Sunday, December 25, 2011
Scary Christmas: Fake San Fran Doctor Allegedly Performs Cheap Liposuction While Puffing on a Cigar, Then Tosses the Fat Right Down the Shitter!
At first blush, a guy like this might seem like a Christmas angel, what with him offering women cheap liposuctions for far below the going rate. But turns out he's little more than a nicotine fiend charlatan Grinch who also leaves a lot to be desired in the tissue disposal department (allegedly)...
Cops in San Fransisco say 49-year-old Carlos Guzman was operating his own local dermatology joint called the "Derma Clinic." Only problem? No medical license (leastways if you're the kind of person who views that to be a problem). I mean, this Frisco fruitloop was more phony than a San Fran Nan Pelosi sound bite (allegedly).
Guzman allegedly got around that little non-licensure hitch by assuming the identity of a local doctor who had a similar name. And when he allegedly told a local woman that he could do her a liposuction for peanuts, that was apparently an offer the broad just could not refuse.
And this Guzman was definitely what you might call a full-service provider (if only he had a license): On surgery day, he actually picked up this lady at her home and drove her down to the ol' Derma Clinic.
Once he was ready to get rolling, Guzman allegedly lit up a big cigar, which he proceeded to smoke right there in the damn operating room during the course of the surgery!
And this cigar-chompin' quack was apparently very cognizant of not being discovered, since why else would he make the shrewd move of taking the woman's removed fat back to HER house in order to dispose of it?
That's right -- Guzman allegedly showed up at the dame's house the next day, headed straight for the Shithouse, and flushed around six pounds of cellulite right down her crapper!
As I suppose it tends to go with these unlicensed physicians, the woman says the liposuction was botched, forcing her to seek corrective surgery. For good measure, this sloppy cigar sawbones also allegedly gave the woman's daughter an acne treatment "with a series of injections of an unknown substance in her face." I just hope it wasn't cigar ashes.
Now Guzman may have to do his doctorin' down in the hoosegow for some time to come, as he faces a bevy of felony charges. And given the correctional community's recent intolerance towards tobacco use in the joint, methinks this Guzman better smoke 'em now if he gots 'em.