Thursday, July 29, 2010

Major League Monstrosity: Ma'am, How About Some Nice Cockroach Bits and Rat Droppings With Your Hot Dog and Frozen Margarita?

ESPN has gathered together public health code violation reports for professional sports stadiums and arenas across the country, and the results are frightening. Taking a look at a few of the worst violators, I think it safe to say that you don't want to be attending too many games in Washington DC, Miami or Tampa Bay anytime soon.

One of the worst venues was Sun-Life Stadium, home of the Miami Dolphins and Florida Marlins. In addition to 93% of that stadium's vendors having "critical" health code violations, there was also an anonymous employee report that they were blending insects into the frozen alcoholic beverages. What, were they thinking fans would get so buzzed off the alcohol that the insect content would be overlooked?

As it turns out, when inspectors went to check out the implicated drink machine, they didn't find any insects inside per se, but instead found some unspecified form of "slime." You know, I think I'd prefer the insects because at least they're a known commodity.

Even worse offending venues came in the form of Tropicana Field (Tampa Bay Rays) and Verizon Center (Washington Wizards & Capitals). At those joints, a whopping 100% of the food vendors had "critical" health code violations. And just for good measure, DC's Verizon Center had appetizing mouse droppings found at at least ten vendors.

Gosh. Nothing like dropping 20 bucks on a tiny hot dog and a little drink, only to have the screw-job ratcheted up even higher through insect additives, rat $hit and grossly unsanitary food preparation conditions. Those franchises (and/or whomever the hell owns those stadiums and arenas) should absolutely be ashamed of themselves. And I think I'm going to be stickin' with bottled water and bottled soda -- and no food -- at just about any sporting event that I attend in the foreseeable future. Nasty, nasty stuff right there.