Ordained recently by the Broken Bow, Nebraska, School District: 17 and 18-year-old students may pose with weapons (and presumably other props) in their school pics just so long as the pics "don't depict violence towards humanity"...
Now, much like Michelle ObamaMeals, the banning of corporal punishment, and the renaming of offensive terms like "Halloween party" and "Christmas break," this new gun initiative again takes American schools in a direction I would've thunk unfathomable a few decades ago.
But what the hell do I know over here? ALL in the name of "Progress" and "conser*ative values," right? Just wish I was still in high school to take advantage. Adhering closely to the new Broken Bow policy, here's some of the directions I might've taken my senior photos:
- Pose with a big pair of brass knuckles: I figure I fully comply with the policy as long as I keep my arm and fist limp at my side like a ragdoll. A raised pair of knucks, in contrast, might be construed as a threat towards humanity.
- Utilize a Glock 22 handgun, complete with silencer: I might holster the sidearm, but the silencer would present difficulties with that. So instead I'd simply place it harmlessly on a decorative pedestal next to me. How quaint!
- Brandish an unsheathed Samurai sword: It could be part of a harmless "Games of Thrones" motif, incorporating for good measure a midget and one of those Ned Stark dummy heads from Season 1 that looks like W Bush. [And no opposition here to an Obama rodeo clown mask, just for fairness, Yael Abouhalkah.]
- Blast off a Civil War cannon as the camera flashes: It ain't violence, after all, if I don't aim the artillery at anyone in particular.
- Include a couple of broads from down to the local titty bar: No violence towards humanity there, lest you count their meat puppets as loaded weapons.
- Depict Hot Teacher paddlin' my ass with a 2X4: It wouldn't be a real swat, and besides Rager's been a naughty boy who could use a little correction (and more than just a good talking-to).
The possibilities here, it would seem, are endless. Don't even get me started on buggy whips and riding crops.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/22/guns-yearbook-photos_n_6029048.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2805163/School-district-allows-students-pose-guns-yearbook-photos-long-pictures-don-t-depict-violence-humanity.html
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