Monday, June 4, 2012

It's Official: No Zombie Apocalypse. The CDC Over the Weekend Spouts, "We Do Not Know of a Virus or Condition That Would Reanimate the Dead." What a Load Off the Mind...



...what with the recent rash of cannibal attacks in several states.  The same statement by the CDC also assures all of us that the organization is not aware of any virus or condition "that would present zombie-like symptoms" (link to full story at bottom).   Many nationwide apparently had been worried... 

So rest easy tonight.  I'm just glad the CDC is around to tell us these kinds of things.  Your federal tax dollars hard at rest.

Now, if the CDC could also only put our mind at ease these days about the spread of other prevalent physical and mental disorders such as vampirism, wolfman's cough and Mr. Hyde's fever, not to mention loony left-winger lout's syndrome and deranged right-winger rat's ass. [Although maybe I shouldn't speak so lightly about those last two, since they are very real.]

http://dailycaller.com/2012/06/01/cdc-no-zombies-despite-cannibal-attacks/
Posted by The Independent Rage

11 comments:

  1. Seriously, CDC? That's offensive, isn't it? Good grief!

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  2. I guess it is better than one possible alternative, i.e. them weighing in that a Zombie Apocalypse is actually in the works.

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  3. BTW, HAH, try guessing the three films/shows (they're a mix of movie/TV) from which I took those three pictures.

    I'll even help you out to eliminate one possibility: None of the three is from 1974's "The Thirsty Dead" starring Jennifer Billingsley.

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  4. Oh, Honey.....I'm sorry to disappoint, but the only zombies I would possibly recognize would be the ones from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. I haven't seen a zombie movie. Not even one. Not ever. Can we still be friends, I hope?? =)

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  5. Most of them stink. But if you've never even seen the original "Night of the Living Dead" from 1968 (second picture above), you should watch it. You can work up the courage to do so -- just remember, ZOMBIES DON'T EXIST!

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  7. And if they did exist, they have to be the one of the easiest movie monsters to escape or defeat. They lumber around very slowly, such that you speed-walk away from them. And a stabbing or bullet to the head always takes them out. You think Jason Voorhees goes down with a mere knife shot to the head? No Siree, but he ain't no zombie, either.

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  8. See, now, you're putting the possibility of them being real back into my head! You said, 'if' so you're saying there's a chance! haha!

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  9. I actually wouldn't mind a good Zombie Apocalypse. Betcha it would get me out of having to go to work for awhile.

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  10. Actually, you've just shown me the rainbow at the end of the rain....I could go for some work free time myself! Bring on the zombies!

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  11. Zombie Apocalypse, or a decent asteroid-earth collision. Either one should do the trick.

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