So what's the going rate on a hobo's kid? Seems to be $500, although some bums will apparently take bids that can ratchet up that price tag a lot higher. That's what cops in Vancouver, Washington say a homeless hag there tried to pull off down at the local Taco Bell this past week.No word whether 36-year-old Heidi Lynn Knowles (pictured on left) hated the kid or whether she was just really, really hungry. Or both maybe. But cops say the vagabond made a run for her neighborhood Taco Bell and started "taking bids" on the three-day-old baby from the joint's patrons.
The vagrant allegedly opened up the bidding at 500 bucks, but it apparently quickly swelled up to $5,000. However, Knowles was reportedly a bit drunk (NO!) and ended up slinking back to a motel room without finalizing any deal. Too bad, because while Knowles is on welfare and food stamps, that five grand could've undoubtedly come in handy:
"Uh yeah, Mr. Soda Jerk Counter Attendant -- I auctioned off my kid and I got five thousand big ones just burning a hole: Give me 3000 of them there bean burritos, without onions, and a thousand nachos supreme with extra 'maters. And you better break out your Fire Sauce stash."
Anyway, when cops showed up at the dive where this tramp was holed up, she reportedly told them that she "had no idea when her baby was born or who the father was." But she'll likely have plenty of time to regain her memory in the local hoosegow, as cops have hit her with a charge of "child selling" (that's a new one to me) plus a bevy of charges from outstanding warrants. That's one Sad Sack of tacos.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2016713/Heidi-Lynn-Knowles-tried-sell-newborn-son-Taco-Bell-500.html
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Postscript: My first Stupid Crime post in at least a few weeks, and my first Hobo job in even longer. I always return to my bread and butter, i.e. Stupid Crimes, Crazy Stories, and Politics. Oh yeah, and also tits. In this life, what else is there beyond those 4 or so subject matters?
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that someone kind and loving rescues that baby while mom's in the hoosegow - what an absolute shit! How does a hobo get pregnant, like, who's going to want to hit on that?! Oh, the decay of our society...
ReplyDeleteI would guess that a lot of lady hobos do their share of hoeing out on the street to make ends meet. So they could get knocked up by johns. That, or other hobos maybe.
ReplyDeleteOy, I guess you're right....that's a whole new level of desperation if a guy's having to hit up a lady hobo. Makes me shudder.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the streetwalkers are basically homeless hobos. They might shack up here and there in a cheap motel or cheap apartment with a pimp, but mostly they are transient with no place being home for very long.
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