(If you're not familiar with this show, try this primer: http://independentrage.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-reality-show-what-chilli-wants.html)Bottom line nutshell: Tonight Tionna Smalls (pictured immediately above) interviews a bunch of men, applies the Chilli Checklist, and makes her best effort to match up Chilli (first pictured above) with a guy -- but the results simply do not work. But alas, it really is a lot more complex than that:
Segment 1 (the longest and most loaded segment of the episode): Tionna, in an effort to get Chilli "out of her safety zone," has Chilli throw out the first pitch at an Atlanta Braves game, and then has the PA announcer say that anyone who might be interested in dating Chilli should head to a certain luxury box. Little do the responding dudes know that visiting such box puts them face-to-face with Tionna for a good old-fashioned grilling. And as you might expect, Tionna was on a roll! Her questions to the dudes included (keep in mind that she was simply trying to apply the Chilli Checklist): "Are you well endowed?"; "Have you ever done porn before?"; "Are you a citizen?"; "How you like fake hair?". Funniest thing in this segment: Tionna asks some dude to divulge the funkiest thing he's ever done. His response: "Having sex in a dumpster." Classic. Sorry, that gets me rolling over here! Tionna also comments, "you're 6-3? 6-3 is sexy -- I like it." (I just mention that b/c The Independent Rage is 6-3, and so I thought that was cool). So let's get down to brass tacks: Finally, Tionna interviews this dude named Dolvette or Dalvette (they didn't put the spelling on the screen, and so I'm just doing my best phonetically -- I'll go with Dolvette). He meets a lot of Chilli's criteria from her Checklist (Tionna describes him as a "good piece of chocolate man"), and so Tionna sends him on to meet Chilli.
Segment 1 Endgame: So Dolvette heads up to meet Chilli and several of Chilli's old friends (in a different luxury box). Chilli and friends don't like the dude from the beginning. Chilli comments that he's not her type and that it seems like Tionna served him up like "meat on a platter." Tionna is shocked and frankly a bit put off by the very quick dismissals of Chilli and her friends. Says Tionna, "Trying to come at me! But I'm from Brooklyn. I don't play that!"
Segment 2: This was a real short segment in which Chilli's "so far just friends" dude Floyd Mayweather (yes, the great boxer) is apparently in The ATL and takes Chilli out rollerskating. Tionna describes Floyd as "Chilli's comfort", which I think is a great description since I think Chilli views him as being attractive, a fellow celebrity, and someone she gets along with -- nevermind that he seems most interested in just keeping their relationship at friends. So anyway, nothing overly romantic occurs, and Chilli and Floyd resolve to meet up in Vegas (where Floyd lives) when TLC performs an upcoming show there.
Segment 3: Despite her negative first impression, Chilli goes on a date with Dolvette. This thing runs off the tracks from the beginning, with Chilli being turned off at every turn. First, Chilli is turned off by the fact that he doesn't talk to his son (over whom he doesn't have primary custody) on a daily basis. Second, Chilli is turned off by his alleged "1-900" voice. Third, dude pushes her against her will to participate in this high-off-the-ground outdoor thing. HERE, as a dude (just like Chilli) whose primary fear in the world is a fear of heights, I totally agree with Chilli: Dude should have layed the hell off when she expressed how uncomfortable she was with this situation. But he just kept pushing. Chilli really has a point on that one. Fourth, dude started talking about seeing Chilli's son Tron and called him by his short name ("T"), which was also very off-putting to Chilli since he's never met the young man. After the date, Chilli said that she will not go on another date with Dolvette again, that she found him to be egotistical, that she's adding "no egos" to her Chilli Checklist, and that she officially "enjoyed not one moment of that."
Final Segment: Dolvette has a similar take on the date with Chilli: He says it was one the hardest dates of his life and that Chilli was "guarded, defensive, and judgmental." Then Chilli invites Tionna over to meet up with Chilli's friends again (since the meeting at the Braves' stadium didn't go so well). Chilli promptly rolls in a muscle-bound male stripper known as Luscious. Chilli indicated that Luscious was her kind of guy, but Tionna was the one who really enjoyed him -- "Lord Have Mercy!" and "He went and picked my big ass up!". Actually, that was the second-funniest moment in the episode, as this stripper raises Tionna up the air on his shoulders as she plasters dollar bills all over his cranium! The episode ends after the stripper party, with Chilli admitting that, "Yeah, I could see myself with Floyd."
Upcoming episodes: Chilli goes on a second date with Christian "Chris" Harrington (frankly, I thought it was a bit of a mistake to not have anything about that dude in the Second Episode after he and Chilli had such an obvious connection in Episode 1). Plus Chilli performs with TLC in Vegas and meets up again with Floyd.
Final impressions: I don't think there should be any animosity or distrust between Chilli and Tionna as a result of the events of this episode. Tionna did her best to apply the Chilli Checklist and send a dude Chilli's way. The dude did not work out. Well guess what, in the dating world, most people don't work out! So both of them need to just to move on to the endeavor of looking for the next guy for Chilli. Move on to the next one!
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