Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Breastfeeding Your Brat Out in Public: OK. Breaking Into a Home to Breastfeed Someone Else's Kid (Allegedly): Not So OK...
This has to be a new one in the annals of American criminal conduct: Wet Nursing Without Consent (allegedly). But that's exactly what cops in Brookings, South Dakota say happened last weekend. And for some strange unknown reason, cops think alcohol just may have been involved...
The 24-year-old suspect allegedly got an early start on her Sunday breastfeeding, forcing her way into a another mom's home (a stranger) around 5:00 a.m. to give some suck to someone -- anyone, apparently. Cops say this lactating lush intruder promptly scooped up the resident mom's two-month-old tike and started to give the little shit a damn breastfeeding!
When mama discovered this sorry sight, she reportedly called 911 and retrieved her tot from the wayward breastfeeding boozer burgle broad (allegedly). But the gratuitous breastfeeding apparently left this uninvited topless toper tata-feeder quite exhausted, as the intruder allegedly laid down to take a freakin' nap right there in the joint instead of hoofin' her hooters out the scene of the alleged crime!
And there she laid as the cops arrived, who slapped the "rogue lactating lady" with a criminal charge of unlawful occupancy. I just hope that's a misdemeanor charge, since I'd assume that getting one's drink (and breast suck) on down at the hoosegow is somewhat frowned upon.