This one's from W-K-R-G in Pen-Sa-Co-La (among other sources):I've heard of celebrating St. Fatty's Day, but this is a little rash, even by the typical standards of 420 observance:
Cops in Pensacola, Florida have launched a full-scale investigation into the whereabouts of a wayward mother after her 8-year-old daughter brought some of mama's marijuana to school this week and gave it to her teacher -- apparently as a damn gift!
Holy Smokes! Just a few days ago, we had that kindergartener packin' heat at a grade school in Houston, and now we've got a third grader packin' paca lolo! What's getting into these rotten little punks? And who the hell is raising them, anyway? Herb Tarlek and Jennifer Marlowe? I gotta say, I'm growing kinda tired of all this packing, town to town, up and down the dial.
At any rate: Cops say this tree-totin' tike whipped the weed right out of her pocket around 2 p.m. Tuesday and gave it to her third grade teacher at Lincoln Park Elementary School.
And that act wasn't without a little color commentary from this La La-lovin' lad: "This is some of my mom's weed," crowed the girl to her teacher!
This Reggie-carrying rug rat just couldn't keep her big Venus Flytrap shut and even offered a little third grade edumacation of her own to the teacher by explaining what the Hog Leg was for: "It's what my mother puts in blunts," said the little punk (in reference to the practice of hollowing out a cigar and cramming combustible herbage inside).
Now, how would you expect ol' teach to react? "Get your ass to the principal's office," maybe? (And I don't care if that office had real walls or not). But not here. The teacher reportedly waited until later in the afternoon "until the child was on the school bus" to report her little "gift" to the principal.
My first question: Did teach head to the Shithouse at any point during those intervening moments between (1) the gift and (2) school bus time? Just sayin'. Kub Coda (and Michael Lutz) wrote "Smokin' in the Boys Room" for a reason, after all. The time sequence here stinks worse than a Silver Sow award on a newsman's mantle.
Regardless, teach's little delay permitted that schwag-schleppin' stripling to make a successful getaway. Nice one, teach! If she'd just reported this thing to the Big Guy right from the Gordon Jump, then Phil the Dog wouldn't be barking. Well -- actually -- cops say the kid isn't facing any charges, so forgetaboutit.
But the Mom! Cops are all over her case like a bandage on Les Nessman. Only problem? They can't find the old lady. They went to her listed Bailey Quarters and found no mom. Apparently mama's lamming it, and cops so far have been unable to get a make on where that jib-jobbing Jackyl (allegedly) is holed up.
Now, neither the punk's nor the mom's name is being released by cops. But if we later learn that the kid's called "Pippi" and that mama goes by the name of Mary Jane Longstocking, let's just say that I ain't gonna be shocked over here.
Finally, I'm not big on lecturing people (other than slimeball partisans and politicians), so I'll let the cops do it for me. Said local sheriff's deputy Chril Welborn:
"A good many societal problems are a result of irresponsible parenting. Children are being raised in an atmosphere that drugs and violence are normal. It's sad that this child had access to the stuff and was actually able to bring it to school."
What he said. Hell Yeah, says Rev Theory. Couldn't have said it better if he was Andy Travis.
http://www.wkrg.com/education/article/third-grader-brings-marijuana-to-school/1206332/Apr-20-2011_3-34-pm/
http://www.pnj.com/article/20110420/NEWS01/110420034/Girl-8-brings-mom-s-marijuana-school?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE%7Cp
http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/21/2178854/student-gives-teacher-some-of.html
Posts
