Thursday, August 9, 2012

"I Get Up Around Whenever": Polling Place Pandemonium in the Motor City as "Polls Open Late After Official Oversleeps" and THEN Voters Get a Good Frisking Before Being Allowed to Vote!



Who was supposed to open this joint up, anyway, Mr. Brownstone?  They should've known from the old song that he used to get up around seven but no longer gets up on time.  But obviously, a little tardiness at an event can always be made up for with some gratuitous pat-downs, free of charge...

You know, while I very rarely vote for a member of the democrat party or republic partisan party, I do almost always vote. So remind me to stear clear of the Henry Ford High School neighborhood in Detroit.  Because casting a ballot there seems to be a tougher chore than navigating a shark tank with a load of hog jowls and chump-chops strapped all across your ass.

Of course, it's a bit difficult to cast a ballot in the first place if the joint has a big chain and lock on the front door.  But for Tuesday's Detroit elections, "the person who was supposed to open the school reportedly didn't wake up in time to open the doors when polls opened at 7 p.m." (links at bottom; picture of the frenzied scene immediately above).

And after they finally got that door unlocked later in the morning, one poll worker apparently felt the need to conduct a little impromptu security detail on the ol' voters.  After all, packin' heat down at the polling place is one of America's most time-honored traditions.  You can't be too careful.

So, in particular, "some voters were patted down as they entered" the school, just to be safe. Confirmed one of the locals: "There was indeed an individual who was frisking individuals and winding down for weapons." 

But I do personally find all of this to be very instructive in advance of the November elections. Since Detroit shows that you "just never never know," I'm going to be sure to sleep 'til noon on November 6 and leave my stiletto and sidearm at home.  Takin' no chances over here! This Independent will not be disenfranchised.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYDnQwi3OQ
http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2012/08/07/polling-problems-doors-closed-voters-frisked-in-detroit/