"He's Got Some 'Splaining to Do," and His Name Ain't Even Lucy: Old Man "Accidentally" Fires Up a Damn Porno for Kids at Child's Birthday Party...

"Gather round, children, gather round. The next item on the party agenda is a special added attraction. We're gonna watch The Smurfs Movie!!! And here we go!" But as the Surround Sound then features a voice screeching, "Give it to me 'til I turn blue Big Daddy," it quickly becomes apparent to all in attendance that that ain't Smurfette and Papa Smurf up on that damn big screen!...

It all started pleasantly enough last week in Tremonton, Utah, where the old man had a bunch of little shits over to his joint to celebrate his grade school kid's birthday. And the old man had a big show stopper in mind -- playing The Smurfs Movie on DVD for all the little tikes and tots.

But when the old man went to get the film started, he claims he "accidentally switched on porn for the youngsters instead of the much more child-friendly film choice." And cops say the little kids all saw the porn goin' down (for lack of a better phrase) before the old man had a chance to switch it the hell off.

The old man tried to claim that someone had tampered with the Smurfs DVD and had stuck a hardcore porn film on there instead, but the cops didn't buy it. Instead, they suspect the porn was the old man's own, although they aren't charging him with anything since they believe it was actually an "accidental" push of the buttons that pulled out the porn for the little punks.

Still though, having the porn on hand in the first place has reportedly "left the dad embarrassed by the mistake." As the local police chief [named Ricky Ricardo?] says, "He got some explaining to do" (actual quote).

Although, frankly, I'm not sure why. Who gives a rat's ass if the old man gots a little legal porn around. Now, he does need to start paying a lot closer attention to detail so that he never again exposes minors to porn (even if by accident), 'cause that ain't cool at all.

But as to having the smut in the first instance: No further explanation necessary -- leastways not in my book. As for his old lady, however: Different story, I'd imagine. But that aspect of things simply ain't within my purview.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2100804/Dad-switches-PORN-instead-The-Smurfs-movie-childs-birthday-party.html