37-year-old Jeremy Sappington is charged with murdering his 50-year-old maternal aunt, Verna Sarten (both pictured above), of Chouteau, Oklahoma. Sappington reportedly told cops he was banging Auntie "in exchange for housing" until one day he just got sick of the hag. Sappington further told cops:
"He wanted to break things off with his aunt, so he grabbed a gun that Sarten had been hiding under her mattress, walked up behind her and fired a shot at her head."
Now, I don't mean to be one to judge, but I do think that if this Sappington would've taken just a little bit of time to think things through, he might've come up with a better break-up plan. And something short of first degree murder (allegedly). A few ideas:
- Hit up your Mama's other sisters for some new digs, and take to banging one of them instead to pay the rent.
- Two words: The first cousins.
- Three words: And What About Mama?
- If you're swingin' both ways, see if Uncle might've been willing to substitute into Auntie's slot a few times a week. Just to mix things up.
- Avoid the death penalty and life in prison by merely giving Auntie a good beatin' to drive home the break up point. Take a riding crop to her ass to make sure she capisce.
- Or, if gunplay's a must, then eschew blowing Auntie's brains out in favor of sending her a clear message. A blast in the knee cap, by way of example, will usually clench ya the title.
But alas, I admit we don't know the whole back story here. Maybe Sappington did try some of these alternative measures, but to no avail. 'Course, he could've just walked away from the situation too. Not to be unfairly simplistic over here.
http://houston.cbslocal.com/2014/03/15/police-oklahoma-man-killed-aunt-to-end-sexual-relationship/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2580486/Jeremy-Sappington-shot-dead-aunt-tried-burn-body-tired-having-sex-exchange-place-live.html
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