Earlier this week it was a Hot Pocket, and now it's a box of Girl Scout cookies that turned a 31-year-old Florida woman into a rabid animal (allegedly) (link to full story at bottom).Her name is Hersha Howard (pictured immediately above), and she apparently really likes her Thin Mints! Howard woke up one recent morning, reportedly famished. So she made her way to the kitchen to get at her Thin Mints (what else are you gonna eat for breakfast, after all?). And that's when the dough really hit the oven!
No Thin Mints! Gone like a plate of cookies on Sesame Street. So Howard reportedly stormed into her roommate's room, woke her up, and accused the roommate (Jasmin Wanke) of misappropriating the Thin Mints for the roommate’s own tasty pleasure.
But the roommate denied the charge, saying she actually fed the cookies to Howard's kids after they woke up hungry at 1:00 in the morning. The roommate even offered to pay Howard 10 bucks for the $3.50-per-box cookies. But nothin' doing on that front!
Instead, Howard allegedly went ape and turned into a real-life cookie monster. First she reportedly grabbed a pair of scissors and chased the roommate down the stairs. Once there, Howard allegedly spied an even better potential weapon – a board – and therefore abandoned the scissors.
Cops say that Howard used to board to clock the roommate one right in the kisser. When the roommate tried to escape into the kitchen, Howard allegedly took to biting the roommate right on the boob!
But business was just picking up at this point. After her little breast brunch, Howard reportedly resumed hitting the roommate, who then fled outside the home. But that didn't stop Howard (allegedly)!
Cops say that outside, Howard picked up a big sign (not clear whether it was a real estate or a street sign) and started pounding the roommate with that baby! Just like "Original Gangsta" New Jack in a hardcore wrestling match (sans the guitar)! Cops soon arrived and busted Howard, charging her with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and aggravated battery.
They also hauled this cookie monster off to the hoosegow, where reportedly "Thin Mints were not served." No word yet whether during this alleged board-and-sign beatdown, Howard ever uttered the famous words, "That’s just the way the cookie crumbles!"
http://www.digitaljournal.com/print/article/303966
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20035801-504083.html?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.6
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Postscript: If you're new to the world of hardcore wrestling and really don't know what I'm talking about, then here's an official introduction courtesy of the "Original Gangsta," New Jack:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgN4_WWzFt8
Personally, I think thin mints are overrated....I prefer just the basic shortbreads - they are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI don't they were ever my favorite either. I liked the ones with peanut butter in the middle.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I just finished off the box of those - they're my 2nd favorites and then the caramel delights in 3rd place. Sadly, the boxes are getting smaller every year....
ReplyDeleteI assume the price must stay the same. They should think about a modest price increase so that the downsizing wouldn't have to be so big.
ReplyDeleteI just have to keep telling myself that it's a good cause, it's not all about the cookie and the quantity, but dang, there's only like 15 cookies in the box now! I'm imagining some money crazed gal as the head of the Girl Scouts and she gets most of the dough - no pun intended =) Well, maybe it was intended a little bit =)
ReplyDeleteThat's what I always fear when supporting good causes and charities: Lord only knows how much of the organization's money may go to paying the exorbitant salaries that so many of these charities' "executives" make.
ReplyDeleteI'm hard pressed to support the national MS "Jerry's Kids" campaign any longer - I got "locked up" on behalf of the bank once and their tactics for getting money from friends is cutthroat! In my 'training,' they told me to play on sympathies and to always try for $20 more, etc.....I didn't like it one bit and I told them as much in a post lock up survey. I also told them I wouldn't do it again and they still called me the next year and tried to make me feel guilty. AND they did it again the year after that! I stick to local charities now....
ReplyDeleteI should start a charity for dumb criminals like the Hot Pocket pair and Thin Mints lady (allegedly) who get sent to the can and then get out years later even less able to operate in society than when they went inside.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a worthy cause for sure...can we start one too for teen moms and incent them to NOT have more kids and incent teens to NOT have even one until they are at least out of high school....I'll donate to that =)
ReplyDelete"Incent" is a new word for me. I assume it's short for incentivize. Pick up something new every day.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's short for incentivize....I had to check to make sure I used it properly, you got me thinking perhaps it was wrong! ha! BUT, it's officially in the dictionary....whew!
ReplyDeleteI just thought it was business world short slang, but if it's in the dictionary, then it's a lot more than that. I question what cave I've been living in when a word like that has totally escaped me until now. I thought I knew every single word in the English language, after all.
ReplyDeleteSo, which one is right here....'preventative' or 'preventive'.....'preventive' sounds more right to me, but I hear 'preventative' all the time when talking about HSAs and medical expenses with clients. I think they're both in the dictionary and mean the exact same thing - that's frustrating! And, I'm glad I could share a new word with ya =)
ReplyDeleteI agree -- preventive sounds more correct to me, but preventative is more used in formal written English. I've noticed that before. It's sort of how like "pleaded" is always used by lawyers, when actually "pled" would be a lot more natural.
ReplyDeleteNow you've taught me a new word....I've never heard 'pleaded'! Why make words harder by adding syllables??
ReplyDeleteHere's another new one: "Natche." That's short for "nature boy" -- the term I apply to Charlie Sheen above. People used to refer to Ric Flair as "Natche" (pronounced with a long "a" sound).
ReplyDeleteThank you again, more new words for HAH =)
ReplyDeleteAnd I bet you haven't heard this phrase: "Space Mountain". That's the mythical place that Flair always bragged he took the ladies to 7 nights a week. In real life, he was married and often with marital problems, from what I've read.
ReplyDelete