Monday, June 18, 2012
Burnt Out: Lightbulb Eating Circus Freak Nabbed After a String of Mostly Unsuccessful Bank Jobs in the Big Apple!
Just look at this freak (pictured at top and below). He holds some sort of world record for quickest consumption of a light bulb (33.86 seconds). He swallows swords. He can be seen on YouTube spiking a damn bike spoke through his bicep. And he was recently auditioning for a gig at the Coney Island Freak Show. He had it all. But now he's thrown it all away faster than a big batch of incandescent light bulbs at the White House...
He's 22-year-old R.J. Williams, and cops in NYC say they've finally nailed this freak after a mostly bungled run of some 11 bank jobs over the past few months (netting the freak a rather putrid score of only $14,000 total) (link at bottom). This freak's latest crazy caper allegedly involved him trying to knock over a Brooklyn bank that he had just tried to rob unsuccessfully the previous week!
Not such a bright move for the bulb eater, as cops say bank workers quickly recognized this sideshow freak and scared him off. A few workers followed the freak around the corner, where Mr. Edison's big getaway plan was reportedly to pull a fast one by changing his shirt!
And like most circus freaks, some balls on this one: New shirt in tow, he allegedly next sashayed his way right past a couple of street cops as if no one would be the wiser. "He appeared to be texting -- this guy came walking straight past us," one of the cops told the New York Post.
Never ones to look a gift freak in the mouth, cops tossed this freak's bulb-eatin' behind in the can -- where's he gonna have to change his diet: "I don't think they serve 60-watt bulbs as prison food in Rikers," crowed another cop. But a shank through the shoulder, methinks they can muster up. Keep an eye on YouTube.