[Preface: This post first appeared briefly last Thursday before Blogger.com crashed for 24 hours and this post disappeared. Today I realized that the post was back as a "draft" on my "Edit Posts" page, and so I thought I'd just re-post it today...]They'd like us to shut up and "turn the other cheek." We live in a depressing world of slime. Just today, I was having a hard time finding something to write about. I was seeing just more of the same routine sliminess that I see every day. BOR-ING, until...
Just Another Day in Paradise (apologies to Phil Collins)
Same old tired stuff. I see slimy, flip-flopping and/or corrupt politicians named Mitt & Newt running for president. I see a slimy individual named Common participating in events at the White House. I see a slimeball named Osama continuing to be thrust into the headlines for obvious reasons. I see a dangerous leftist billionaire slime named Palpatine (errr, Soros) with his tenacles all into the media. I see the typical rapes, bullyings and murders of people with no protection. I see a slimy pop culture that entices most into paying no attention.
But then I see something different! I see a Dallas mom stickin' up to the slime! Way to go, mama, because make no mistake: They don't want us acting like that. So here we go:
This Would-Be Mugger Picked the Wrong Mama to F*ck With!
Her name is Juliette Sweda (pictured at top). The unassuming Dallas soccer mom was just finishing up a round of grocery shopping as she headed towards her SUV (what else would she drive?!) to unload. Or as the Brits say, "she loaded her groceries into the boot of her people carrier" (link at bottom).
What Juliette didn't know was that a "beady-eyed purse-snatcher was lurking nearby." But more importantly, what the beady-eyed purse-snatcher (reportedly a female herself) didn't know was that Juliette is a trained boxer and "boot-camp leader." [BTW, I'm not precisely sure what it means to be a "boot-camp leader," but it sounds pretty badass and nevertheless much more intimidating than being something like a "band camp leader"].
Apparently thinking that she had spotted some easy prey, the female mugger swiped Juliette's purse from inside the SUV and tried to make a quick beeline to a getaway vehicle. Said Juliette: "I'm shutting the door, and I turn around and here's a woman -- probably around 5'7" with long dreadlocks -- opening my door, reaching in and grabbing my bag."
And the badass boot camper was having none of that. Juliette reportedly gave chase, caught up with the mugger, and grabbed those long dreadlocks. When the slimeball struggled and tried to actually put the damn getaway car in gear, Juliette went Muhammad Ali on her ass and clocked her one right in the kisser with her best "power punch":
"I'm trying to stop her, I'm on top of her, from putting the car in gear, so she tries to put it in reverse and I'm like, 'No, No, I'm getting my bag back' . . . It was a natural reaction. I just threw my power punch, yes, I did."
Juliette also went into further explanation of her boxing technique, which (truth be told) for me conjured up the lyrics to The Hokey Pokey:
"If you're left foot is forward you're jabbing with your left, whereas if your right foot is forward you're jabbing with your right."
As for that sleazejam mugger, Juliette says the cowardly crook "soon realized the fight was lost and promptly handed back the bag." Scumjob.
And any final thoughts from the healthy and heroic soccer mom? "I'm in shape," Juliette proclaimed. Damn right -- "H-e-a-l-t-h-y" just like Madonna in '85!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1386291/Mugger-attacks-boxing-instructor-Juliette-Sweda-loads-car-shopping.html#
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