61-year-old Michael Moore has a simple story (link below). He says he was downing some brews at home recently when the old lady jumped his ass for drinking too much. So he gots in his car to heads to a bar, but not before he says he tried to "drive it off" (his buzz) on the way there. Cops stopped Moore for speeding and hauled him to the hoosegow for DUI.
So this story makes the Net rounds as just another "dumb crime" committed in the U.S., but methinks there's a certain clarity of logic to our plastered perpetrator's explanation. Follow me here:
-The old lady's giving Moore the business for boozin' it up again, so he decides he better sober his ass up. Ever the obedient old man, this guy.
-What better way to sober up than to place oneself in a location where there's no alcohol to tempt? Moore needed to get out the joint and find a dry spot. Which he did. Behind the wheel.
-I'm assuming the night was still young, and Moore didn't want to fall asleep. So instead of just sitting in the car like a sloth, Moore gets that ride a' rollin' to try to "drive it off" -- just like wifey wanted.
-But since he can't exactly get his drink on back at home after sobering up, he needed an end destination that (1) brings the wet and (2) won't bust his balls for liquoring the hell back up. Only one joint fits that two-pronged billing: The local bar, obviously.
All this makes a certain ounce of sense. At least I presume to a drunk. My only suggestion to Moore for the next time: Drive if off in a cab on the way to the bar. And yes -- in a passenger seat preferably.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/florida-man-busted-dui-thought-driving-sober-cops-article-1.1712595
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