Tuesday, August 23, 2011
15 Yards for Being Sadder than a Partisan -- Living Vicariously Thru Kids: Indiana Man Allegedly Goes True Blood on Cops at Son's Youth Football Game
It wasn't just any touchdown, after all. Damn it, it was the game-winning touchdown! So naturally you can see why 27-year-old Dejuan Wells might be upset when that touchdown went against his boy's pee-wee football team over the weekend. And Wells wasn't gonna take it all lying down, either! (Allegedly)
First, cops say Wells stormed the field of play to try to get a piece of the game refs who had allowed the touchdown. This is, of course, completely understandable behavior. When one has issues with his/her own self-esteem and self-image, it's only natural to compensate by living through Junior or little Abby in hopes that they might somehow redeem your pathetic ass. So you tend to take sports results and ref calls that go against the kids very personally. Perfectly justified.
But cops say Wells took the typical sad ranting-and-raving sports parent act to a whole new rotten level this time around. In addition to going after the refs, Wells allegedly fought the law as well! And you know who always wins in that equation?
When one cop told Wells to get the hell off the football field or else he'd be arrested, Wells reportedly shouted "You Can't Arrest Me!" and also made a big fist-clenching gesture.
But oh contraire -- they most certainly can arrest you, slimeball. And when the cops tried to do so, Wells allegedly transformed into a Dracula, biting everything in sight in an apparent state of psychotic rage. One cop took a big bite on the arm (pictured above), while another cop nearly got his finger bitten off.
I don't know if one of these cops had some garlic cloves or holy water or what, but they were eventually able to restrain Wells and slap the ol' cuffs on him.
Now Wells may have to rely on secondhand accounts in order to follow his little boy's budding football career, since Wells faces four felony counts and undoubtedly a nice extended bit in the ice house. And given his fleshy culinary tastes (allegedly), I just hope he stays the hell out of those pickup basketball games out in the yard.