Saturday, November 19, 2011

Even Dumber Than a D-1 Football Coach Busted for DWI: Driving Hammered While Wearing an "I'm a Drunk" T-Shirt!



I'd be hard-pressed to argue with anyone calling University of Eastern Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel an idiot for his much-publicized DWI arrest this week (mugshot immediately above). The "remarkable" one makes millions of bucks a year. Call a damn cab or line up a freakin' limo already! But out of New York this week, an even more moronic creature...

Cops there say 22-year-old Kevin Daly (pictured at the top) drove drunk this week, and all he got was that dumbass T-shirt to show for it. This lunatic lush got his big night started by first allegedly bashing his ride into a cop car on a drunk driving patrol around two in the morning.

Of course, if one gets behind the wheel all pie-eyed, then there are certain things you look to avoid in order not to draw unwarranted attention to yourself out there on the highway. First, you should always do your best not to barrel your car into the side of an occupied police cruiser. That tends to garner the cops' attention more times than not.

And if your hammered hide must go demolition derby on your city's finest, then make sure not to couple that course of action with any outward signs that you may be sloshed. Such as: A loud T-shirt saying, "I'm Not an Alcoholic. I'm a Drunk. Alcoholics Go to Meetings."

If only this deranged drunkard Daley had consulted with me before hittin' the road that night. But as it stands, cops arrested Daley "wearing a shirt saying he's a drunk" after the blitzed boozer brought his blitzkrieg down on the cop car (allegedly).

Now this soaked strange brew may have to stitch up his next T-shirt in the con garment shop at the local hoosegow, as cops have busted his well-oiled ass on DWI charges and "multiple traffic summonses."

But, on the bright side, the only "meetings" he'll have to worry about there are the impromptu variety that go down from time to time in the community shower. "Thanks for sharing," they say at the end of those.