He Got a Ride, All Right -- Straight to the Hoosegow: Florida Man Calls 911 So that Cops Will Call Him a Damn Taxi!

I wonder if cops might have been a little more sympathetic if 55-year-old Michael Barker (pictured immediately above) would have called 911 and said he needed a dentist rather than a taxi. Perhaps not...

As reported this week on legendary website The Smoking Gun, Barker (of Hudson, Florida) apparently really felt he was in need of taxi last weekend -- since he reportedly called 911 over and over again (nearly a dozen times), imploring cops to get on the blower for him and get a cab to his unspecified location out on the street.

Cops say that when they finally located Barker and his cell phone (no word why he couldn't use said phone to call a taxi himself), Barker was -- you guessed it -- preoccupied with talking to 911 yet again to hail him a cab.

But getting in a taxi wasn't the only pressing item on this coot's agenda, it seems. During his various calls to 911, he also reportedly advised cops that he had lost his prized football. Not to mention, he also allegedly gave cops a polite heads up that he "was standing on his head atop a telephone pole."

In fact, however, Barker had not actually clumb up any telephone pole, although it's entirely unclear from the linked story whether he might have actually been positioned upside down when cops found him on the street near a church.

Once Barker got wind that the cops were on his case, he allegedly tried to hide by plastering a blanket over his head (you'd of thunk he'd be asking where the hell his taxi was). But with cops still being able to see the rest of Barker's person even despite the towel subterfuge, cops slapped the ol' cuffs on the deranged taxi patron.

Down at the joint, once cops were finally able to get Barker to pose for an identifiable mugshot (a cop's hands were apparently necessary to help Barker "put his best face forward"), they booked his demented cabbie ass for 911 misuse. I just wonder, when Barker presumably bonds out (his bail's only 150 bucks) -- will cops finally call him that taxi so that he can get home?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/man-calls-911-for-taxi-765912