Do we really need "new blood" in politics this bad? His name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey ("Impaler" being his actual nickname) (pictured on right and immediately above), and the New Jersey resident and self-described vampire -- who has previously run for governor of Minnesota -- has tossed his bat into the ring to run against Obama in 2012.The Impaler has filed the required registration with the Federal Election Commission, and so his candidacy is officially off and bleeding (link to full story at bottom). And if you're looking for a "tough on crime" candidate, The Impaler may definitely be your ghoul:
"I won't be bullied, I won't be blackmailed. Criminals and terrorists will fear me along with corrupt law enforcement officials. I will not tolerate crime or terrorism."
The Impaler may also be a bite of fresh blood in the sense that he doesn't appear to mince words like so many of your garden variety, mealy mouthed democrats and republicans. Said the Impaler:
"Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled. Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I'll beat them, dismember them and decapitate them."
I guess they don't call him "the Impaler" for nothing. And while many politicians like to spend their off-time with such blue-blooded pursuits as a round of golf, a trek around the equestrian course or a nice game hunt, the Impaler has them beat there too, as he prefers to occupy his life with more red-blooded American activities:
"Sharkey says that he drinks the blood of his 'girlfriends and mistresses' [what's the difference?] two times a week."
But the Impaler does seem just a bit delusional when it comes to assessing his odds of turning a state dinner red anytime soon:
"Yes, I have a chance of winning. People like Sarah Palin are making it quite easy to pull off."
While that last quote would seem very accurate coming out of the mouth of Obama himself, it doesn't work so well for the Impaler, who unfortunately will have just a little more competition than only Mama Grizzly (who's unlikely to get the GOP nomination, anyway).
But what if the Impaler could face Palin in a straight up race, just the two of them? I'm afraid that I'd have to give this crazy vampire a real bitin' chance in that one.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/vampire-hopefuls-running-president-2012/story?id=12733468&page=1
"Sharkey says that he drinks the blood of his 'girlfriends and mistresses' [what's the difference?] two times a week."
But the Impaler does seem just a bit delusional when it comes to assessing his odds of turning a state dinner red anytime soon:
"Yes, I have a chance of winning. People like Sarah Palin are making it quite easy to pull off."
While that last quote would seem very accurate coming out of the mouth of Obama himself, it doesn't work so well for the Impaler, who unfortunately will have just a little more competition than only Mama Grizzly (who's unlikely to get the GOP nomination, anyway).
But what if the Impaler could face Palin in a straight up race, just the two of them? I'm afraid that I'd have to give this crazy vampire a real bitin' chance in that one.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/vampire-hopefuls-running-president-2012/story?id=12733468&page=1
Posts
