The 34-year-old tramp (pictured on left) would "hang around in the woods" behind the Mariner's Cove old folks home near Fort Myers. And being a hobo, Joshua Abernathy had just the sort of needs you might expect: An occasional shower; some grub to eat; some napkins to wrap up the eats; and some first aid supplies in case a varmint bit him out in those woods.And what better place to fill that little shopping list than the neighboring old folks home? But apparently this bum didn't considering clothing to be a big enough "bare" necessity to include on his list! (Links to the full story at bottom).
Cops say Abernathy recently entered the home's clubhouse "in the dead of the night" through an unlocked sliding glass door. He reportedly came in wearing nothing but shorts, and he quickly ditched his britches and hit the building's "slop room" for a quick shower.
Then the vagrant allegedly streaked through the clubhouse, buck naked, looking to get his grub on! He came upon the building's refrigerator, and Bingo! Breakfast sausage! And before making his "cheeky getaway" with said sausage, cops say this "brazen burglar" also snagged some napkins and a first-aid kit for good measure.
But unfortunately for this "naked sausage stealer," he "flashed more than just a smile" to the joint's security camera, which caught Abernathy on tape "prancing around in his birthday suit" as he pulled off the "sausage heist" (allegedly). "He walked around in here like it was his own living room," said one resident afterward.
When the hungry old folks discovered the sausage swipe the next morning, they immediately went to the video and "discovered the naked truth." Exclaimed one resident: "He don't have any clothes on!"
But reportedly, "residents at the retirement community turned the other cheek": According to one, "when you get to 55-plus you don't get a whole of excitement, so this is great!"
Now Abernathy is probably going to have to do his naked sausage prancing inside of a cell at the local freezer: "Abernathy was arrested and will appear in court – fully clothed – charged with two counts of burglary and one of petty theft."
And this wasn't the hobo's first incident inside of an old folks home. He was charged with burglary and grand theft at another home last year. That time, cops say, he boosted some beer and a bicycle. Maybe he used that to ride to his new digs in the forest? Regardless, "it's unknown whether he was nude for that earlier break-in as well."
Finally, the Mariner's Cove is looking into preventative measures to stop anything like this from ever occurring again. Said one resident, "We don't have a rule against streaking in the clubhouse, and we might have to add that."
http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpps/news/weird/021811-naked-senior-caught-stealing-sausage_11946850#
http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/national/man-seen-on-camera-taking-sausages-in-the-nude-kshb1298052661977
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local-beat/Naked-Sausage-Stealer-Caught-on-Tape-116468018.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1358477/The-Naked-Theft-cheeky-sausage-burglar-caught-CCTV-streaking-retirement-home.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
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