Motel Hell: "This Was No Place to Be For a Vacation!" Tennessee "Resort" Named Dirtiest Hotel in America (READER DISCRETION ADVISED)…

If I needed to shack up for the night, I think I'd rather check in to a trash dumpster than this place: Imagine a resort hotel built brand new in the mid-1970's, but then barely maintained, repaired or renovated thereafter – despite remaining open to this day! That's allegedly the case in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, with the "Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center" (various pictures above).

The good words end with that "Grand" name, as the website TripAdvisor.com has named this allegedly rotten joint the "dirtiest hotel in America," and with good reason if you believe the accounts of myriad guests who have stayed there (links at bottom).

I read only 25 of the 161 negative online reviews of this reported hellhole. But that was more than enough to get the dreaded picture and to be able to take you on a little tour of this alleged fleabag (literally) hotel's so-called facilities. Here's what just the first 25 complainants had to say (read at your own risk):

Entering the Front Lobby

-"This is a very dirty rundown facility that has seen its best days years ago."

-"Beyond the front façade, everything is still from the 70's. No repairs (exit signs & bricks were falling as we watched)."

-"They boasted of a 5 story lighted waterfall in the lobby. I had my doubts of the place when I saw that the 'waterfall' was a stone wall that dripped a few drops of water."

The Conference Facilities

-At the banquet facilities, "we paid outrageous prices and were served what amounted to Dinty Moore Beef Stew over white rice."

-"The air vents were covered with black mildew . . . Many of our [conference] attendees now are sick with a respiratory disease."

The Common Areas

-"Ice water in the indoor hot tub."

-"Piles of dirt and trash lined each floor hallway we went on."

-"Chewing tobacco spit oozing down the halls and corridors."

-"I was not aware that there would be several dozen (or more) dogs on the premises, barking all night, and . . . great lakes of dog urine were in the stairwells."

Entering the Room

-"Our door knob to the room was loose and ready to fall off."

-"We had a friend walk right in into our room with 'their' key. They are real keys and some are so worn down that they work in most of the hotel rooms."

-"There were also a couple of rooms that were broken into and valuables were stolen."

-"It was so nasty and with so many spiders webs that you were afraid to step inside. It looked like housekeeping had just came in and walked back out."

-"A room so putrid and smelly it causes a gag-reflex when you walk in."

The Amenities

-"Fireplace didn't work and they had paper clips on the front screen so no one could open it."

-"Phones did not work. Lighting is dark, dingy, dismal."

-"Don't dare use the coffee maker in the room because the smell in the pot infests the coffee, making it taste like sewer water."

-"Electrical outlet missing cover."

-"TV got none of the major networks or even any local news shows."

-"The AC never got cold."

The View

-"The window was so filthy you couldn't see out of it."

The Bed

-"They didn’t even have any blankets under the comforter."

-"Bedspread Cut."

-"No cover over mattress, when turn bedspread back stained."

The Bathroom

-"Showers either freezing or scalding, water smelled like a sewer, propane smell in room, hair on pillows and sheets and dirty!!!!"

-"I couldn't even take a shower, because the water would change from scalding hot to icy cold. I had to jump out twice to avoid being burned and frozen."

-"The Shower had MOLD growing around all corners."

-"There was dirt at least 1/2 inch thick in the bathtub which was filled with lots of dark hair."

-"The toilet was cracked totally in half."

-"Mix and match bathroom of blue toilet w/ yellow seat."

-"The fixtures in the bathroom are so old, they can't be repaired because there are no parts available to fix them."

-"It had a window unit AC in the wall above the double sinks that was blowing black chunks of something out into the sinks while trying to brush my teeth."

-"Pubic hair stuck to the bathroom floor in some unidentifiable, gelatinous liquid."

The "Roommates"

-"BED BUGS and other bugs in the bathroom ceiling and above the king bed."

-"There were at least 50 stink bugs flying around the room."

-"Bugs all over the rooms, ants, fleas, etc."

-"The room is no more than a dog house with a bunch of fleas running around."

-"We found three roaches."

-"There were ants in the room and a corpse of a black beetle."

-"There were dead bugs all over the place except for the yellow jacket which I killed."

-"A bug or a spider bit me in the room one night."

-"I came home with bug bites on my arms and legs from staying in this 'resort.'"

The Asbestos

-"The textured ceiling (asbestos) was falling down in at least 10 places and chunks of the ceiling were on the floor."

The Terror

-"I was booked here for 3 nights but my kids were scared to go to sleep."

The Staff & Hotel Policies

-"Our rooms were non-refundable" and the "entire stay is collected in advance."

-"They told me there was never a manager on duty."

-"No maid service for three days even though we requested it."

-"The employees at the Grand were beyond unpleasant and crossed over to nasty."

-Staffer responded to complaints by saying, "it's not like we hogtied you here sir, you can leave whenever you want."

Suggestions for the Future

-"The Health Department needs to close this place."

-"Health inspector please"

-"Run for your life!!!!!!!!!"

-"Stay away"

-"The best thing that could happen to The 'Grand' Resort is that a meteor fall from the sky and reduce it to rubble."

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/01/25/national/main7281367.shtml
http://www.tripadvisor.com/DirtyHotels-g191http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g55270-d115880-Reviews-Grand_Resort_Hotel_Convention_Center-Pigeon_Forge_Tennessee.html#REVIEWS

A Tale of Three Speeches. And I'm Only Referring to One of Them.

Obama's State of the Union, of course. I didn't even watch Michele Bachmann's speech. I did watch Paul Ryan's short response speech to Obama and have a few observations. But Obama's speech was by far at the Top of the Bill tonight and deserves the most attention.

First, let me say that these are the off-the-cuff reactions, having just now watched Obama's speech on DVR, of a non-partisan and political Independent. I purposefully did not watch any pundit reaction to these speeches tonight, nor did I read any news coverage or analysis, before preparing this blog post.

From my Independent perspective, I would generally divide Obama's speech into three logical and very predictable parts (and thus my reference to "three speeches" above): The beginning, middle and end. Perhaps by design, perhaps not, the beginning and end were replete with passages that I would credit, even given the fact that I am certainly no Obama supporter, did not vote for him (nor McCain), and will not vote for him in 2012. As often stated in this space, I think Obama and W Bush are the two worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime (and I was alive during Carter and part of Nixon).

So let's get it rolling:

The Beginning

I thought the first third of the speech was chock full of purposefully centrist messaging aimed to appeal first and foremost to centrists and Independents, as Obama continues down his current path of trying to appear "moderate" and trying to save his presidency. I think that from an ideological perspective, he's always been and always will be a far leftist and really doesn't mean a word of these messages; however, they're decent messages nonetheless, and if he follows through upon them, what do I care if he doesn't really means them? Here goes:

-I liked the nod to nuclear energy as a part of a comprehensive energy strategy.

-I support the call to more young Americans to become school teachers.

-If true, I applaud Obama's expressed devotion to working with republicans to pursue comprehensive immigration law reform, including a component of securing the borders ("protecting the borders," to use Obama's phrase).

-I generally liked how Obama criticized the fact that the US has one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world, and how he called for that rate to be lowered (paying for it by removing tax loopholes benefiting only particular corporations).

-Although it came a tiny bit later in the speech, I also liked the assertion that Obama will propose to Congress legislation aimed at merging, consolidating and streamlining the federal bureaucracy. Again, will any of this ever be pursued or followed through with? Who the hell knows. Doubt it.

The Middle

I found the middle of the speech to contain all of the most maddening, disingenuous and outrageous aspects of the speech, from my perspective as an Independent. I assume full well that this was by design, as the oldest rule in the book when it comes to any written or spoken work is to make sure you have a strong beginning and ending -- just hope they forget the middle part, if need be:

-Really disliked Obama saying that parts of Obama & The Dems' health care monstrosity need to be changed or overhauled. This from a guy who ram-rodded that pathetic creature through Congress on a party-line vote against the will of the American people just as quickly as he could without ever reading it. This was the perhaps the most angering part of his speech tonight. It only cements for me why I didn't consider voting for him in 2008, and won't consider doing so in 2012.

-His big plan to freeze domestic spending for 5 years. Of course, this falls well short of the sort of serious proposal that needs to come out of DC for even making a small dent in the federal debt and deficit.

-Clinging to the ridiculous talking point that repealing Obama & The Dems' health care creature will actually add to the debt and deficit. I realize that a huge component of the liberal world view is that most people are stupid, but sorry, Mr. President -- we're not that stupid.

-For a second year in a row -- pure lip service to the idea of meaningful medical malpractice tort reform. As if the president's biggest bankrolling interest group (the plaintiff personal injury attorneys) would ever allow that to happen!

-"Stick it to the rich": More devisive rhetoric about it being OK for us in the middle and lower classes to keep our current tax rates, coupled with a call to raise taxes on those damn millionaires. Sorry again, Mr. President, but what you intend for any swath of America, you intend for me. Class warfare is the realm of the mindless.

-Joking about how 2 different federal agencies deal with salmon, depending on what type of water they swim in. As if this president really cares about that. Did he read the omnibus stimulus bill and all of the ridiculous things upon which it spends money? Did he read all the crap that was tossed into the "tax compromise" bill at the end of last year?

-His pledge to veto any bill having earmarks. Completely laughable. Like the omnibus stimulus bill you signed? Can't imagine a throwaway line that could ring more hollow.

-Afghanistan: Trumpeting success there after we just had our bloodiest year there yet in 2010 in the 10 years of that endless war? Sorry -- pathetic.

The End

Like I said, this portion of the speech returned to the more meritorious points of the first 1/3 of the speech:

-I think I have to credit Obama for raising a gay rights point (gays in the military, albeit only very briefly) in this stage of the speech. If you've read me at all, you know that gay rights are as low-on-the-totem-pole of an issue as it gets with me. They are typically right vs. left pissing match issues, which I like to avoid like the plague. Plus, not being gay, I just don't care that much. But gay rights issues are not overly popular in the country, and politicians also typically avoid them like the plague, which is why I give an ounce of credit to Obama for raising one tonight.

-Liked Obama's call for all college campuses to open up to military recruiters. The military isn't for everyone, but why shouldn't everyone have the same convenient opportunity to talk to its recruiters if they wish? And where was Obama's latest Supreme Court nominee on this point in the past? (Wrong side of it, of course).

-Finally, just to Top It Off, Obama finished his speech with several minutes of soaring rhetoric about the American dream. I fully expected him to trot out professional wrestler Dusty Rhodes at any moment. Whatever. That stuff sounds good, and no one will publicly disagree with any of it. But alas, I'm again left to question just how much Obama really believes what comes out of his own mouth.

So my pundit-free, news-coverage-free verdict on Obama's entire speech? From a purely political perspective, it at least seemed well-organized: The messages likely to reach Independents (the people who decide your election outcomes) were stacked into the beginning and end of the speech, while the controversial stuff was buried in the middle. And regardless of any of my doubts, I'll say again: I don't really care if Obama truly believes some of the better ideas he spouts -- for as long as he follows up upon them, who really cares what his true beliefs are?

Short Postscript: Paul Ryan's response speech

It's a thankless job, being tasked with delivering the opposing speech to a State of the Union address. The main guy gets a lot more time, and a lot of applause. The second fiddle gets a sterile environment with no audience and nary a single clap.

Ryan -- although way to the right of me, and as well too devoted I think to doctrinaire supply-side ideology -- has nevertheless impressed me previously with his ability to speak on his feet and to come across as a genuine, intelligent, plain-speaking advocate for getting our potentially fatal national debt and deficit under control.

I thought his speech tonight was adequate, but that's about it. It was too laiden with typical conservative talking points, the like of which we've heard over and over again. Ryan didn't pull a Bobby Jindal, i.e. great on his feet but awful on prompter. But I'd assess Ryan as great on his feet, and only OK/mediocre on prompter tonight. Plus as stated, the text of his speech was too inclusive of cliched conservative talking points rather than the plain speaking that typically pervades Ryan's impromptu appearances.

BTW, basically as an aside, and concerning the Off Promoter/On Prompter Divide: (1) Speaking extemporaneously and (2) Reading from a script are two very distinct skills. Rarely does any politician excel at both. JFK, the last great American president (in my humble opinion), did excel at both. Prominent Examples -- (1) Obama: Very good on prompter (didn't he call this "a gift" once?), but mediocre off prompter; (2) W Bush: Terrible at both; (3) Reagan: Same grades as Obama; (4) Clinton: Like JFK, very good at both, but he's still a slimeball!

Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Certainly longer than intended. I rarely watch political speeches since I tend to dislike most all politicians, regardless of party! But I watched tonight and felt compelled to blog about it.

I've Heard of "Darkhorse" Candidates, But This Is Ridiculous: Ill-Intentioned, Bad-Talking Vampire to Run for President in 2012!

Do we really need "new blood" in politics this bad? His name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey ("Impaler" being his actual nickname) (pictured on right and immediately above), and the New Jersey resident and self-described vampire -- who has previously run for governor of Minnesota -- has tossed his bat into the ring to run against Obama in 2012.

The Impaler has filed the required registration with the Federal Election Commission, and so his candidacy is officially off and bleeding (link to full story at bottom). And if you're looking for a "tough on crime" candidate, The Impaler may definitely be your ghoul:

"I won't be bullied, I won't be blackmailed. Criminals and terrorists will fear me along with corrupt law enforcement officials. I will not tolerate crime or terrorism."

The Impaler may also be a bite of fresh blood in the sense that he doesn't appear to mince words like so many of your garden variety, mealy mouthed democrats and republicans. Said the Impaler:

"Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled. Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I'll beat them, dismember them and decapitate them."

I guess they don't call him "the Impaler" for nothing. And while many politicians like to spend their off-time with such blue-blooded pursuits as a round of golf, a trek around the equestrian course or a nice game hunt, the Impaler has them beat there too, as he prefers to occupy his life with more red-blooded American activities:

"Sharkey says that he drinks the blood of his 'girlfriends and mistresses' [what's the difference?] two times a week."

But the Impaler does seem just a bit delusional when it comes to assessing his odds of turning a state dinner red anytime soon:

"Yes, I have a chance of winning. People like Sarah Palin are making it quite easy to pull off."

While that last quote would seem very accurate coming out of the mouth of Obama himself, it doesn't work so well for the Impaler, who unfortunately will have just a little more competition than only Mama Grizzly (who's unlikely to get the GOP nomination, anyway).

But what if the Impaler could face Palin in a straight up race, just the two of them? I'm afraid that I'd have to give this crazy vampire a real bitin' chance in that one.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/vampire-hopefuls-running-president-2012/story?id=12733468&page=1

Giving a Whole New Meaning to "Happy Ending"? Hardly: Female Nurse Loses License for 20 Years for Having Sex w/ Terminally Ill Male Hospice Patient.

The Oklahoma dude had six months to live when he and his hospice nurse, 33-year-old Amber Van Brunt (pictured on left), did the dirty deed. Van Brunt admits the affair occurred but claims it was OK since she wasn't "on duty" at the time. (Is that really the best she could come up with?!).

Meantime, the dude -- 43-year-old food salesman Chris Reiter -- was a married father of two who claimed that Van Brunt had "seduced" him (links to full story at bottom).

The fling went down at the terminally ill Reiter's home (apparently right under his wife's nose), and it looks to cost Van Brunt her nursing license for a long time after the Oklahoma Nursing Board suspended the license for 20 years. (BTW, if you're going to make it 20 years, why not make it permanent?). Van Brunt does have an ongoing appeal, however.

I had in mind to bust out some variation of an old Henny Youngman one-liner (from Goodfellas: "Patient with six months to live told doctor that he couldn’t pay his bill; doctor gave him another six months"), but then I read the very sad ending to this story:

It appears that Van Brunt broke the guy's heart when (after they'd already been between the sheets) she broke the news to Reiter that she was pregnant by another dude. And she reportedly didn't even spill the beans in person, instead sending Reiter a text message stating, simply, that she had been "knocked up" by someone else. (How nice).

Reiter shot her a text back (can I still say "shot," CNN and democrat party?) that said, "You broke my heart babe." Reiter reportedly attempted suicide after that, and he died a few months later. His wife claims that Reiter didn't die from his terminal condition (ALS), but rather starved himself to death.

The moral of the story: Professionals, regardless of profession, should never get sexually involved with patients, clients or customers. It could potentially impact the professionalism with which they do their jobs, and (moreover) it's just slimy. Rarely a "happy ending," I would assume.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348608/Amber-Van-Brunt-Nurse-sex-married-patient-loses-license.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20028760-504083.html?tag=pop

I Nominate the Wall Street Journal This Weekend For the Worst Headline of the Year: "Obama to Push New Spending."Stop the (Money Printing) Press!

I thought the point of a headline is to grab attention? To very succinctly state the newness or uniqueness of the story, or to at least cleverly entertain through use of puns and phraseology. The point of headlines is never to bore or to extend a full invitation to the reader to look elsewhere for a story to read.

In that vein, words and phrases like "ongoing," "continues," and "remains the same" are to be avoided like the plague in headlines and news writing. Such terms mean that nothing's changed. Nothing's new. So why is the journalist writing about it? What's new? Where's the news?

Which brings me to a Wall Street Journal headline and story this weekend (link at bottom): The headline reads, "Obama to Push New Spending," and the story's first sentence says that "President Barack Obama will call for new government spending on infrastructure, education and research in his State of the Union address Tuesday."

Obama to push for new and bigger spending? Why not just write a headline that says, "Sun Rises in the East." Or how about, "Winter Expected to be Cold." Or I got it: "Alabama $hithouse Wreaks." Or maybe: "Lady Gaga Shocks."

Well, invitation accepted, Wall Street Journal. I read that headline and first sentence, and it was on to the next story for me. But I will leave you with a boring and obvious headline of my own, under which you can feel free to file this one away: "Rager Says Entertain Me."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704754304576096171216582908.html?mod=WSJ_hp_MIDDLENexttoWhatsNewsSecond

The "Todd Palin Sex Scandal" Is a Sexy Story, But Probably Not True: Just Look at Whom He Was Allegedly Cheating With!

Her name is Shailey Tripp, and she's featured in the first and second pictures above from the National Enquirer's "story" (as found on the website, "Hollywood Dame" -- links at bottom). Tripp is a massage therapist who's reportedly been busted for prostitution.

As best as I can tell, the only possible link the Enquirer has between Shailey Tripp and Todd Palin comes in the form of mysterious "documents" that allegedly show that Tripp "contributed free massages to an anonymous person working for Sarah's campaign for governor of Alaska."

Those "documents," plus an anonymous e-mail alleging that Todd received some "happy endings" from the masseuse, are the basis of the Enquirer's story. There you have it! There must have been an affair! Very flimsy stuff.

But nevermind that this "story" is very short on facts and evidence and long on innuendo. Nope, what truly makes it utterly unbelievable is its most basic premise: That Todd Palin would actually cheat on his very hot wife with that!

If he did, that would make Todd demented. Deranged. Sick. Twisted. In need of a lobotomy. Shock therapy. Or at a minimum, the "First Dude" is legally blind. That would be the best case scenario.

And that's why I call "bunk" on this whole story until the Enquirer comes forward with something more and until something other than tabloid and left-wing websites pay any attention to it.

One very odd coincidence (or is it?) in this whole thing that few seem to be talking about: That the son of Todd and Sarah's daughter, Bristol, is named "Tripp." Maybe the Dancing With the Stars "sensation" Bristol was the "anonymous person" on the Palin campaign who received the free massages? And Shailey Tripp did such a great job that Bristol named her child after Tripp?

Of course, that would be outlandish speculation -- very much like the Todd Palin affair allegation itself, at this point. But if it does ultimately turn out to be true, it's sure going to be fun to blog about it. That much is fo' sho'!

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/todd_palin_sex_scandal_prostitute_shailey_tripp_exclusive/celebrity/70033 http://hollywooddame.com/2011/01/21/todd-palin-had-an-affair-with-hooker-photos/

Forgettaboutit! As the FBI This Week Scores the Biggest Bust of American Mafia Figures in History, I'm Already Thinking Ahead to the Movie!

In case you missed it, the FBI this week arrested 127 alleged organized crime members from all of the infamous "Five Families" of New York City (I thought Michael Corleone already rubbed all of them out in 1972?) as well as from mafia families in New Jersey and New England (links at bottom). Put another way, it was a bad day indeed for The Sopranos and for a lot of other goodfellas. All in all, it was the biggest single operation takedown of wiseguys in American history.

The crimes charged against these 127 "friends of ours" cover 30 years and a range of crimes that likely come as no surprise to anyone: Protection rackets; shakedowns; assorted racketeering; extortion; drug trafficking; labor corruption; maimings; and a healthy dose of gangland and completely senseless murders -- one involving an important dispute over spilled drinks.

One highly entertaining aspect of the busts are all of the colorful character names and nicknames sported by these 127 individuals (read on). And you know that a movie will ultimately be produced highlighting the details of the FBI's investigation and the final days on the loose of these 127 (alleged) members of La Cosa Nostra.

I nominate Martin Scorsese to produce and direct the inevitable film, and I encourage him to take it even bigger than his previous gangster epics such as Goodfellas, Casino and The Departed. Let's go a full four hours, and let's give it the biggest name cast in the history of gangster movies! Here's what I'm talkin' about (based on the names & nicknames of this week's various arrestees):

The Gangsters

-Bartolomeo "Bobby Glasses" Vernace (Gambino family boss) ... Al Pacino

-Andrew "The Mush" Russo (Colombo family boss) ... Marlon Brando (sure he's dead, but just use modern imaging technology, like in Tron Legacy)

-Richard "The Claw" Fusco (Colombo consigliore) ... Robert De Niro

-Joseph "Junior Lollipops" Carna (Colombo capo) ... Joe Pesci

-Dennis "Fat Dennis/The Beard" DeLucia (Colombo capo) ... Johnny Depp

-Vincenzo "Vinny Carwash" Frogiero (Gambino soldier) ... James Gandolfini

-Frank "Meatball" Ballantoni (Gambino associate) ... Steve Buscemi

-Anthino "Hootie" Russo (Colombo capo) ... Joe Pantoliano

-Jack the Whack ... Frank Vincent

-"Johnny Cash" ... Robert Loggia (a fellow Missouri J-School grad, BTW, although 42 years before me)

-Tony Bagels ... James Caan

-Johnny Pizza ... Abe Vigoda

-"Lumpy" ... Ray Liotta

-"The Bull" ... Robert Duvall

-"The Fang" ... Vincent Pastore

-"Baby Shacks" ... Tony Sirico

The Wives

-Mrs. Mush ... Edie Falco

-Mrs. Lollipop ... Talia Shire

-Mrs. Claw ... Diane Keaton

-Mrs. Fang ... Susie Essman (creative casting)

-Mrs. Glasses ... Sharon Stone

-Mrs. Carwash ... Aida Turturro

The Girlfriends

-Gumar to The Whack ... Lorraine Bracco

-Meatball's gumar ... Jamie-Lynn Sigler

-Gumar to Mr. Pizza ... Drea de Matteo

-Baby Shacks' Baby ... Michelle Pfeiffer

The Molls

-Moll to Mr. Bagels ... Angelina Jolie

-The Beard's Girl Friday ... Christina Hendricks

-Hootie's Blowfish ... Kathrine Narducci

The Heat

-Lead FBI Investigator ... Jeff Bridges

-Key Undercover Mob Infiltrator ... Matt Damon

Working title: "The Mush, The Meatball and Me" or, alternatively, "Whackin' Out The Whack!"

Two words: EP-IC!!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348951/100-suspected-mobsters-arrested-biggest-crackdown-New-York-mafia.html
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/01/20/feds-arrest-over-100-in-ny-nj-mob-takedown/

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/expert-mob-takedown-shines-light-fading-aging-pathetic/story?id=12729795&page=2

I Declare This "Uncivil Thursday" After Democrat Compares GOP to Nazis and Florida Teens Allegedly Snort Ashes of Cremated Man Like They Were Cocaine.

Let the non-civility begin! First up is democrat party congressman Steve Cohen of Tennessee, who – during this week's debate on the repeal of the health care monstrosity – "invoked the Holocaust to attack republicans on health care and compared rhetoric on the issue to the work of infamous Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels" (first link at bottom). Said Cohen:

"They [republicans] say it's a government takeover of health care, a big lie just like Goebbels. You say it enough, you repeat the lie, and eventually, people believe it . . . The Germans said enough about the Jews and people believed it -- and you have the Holocaust."

Nice. Is this what the American left was talking about when they preached to all of us non-stop over the past few weeks about the need for "civility"? Do as they say, not as they do, as usual. Hypocrites.

And an uncivil honorable mention from the political world, BTW, goes to new republican governor of Alabama, Robert Bentley, for his comments earlier this week stating that only Christians are his "brothers" (second link at bottom). Those comments stink like a $hithouse; but then again, it is Alabama.

The most unholy of the uncivil this week comes out of the Sunshine State. Sort of a non-civility coup de grace, you might say: Five Florida teens stand accused of burglarizing a house, swiping the cremated remains of a man and trying to snort them up like cocaine! (Third link at bottom).

Just for good measure, the five teens also allegedly stole from the home the cremated ashes of two dogs and then tried to snort those too! You might think this was one dumb bunch of (alleged) criminals, but not so fast!:

The linked story indicates that they did eventually realize the ashes were not making them high, at which time they ceased & desisted in their snorting. But by then, it was too late: These alleged snorting sleazebuckets had already "urned" a one-way ticket to the pokey.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2011/01/abc-news-jonathan-karl-reports-the-newfound-civility-didnt-last-long-political-rhetoric-in-congress-doesnt-get-much.html
http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2011/01/18/alabama_governor_christians
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/teen-thieves-snorted-cremated-remains

Their Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Comin' of the Sarah? Supporters Record Oddball Tribute Song to Palin. Will It Hit the Top 40?

It's been all over the Net this week and has gone viral on YouTube. The zany song is called the "Sarah Palin Battle Hymn," and it's set to the music of the famous "Battle Hymn of the Republic." It was apparently recorded at a church by the motley duo shown above.

I say that because nothing says solemn church service quite like an old ball cap and a political hymn or two. And isn't that the same dude who performed that old novelty song, "Convoy" (above right)?

Regardless, and likely thankfully, I don't think this or too many other Palin tribute songs are going to be hittin' heavy rotation on the nation's Top 40 stations anytime soon. Can you just imagine what this week's Billboard Top 10 might look like if all of America's popular music artists became suddenly smitten with Sarah? Maybe something like this:

#10. Rihanna, "Only Rogue (In the World)"

#9. Bruno Mars, "Just the Wasilla You Are"

#8. Black Eyed Peas, "The Slime (Dirty Dem)"

#7. Wiz Khalifa, "Black And Yellow Blood Libel"

#6. Todd Inglesias, "Tonight (I'm Nailin' Palin)"

#5. P!nk, "Raise Your Tea Cup"

#4. Ke$ha, "We R Who We Refudiate"

#3. Rihanna, "What's My Latest Bra Size"

#2. Katy Perry, "Firework & FireObama"

#1. Bruno Mars, "Grenade That Grizzly!"

Good Grief. Forget the First Amendment: With a list like that, I think I'd actually want Obama’s FCC Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd to get his jollies and start imposing some censorship!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/17/sarah-palin-battle-hymn-song-video_n_810005.html#s225348&title=Sarah_Palin_Battle

http://music-mix.ew.com/2011/01/13/bruno-mars-no-1-billboard-hot-100-chart-2/

Clone Zone: "I Don’t Want to Live My Life Again," Said Snuffleupagus. The Woolly Mammoth, Like Most Things From the Past, Should Stay Dead & Buried.

"I don't want to live my life again" was a line from legendary rock group The Ramones' theme song from the Pet Sematary films. The point being: Once dead, whom in their right mind really wants to come back to life, lest you wish to end up like Clancy Brown's crazy "Gus the Sheriff" character or one of the many demented resurrected pets from those films.

That's the first thing that occurred to me when I read the crazy story this week of a Japanese "researcher" who wants to bring an extinct woolly mammoth back to life (so to speak) through the cloning process over the next five years (link to full story at bottom).

His name is Akira Iritani of Kyoto University, and he claims he can resurrect a woolly mammoth through cloning if he can just get his little hands on some frozen tissue from the remains of one of the extinct pachyderms in Siberia. He says he would use a modern elephant from Africa to act as a "surrogate" mama. How convenient.

Iritani says that if he gets ahold of the proper tissue, his chances for bringing back a living woolly mammoth would be 30 percent. Translation: He would have little or no chance of actually pulling it off.

But regardless, why even try? What truly bona fide purpose is there? He'd be creating a solitary lonely animal, not bringing back the entire species. And for what? So that human beings could gawk at it in some display somewhere? So that stuffy academics somewhere can purport to "study" it and stick their "findings" in some science journal read by no one?

I for one say let the woolly mammoth rest in peace. Dead things from the past best live on in history books only.

http://www.thetechherald.com/article.php/201103/6703/World-to-welcome-back-woolly-mammoth-by-2016

No Fun League? I Can Appreciate Players Behaving Like Jackasses, Just So Long As They Entertain Me!

And the New York Jets' Shonn Greene certainly did entertain me yesterday. If you didn't catch the Jets 28-21 upset victory over New England, Greene scored a touchdown to put the Jets up by 14 points in the waning minutes. Pretty much game over. And to signify that fact, Greene celebrated the TD by laying down and taking a little nap in the endzone, using the football as his pillow (as shown above). In short: "Nap time" for the Patriots.

Just for good measure, it seemed like all of the Jets' "players, coaches, trainers, fans, press corps, rodeo clowns, and escaped mental patients converged on Greene" to wake him from his slumber and join in the celebration. And to top things off, Greene -- after being awakened -- sprinted off the field doing his best impersonation of a jet airliner (a common gesture by the Jets players, but Greene's "flight" was perhaps the best effort of the day).

Through some combination of all of these events, Greene drew a 15-yard "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalty that was assessed on the "ensuing" (can't we just say "next" or "following"?) kickoff. But the game was essentially over, with only 1:46 left on the clock. If the Jets had found a way to lose that game at that point, it certainly would not have been because of Greene's penalty. It wasn't like Greene's TD had merely put the Jets up by one score.

Which brings me to the sourpuss, Grumpy Gus reaction of CBS' old prude play-by-by announcer Jim Nantz. Nantz, who doubles as the network's main Golf Whisperer, has apparently been hanging around too many stuff country clubs and golf courses and, perhaps, should be put out to pasture like so many Pat Summeralls. His reaction:

"I've never understood the absurdity of all the self-aggrandizing and now you're going to cost your team 15 yards on the kick and you're going to give Brady and his unit a chance to do something."

Wrong, Jimmy boy. As stated, the game was over. Have a little fun, dude! This wasn't the back nine at Augusta National. And BTW: "Self-aggrandizing"? Who are you -- Nancy Pelosi or Karl Rove? Who talks that way? Why not toss some "robust," "vitriolic," "paradigm" or "capitulation" blasts into the mix why you're at it? If you're going to talk like some out-of-touch DC beltway insider, you might as well use the whole vocabulary!

For the record, I personally found Greene's routine to be hilarious. And I don't mean merely "LOL" funny, which has come to be the Internet age's way of fake-laughing through a keyboard. Nope. I actually busted out in laughter watching Greene's whole scene yesterday. The only thing better would have been for Greene to break out a little blanket and maybe a nightcap as appropriate props. Now that would have been really funny!

Final thought: Pro sports could use a few more teams like the Jets (just not too many more) -- the brash, arrogant team completely molded in the over-the-top personality of its head coach, Rex Ryan. As indicated, I wouldn't want every pro sports team to mirror the Jets, but it's certainly entertaining to have some of those teams around. Especially in the No Fun League.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Video-CBS-announcer-bashes-Jets-absurd-touchd?urn=nfl-308377
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/575289-nfl-playoffs-2011-new-york-jets-pittsburgh-steelers-and-mondays-top-nfl-news/entry/42688-shonn-greene-taking-a-nap-in-the-end-zone-draws-flag-who-cares
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/jets/galleries/jets_look_to_back_up_talk_vs_patriots/jets_look_to_back_up_talk_vs_patriots.html

I've Heard of Back Alley Abortions, But "Black Market Boob & Butt Jobs" Out of an Apartment Bedroom? And Complete With a Healthy Dose of Krazy Glue?!

With a headline reading "Booby-Trapped," this story's from New York, where 36-year-old Whalesca Castillo (pictured on the left) has allegedly been running a "breast-&-butt mill" out of her own bedroom "since at least 2009" (link to full story at bottom).

Cops say Castillo, a beautician, would take advantage of her job at a local hair and nail salon to enlist people "who wanted more than just pretty nails" in order to be clients at her makeshift apartment boob & butt job clinic. According to the cops, "her bedroom looked like a clinic, but with a massage table instead of an operating table."

The reported going rate for one of Castillo’s amateur boob or butt jobs? 1000 clams. Once the customer had bucked up, it was time to bust out the silicon! Castillo would allegedly have her "patients" sprawl out on the massage table "for dangerous injections of liquid silicone that she had shipped from the Dominican Republic." But it was only after the injections that the real fun began (allegedly)!

Instead of using a sterile suture to close up the wounds, cops say that Castillo would close things up with Krazy Glue! (I wonder what she used for an anesthetic? A bottle of Jack Daniels?)

And if you had an adverse reaction to one of these insane procedures, then you wouldn't want to look to Castillo for any help or support: Cops says that after one "patient" passed out following a Castillo "treatment," Castillo told the woman that "she couldn't go the hospital because the injections were illegal."

And illegal for a reason: The injections also risked the the life of the "patient." The reported risks of these twisted "procedures" included permanent lumps in the skin, infection, skin ulceration, and even death.

That's why the FBI busted the alleged boob job charlatan this week and is trying to throw the book at her. Castillo bonded out of the can on Friday for $100,000 and now faces three years in the joint. (I'm surprised they're not trying to give her the rack.)

Maybe in the pen she can find some new customers and get back in business right there in her cell: Ten cartons ‘a smokes for a boob job; Eight cartons to pad that ass.

http://newyorkpost.com/p/news/local/bronx/booby_trapped_EDzlKSQPVHJE69shdiyidN

Where Are the Calls for "Civility" to the Nation's Animals After a Bloody Week in which a Fox Shot a Man & a Rat Bit a Dude Right on the Tallywacker?!

It was a bad week for humans. The small land mammals of the world are apparently fed up with us pushing our weight around so much, and they ain't takin' it any longer! First up is the curious case of the fox who reportedly used his "paw" (do foxes have paws or hoofs?) to pull the trigger on a rifle, injuring the man who had been hunting the fox.

The first linked story says the fox had been wounded by the hunter but "shot its would be killer" by "pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun as the pair scuffled after the man tried to finish the animal off with the butt of the rifle."

Frankly, I'm not sure what the odder sight would be here: The fox operating a firearm or the fox putting up his dukes (errrr, paws) in order to engage in a "scuffle" with the hunter? Regardless, "the animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle" ended up reportedly "pulling the trigger with its paw," sending the hunter to the ER with a leg wound. The fox escaped, and there's no word whether it's facing any charges or whether it remains armed and dangerous.

Next up: I've heard of a "jailhouse rat," but this ridiculous (second link)! Some rat (both figuratively and literally) in New York allegedly took a bite out of a male inmate's penis at a county hoosegow, "drawing blood" in the process.

The inmate – 54-year-old Peter Solomon – says the furry critter's presence was due to the deliberate "indifference" of his jailers, who allegedly "knew the ward in which they placed him was infested with rodents." Solomon also claims his jailers "mistreated him because he is black," and that he's been the butt of jokes ("rabies jabs") around the joint ever since the rat mistook his junk for a Kraft cheese stick.

Since I doubt the rat has two plug nickels to scrape together, Solomon is instead going after the deeper pockets of the county in a new lawsuit. Similar to the gun-toting fox, there's no indication yet whether this rat is still on the loose or whether cops are looking to finger it for its alleged little role in this whole sordid event.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/us_belarus_fox;_ylt=Anaio1QYos_5VVn.0OJI1nJzfNdF
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12187409