Hot Cross Bum: Hobo Allegedly Attacks Woman Twice Her Age with Giant Weiner!

These are rough times in Obama's America, and the last thing we need to be doing these days is wasting food by using it as a weapon of attack. I just hope 31-year-old hobo Tajuana Banks of Des Moines now gets that message (allegedly).

Cops say the homeless tramp Banks makes a habit of showing up at the digs of 63-year-old Connie Jones and trying to get the older woman to throw down in a cat fight. And it was deja vu all over again this week when this brawlin' bum allegedly started giving Jones the business as usual by "yelling profanities at Jones in an attempt to get her to fight."

But this time was different. Very different. The fightin' floater upped the ol' ante and then some (allegedly). Some pickles and onions on this bindlestiff babe! To wit:

When Jones "kept her cool and refused to fight," the nasty nomad Jones allegedly grabbed a big bratwurst and tried to get the fight started all by herself. Cops say the vicious vagrant clocked Jones right in the chest with the sizable sausage and provided not so much as even a small side of coleslaw or sauerkraut to go with.
And it ain't just a case of Jones' weenie word against that of the wandering witch. No Sir-ee Bob. That's because even if Jones' account by itself can't cut the mustard on the big bratwurst, the cops have documented physical evidence: "Grease marks on Jones' clothing."

When cops showed up and busted the dreadful drifter, she allegedly said that she'd relish the opportunity to pull another bratwurst job on the elder Jones. Specifically, "Banks yelled that she would do it again if provided the opportunity."

Now Banks may have to wield her ballpark franks from the inside of the local hoosegow, as cops have charged her with assault. No word on whatever happened to the brat itself. But to the extent that Banks lathered up that link with horsey sauce and gobbled it down after the alleged attack, then I'd think that an additional charge of spoliation of evidence might also be in the weiner works.

http://www.kcci.com/r/28669641/detail.html