I was very amused to read over the past day that Weiner's decision not to resign from Congress was reportedly driven by little more than poll numbers (a majority of people in his New York congressional district want Anthony's Weiner to stick around). So never mind what the right or wrong decision might be -- let's just look at the polling data!But Hold On to Anthony's Weiner for a Second
But alas! There may be more at play here for Anthony's Weiner. That's right, more than meets the one-eyed Willie. The New York Post reports today that Anthony's Weiner, simply put, "can't afford to quit the DC day job."
Equally simply put, Anthony's Weiner just doesn't have the background or skill set to be much of anything except a politician (or -- maybe -- a porn star). Says The Post, "unlike many of his peers in the House, Weiner doesn't have a business or even a law degree to fall back on."
Anthony's Weiner Ain't Exactly What You'd Call a Going Concern
The 46-year-old Anthony's Weiner made $156,000 in 2010. That isn't a bad salary here in middle America, but it barely tops the weiner with mustard if you're going to live in such pricey locales as Washington DC or the Big Apple.
And The Post reports that "according to his most recent financial-disclosure forms," Anthony's Weiner is carrying at least 10 or 15 grand in American Express credit card debt -- so that's an additional several hundred he has to come up with every month (sort of like a shylock's vig) just to make a minimum payment.
Bottom line: Doubt dude wants or could afford to have any period of unemployment. Weiner needs to keep earning that Jack-in-the-Box. It's not like Anthony's Weiner can just wave his magic wand and make dead presidents appear.
Other Opportunities for Anthony's Weiner Are Shriveling Up Faster Than a Tallywhacker Police Lineup on Porky's
Even though he couldn't afford it, Anthony's Weiner would probably be staring at an unemployment period if he just "up" and quit Congress. As The Post notes, "with Weiner's reputation in ruins, other lucrative jobs may be hard to get."
What about the financial sector? Looks like nothin' doing. "He would most likely have to go to friends in the business sector, but he doesn't have a financial background," observed a political consultant named Joseph Mercurio.
What about the regular appearances of Anthony's Weiner on HBO's leftist 20 percenter circle jerk show known as "Real Time with Bill Maher"? A paltry 825 summer sausages (errr, clams) per appearance!!! That would barely pay for a year's worth of long-distance phone sex and Internet Twitter access for Anthony's Weiner!
Anthony's Weiner might make a decent talking head (for lack of a better phrase) on MSNBC, but with the network's 7 or 8 viewers on average at any given moment, just how much is that gonna pay?! Weiner's probably better off sticking with Maher, truth be told.
Democrat Party Stuck Handling Anthony's Weiner
So Anthony's Weiner is in a real pickle. A boner fide pork sword of a predicament. A veritable baloney poney of monstrous proportions. As The Post observes: "Even if scandal-stained [Anthony's Weiner] didn't want to stay in office, he needs to stay in office."
So I'm sorry democrat party. Because it looks like you may be stuck with Anthony's Weiner in your rump for quite some time to come. It may be well after 2012 before you can unload that Weiner and his Congressional Member. Damn pesky no-talent, loud-mouthed, sext-loving Weiners!
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