Episode 8 (Season 1 Finale) Tonight of "What Chilli Wants" on VH1: Will It Be Bill or Farmer D? Or Neither One?!

Episode Nutshell: In the final episode of Season 1, as a part of Tionna's "Project Intimacy," Chilli goes on overnight dates with the two men who've really garnered her interest -- Bill (the pretty boy white guy, second picture above) and Farmer D (Daron Joffe) (the dude on the tractor, third picture above). And only one emerges and survives as Chilli's real interest going forward into the future.

Segment 1: With the series winding down, and Tionna preparing to head back home to Brooklyn, Tionna and Chilli, along with T-Boz, head to Intimacy Lingerie Shop to pick out a going away present for Tionna. T-Boz tells an Intimacy sales associate, "We have some gigantical breasts to fit, and I know you guys custom." Tionna is then shown shakin' her stuff as she tries on Intimacy bras for Chilli and T-Boz to see. The conversation then turns to Bill and Farmer D, with Chilli and Tionna agreeing that Chilli can't go wrong with either of them. Tionna says that the goal of Project Intimacy is to get business pickin' up for Chilli, who likes to take things very slow with guys. For example, the first kiss is a huge moment for Chilli, and she likes to take her time before allowing it to occur. Chilli comments that "even Tionna does not kiss early." Tionna admits this, saying that she's "not a kisser period," but she also says that she does like to give guys a little taste just to wet their beak prior to that first true romantic interlude. Says Tionna, that may consist of giving the man a little "flash" of her big boobs or even a smack up side the face with one of them, just to let the dude know that things will be pickin' up soon.

Next, Tionna separately meets up with Bill and Farmer D, helping them prepare for their overnight dates with Chilli. Bill is looking to pick out a dress for Chilli, while Farmer D is going to cook a meal for her. Tionna tells Bill that while he's very funny and nice, he really needs to "knuckle down" for this date and get romantic and close to Chilli. Tionna tells Farmer D that he tends to be reserved and that he needs to get more aggressive. She also notes that Farmer D is not exactly the biggest talker in the world, and so she suggests that he write down his feelings about Chilli and read those to her during their date.

Then Bill & Chilli's overnight is ON! Bill takes Chilli to a rental home in the countryside during the day. They have a nice horse ride around the estate, and Chilli says that she likes how she can joke and have fun with Bill all day long. They then lunch in the brick shell of what appears to be a former farmhouse. Bill tells her, "I just want to make you smile," and he gives her the red dress that he picked out with Tionna's input. They share a hug and Chilli feels that they "had a great day" (as we see Chilli carrying Bill on her back as they clown around in a field). And now it's on to the evening...

Segment 2: Chilli and Bill sit down at a restaurant for dinner. Chilli is wearing the red dress, and Bill says that he's "speechless" at the sight. After dinner, back at the house, they sit together on the couch in front of a fire, where the romantic embers start smoldering. Chilli tells Bill that "you have been so sweet and have really sparked my interest." Bill then gets down to brass tacks, telling Chilli to "look in my eyes." "One small request," Bill says, "I would like to kiss you." (My comment here: DUDE, never ask permission -- If the time feels right, then lean on in there and start smoochin'!) Chilli reacts by saying, "I love to kiss, but I would like to make sure." She says that she wants to get to know him just a bit better and observes how she always likes to take things slow. Bill seems to really respect and understand that, and the two share a big hug as the last scene that we see from their date.

Then Farmer D's up to the plate: Farmer D and Chilli also start their date with a daytime opening salvo, this time at the Fernbank Museum. Chilli comments off camera that "there's something special about Farmer D," and that she "can't ignore that." And this is important: She also notes their prior "spirituality issues," i.e. the fact that her Christian faith is at the center of Chilli's being, while that's simply not the case for D. Anyway, near the end of their time at the museum, the two stand atop a high balcony, where Chilli (and this is very close to my heart, because I'm exactly the same) tells him that she's afraid of heights. She says that as long as she looks down at the floor, she's fine, but that once she looks straight ahead, that fear kicks in. (In that regard, she and I are different, because if I'm at heights, the last thing I want to do is look down, or look anywhere for that matter -- asks the folks with me when I actually mustered up the nerve to cross the Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado -- but I digress). Chilli comments that D really has her "feeling some kind of way," is really steppin' up his game, and that she's very looking forward to the night time portion of their date.

Segment 3: To the Night with Farmer D: D's also commandeered a house for the occasion. He starts in cookin' them dinner, which is very impressive to Chilli, who finds a man in the kitchen to be very sexy. Off camera, Chilli compares and contrasts Bill and Farmer D, calling Bill very straightfoward, while D's more reserved and mysterious. They sit down for dinner, and D gives Chilli a present, which appears to be an organic variety of lip balm or lipstick (a product which, truth be told, I had no idea one could buy in an organic version!). Farmer D then trots out his written expression of his feelings towards Chilli (meaning he took Tionna's advice earlier in the episode). He reads it, and it emphasizes how beautiful of a person, inside and out, that D views Chilli to be. It also thanks her for sharing that beauty with D. My impression of Chilli's reaction to D's words is that she was absolutely melted thereby. As soon as D is done reading, Chilli immediately lunges to him to kiss him on the cheek.

After dinner, Chilli and D engage in a prolonged session of I guess what I would call, "Which One Is It," asking each other various either/or questions such as "Poor in Love, or Rich & Not," "Long & Skinny or Short & Fat," and "Back Rub or Foot Massage". On the latter question, Chilli chooses back rub, and D immediately gets to work ("I've got those Farmer hands," he spouts). "Not too hard, not too soft," Chilli implores, and D does an impressive job. "That felt good" is the Chilli verdict. The very romantic moments just keep rollin' from there, with Chilli telling D that he's "so cute," followed by her jostling his hair. Then Chilli tells D, "there is something so special and beautiful about your spirit -- I really, really like it." D asks her if there comes a moment when she signals to a man that he's become her exclusive man, and Chilli says it's the first kiss. Next, Chilli & D are in the kitchen, standing face to face with both of their faces afire. D tells her that he'd like to give her a kiss goodnight, but unlike Bill, he doesn't wait for a response and just goes for it. Chilli is receptive, but tilts her head ever so slightly so that another cheek kiss is the result. Says Chilli, "We'll save the lips for a later time. You don't mind, do you?" Farmer D doesn't mind and tells her that it's cool. They then have a big hug, and that's the last we see of their date.

Going into the final segment, here were my views: That both Farmer D and Bill were both still very much in the game. Both had very successful overnight dates with Chilli, and I fully expected both to be carried forward into Season 2 of What Chilli Wants. Further, it was my very distinct impression that while the Bill date went well, the real feelings and real romantic fireworks were much more present in the Farmer D date. In short, the Bill date went great, but you could really feel something from the D date. With those thoughts in mind, flash forward to the outcome...

Final segment: Chilli & Tionna are in the ATL, preparing for Tionna's departure back to the Big Apple and back to Tionna's man. Ironically, Tionna and Chilli discuss how, over the course of this series, Chilli's notorious Chilli Checklist (of attributes that any man of Chilli's must possess) has been very much reduced in size. Chilli says that she's realized that the most important things on her checklist are that the man be family-oriented, loving, into kids, and be a great person. Note: I didn't hear any mention of religion or spirituality on that new short list.

So Chilli & Tionna get down to the Bottom Line, i.e. whether she feels that either Bill or Farmer D might have the potential to be Chilli's husband and a permanent mate. Chilli tells Tionna that there is "a guy" with whom she really "has a connection." Chilli then reveals that such guy is Bill! Tionna starts doing handstands (well, I'm exaggerating there, but she is very happy) since this means that Tionna's matchmaking role has ultimately been successful because Chilli has met someone who purportedly might be her new serious man. Chilli then proclaims the series to be a success. She and Tionna next profess their girlfriend love for each other, and Tionna goes on her way. In the closing credits, new scenes are shown of Chilli meeting up again with Bill and again allowing him to kiss her on the cheek. END OF SEASON 1.

Final observations: Throughout my coverage of this series, I have been very even-handed, just reporting the black-and-white (no pun intended) letter of what's occurred on this series, with very little commentary. But not tonight. Sorry, but I'm just not buying this outcome. In my opinion, Chilli very much stringently applied her checklist to these two dudes, and since Bill ruffled no feathers on that list (purporting to be a very devout Christian), and since Farmer D honestly told Chilli that he just hasn't developed that level of connection to the Christian faith, Chilli went the Checklist-safe route of siding with the dude who more met the strict Checklist definition. Nevermind that it seemed obvious that Farmer D got Chilli's fire burning a fair amount hotter than Bill did.

Bottom line: I think Chilli went the way that she felt to be the safe route. So much for following her heart just as much as she follows her head. But alas, these are just my humble observations: It's Chilli's life, and I hope she and Bill truly do work out, because despite the checklist, I've found both Chilli and Tionna during the course of this series to both be very personable and genuine folks (so much unlike what you typically see on these reality series). My only last parting shot to Chilli: Keep Farmer D in the game in Season 2! There's no reason why he shouldn't still be in the game!

Future Content Note: Be sure to return to this blog for not only a weekly episode recap of What Chilli Wants Season 2 (whenever Season 2 airs), but also be sure to check out my weekly episode recaps of the hot new VH1 reality series You're Cut Off, starting June 9! Should be fun, as always.