Friday, September 27, 2013

"Testicle-Eating Fish Related to Piranha Caught in New Jersey": Sounds Like a Damn Monster Movie!













This fish story from New Jersey (link below) -- documenting a particularly nasty strain of fish referred to, in highly original fashion, as "The Ball Cutter" (a.k.a. "Pacu"; pictured immediately above) -- has me thinking of a new film...

It would be along the lines of the classic horror (parody) film from 1978, Piranha, and its remake of much more recent vintage from 2010 (whose most redeeming value was an all-too-short appearance at the start by Richard Dreyfuss before the fishes ate him)...

Only this time around, as a special added attraction, you'll have the further deal-sweetener that these fish will chomp off all the Jersey men's balls as a part of the carnage. Can you just imagine some of the facial expressions on the dudes' faces as these freak fish first engage down under? This one's got Classic written all over it!

And as always, of course, the Jersey film will need a title, and I've already been working that one out.  Set forth below are some of my current candidates for working titles (once I gots the title in the can, it's casting call time, baby!):

-Bean Bake Under the Boardwalk

-My Balls Was Broken in Hoboken

-Meadowlands Massacre: Those Ain't Hoffa's Huevos

-No Country For Old Acorns

-This'll Fix 'Em:  Ball Cutter Neuters Newark

-Crackin' Paulie's Walnuts

-Jersey Horror: Calling Guido's Gonads

-Now I've Had My Drink -- They Ate Sonny's on the Causeway

-Sack Attack in Hackensack

-Boardwalk Vampire: Nucky Not So Lucky

-Gov. Chris Christie stars in No Fish Can Find My Cojones!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/testicle-eating-fish-arrive-n-article-1.1466895
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2431164/Ball-cutter-pacu-fish-caught-New-Jersey-pensioner-local-park-pond.html