Cops in Miami say 41-year-old plastic surgeon Dr. Orlando Llorente (above) didn't take it so well earlier this month after his 36-year-old girlfriend Leanne Sauma (also above) went on the Facebook. The good doctor allegedly went medieval on her ass, subjecting the cute little number to a waterboarding session like she was a Bush detainee or something, as well as "stuffing her head down a toilet" for good measure.
And if that's how dude reacts to the Facebook, I can only imagine the royal treatment that Sauma might get for a whole host of garden-variety daily activities. Must suck to be her. To wit:
- Send an email, take a lance through the torso.
- Use the Twitter, enjoy a two-hour stretch on the torture rack.
- Make a phone call, bathe in bottom of a Georgia shithouse.
- Flip on the tube, get spayed or neutered.
- Look out the window, take in a 10-minute Obama speech.
- Open your piehole, hang by your assey nipples from a light fixture.
- Leave the house, wear porkchop suit in a pit bull kennel.
- Operate a motor vehicle, lose a teet and two digits.
- Answer the doorbell, 2000 volts right up the ol' tailpipe.
Now if I was Doc's old lady, I'm telling ya -- I wouldn't be looking out at that damn window for all the money in Al Gore's bank account. Shock me or rack me if you must, but anything but that.
http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21010574172270/police-plastic-surgeon-tortured-ex-girlfriend-over-facebook-posting/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2321945/Dr-Orlando-Llorente-Florida-plastic-surgeon-waterboards-mistress-stuffs-head-toilet-Facebook-post.html
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