Is the world ending even in advance of December 2012? Nevermind Japanese earthquakes and tsunamis, America waging war in Libya, and the unrest throughout the Middle East. Nope, much closer to home this week (and all caught on tape -- see below), we've got wild bikini burger bruiser brawls in Florida and a crazy spaghetti incident aboard a New York City subway -- a place that just seems to get weirder by the minute!:
"Damn, These Folks Are Slow!"
Those were the impatient words of 31-year-old bikini-clad Kimesa Smith as she waited inside a Florida Burger King for a Whopper Jr. and fries. Calling herself a "first time spring breaker," Smith says she just wanted to get some food down her piehole before engaging in a night of boozin'. But the grub was taking forever, not to mention that the employees didn't have "no smiles on their faces." So Smith starting arguing with employees, and that's when all hell broke loose!
Smith next leapt atop the burger joint's front counter and went hardcore like "Original Gangsta" New Jack at the ECW Arena! Looks like she was up there "shaking her ass like a salt shaker" (to quote the immortal words of one MC Ren/NWA), as she first tossed her sack of food in the direction of the workers.
She then grabbed a huge plastic charity jug full of coins and flung it at them. Smith also threw a another customer's soft drink at them and, just for good measure, started yanking on the manager's hair! Several of her friends also joined in. "We tore the Burger King up. I don't play no games," she spewed in broken English.
Smith's "antics" quickly drew the attention of some cops, who tried to slap the ol' cuffs on her. "Take your damn hands off me, you can't touch me," she barked at them. But Smith had a more thoughtful take on the entire event in an interview afterwards. Now facing a misdemeanor battery charge and possible time in a different kind of joint, Smith observed, "If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've gone to Taco Bell."
The Spaghetti Incident
Much like Kimesa Smith, the young lady just wanted to get her grub on as she rode the New York City subway. But they just couldn't let her pound down her messy meal in peace! From across the aisle, another woman shouts, "What kind of animals eat on the train!?" And the pasta business only picked up from there!
The noodle munchin' lady wasn't gonna have any of that! "You fat BITCH!", she yelled back. The two then got in each other's faces, prompting each to exclaim (predictably) "get out of my face" to the other. Then the pasta poundin' lady got all worked up and proceeded to toss her takeout meal right at the other woman! The fisticuffs ensued from there before this sorry scene was finally broken up by onlookers.
This spaghetti incident has reportedly sparked a gigantic debate this week in New York concerning proper subway etiquette (isn't that a contradiction of terms?) and whether all eating should be banned on the trains. It's also highlighted for the world to see just how oddball things have become in and around the Big Apple's subway system:
Subway Insanity
The linked AP story details how the great spaghetti incident is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to subway silliness. For one thing, New Yorkers are apparently obsessed with subway etiquette issues:
One dude put up a bunch of "official-looking" fake signs in the subway purporting to prohibit various forms of conduct that he felt inappropriate on the trains, including (1) nail clipping ("The sound is incredibly annoying and the nail bits go flying all over the place") and (2) nose-picking ("Keep your finger out of your nose"). I have to say that while the former sign seems rather trivial, the latter one I think I could probably endorse.
Another subway traveler, while pregnant, took to keeping count of "how many times fellow commuters offered her a seat on eight [of the city's] subway lines." Her research culminated in a series of rudimentary "pie charts" that she posted online to reflect her findings -- ranking the different subway lines from best to worst in terms of their seat-offering propensities. Only wish I had so much free time on my hands as these New Yorkers!
And it ain't just the etiquette police who are going ape$hit down there in the subway system. Just in putting together this story, the AP observes that it witnessed the following odd assortment of characters inhabiting the space in and around one of the city's subway lines:
(1) A man approaching the train "while baaing like a sheep"; (2) a woman "in a huge, fur-lined parka hissing at two large rats on a platform"; and last, but not least, (3) a pair of old codgers "belting out 'Papa Was a Rolling Stone' at triple its normal speed."
It may be the "City That Never Sleeps," but methinks a few of the locals may need to be put to sleep. That may be the most humane thing to do.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/meet-panama-city-bk-brawler-653092
http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110324/new-york-subway-spaghetti-debate-110324/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367706/Women-fight-subway-spaghetti.html#
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