Sorry, but I just can't do it today. I need a break over here. So I'm not today going to discuss Obama, his Daddy, the rotten economy, global warming causing tornadoes, deranged right-wingers, John Edwards, or crazy crimes. As a result, here's everything that you're going to miss today:The Antics of Obama & His Daddy
-I'm not going to talk about the San Francisco Chronicle this weekend accusing Obama's White House of outright lying about the White House's banishment of a Chronicle reporter from the White House press pool because she shot video of Obama protesters that was unfavorable to Obama (as first covered in this space on Saturday). I'm ignoring that story, just like Mr. Nixon would prefer of a good Audioslave.
-I'm also not talking about the report in Politico.com that Obama's old man was kicked out of Harvard in the 1960's because of concerns over his personal life and finances, including the fact that Harvard "couldn't seem to figure out how many wives he had." I'm burying that story faster than Dan Rather skipping out early at a document authentication convention.
The Ever-Falling Dollar and Ever-Rising Gas Prices Under Obama's Economic Policies
-I'm also burying an AP report that while Obama yucked it up with Hollywood types this weekend at the annual White House "correspondents" dinner, gas prices continued to rise and will soon be at a national average of more than $4.00/gallon. What AP report?
-You'll also see no mention here of a new Wall Street Journal story saying that the dollar has now reached a 3-year low (the worst since 2008) due to the "ultra-loose monetary policy" of Obama and his Federal Reserve, and it just keeps falling. Hey, I don't know nothing; I just work here.
-Likewise, I'm paying no attention to a new report on Bloomberg.com about how the Canadian "loonie" dollar is now stronger than and outperforming the ever-increasingly weakening U.S. dollar. Dollar schmollar, as far as I'm concerned.
Global Warming as a Cause of Southern Tornadoes
-I'm really ignorning a story on France24.com reporting (much to the chagrin of American 20 percenter leftists) that U.S. meteorologists say the devastating southern tornadoes this week were in fact not caused by global warming (I warned the leftists earlier this week to come up with something more original to blame the tornadoes on, but I don't believe they ever really followed up in any material way).
Deranged Right-Wingers Conjuring Up Images of Lynchings & Nazi Germany
-I see no reason to discuss reports that boring white male retread GOP 2012 presidential frontrunner Mitt Romney told an audience at a fundraiser this weekend that "republicans will figuratively 'hang' President Obama with bad economic news" and metaphorically discussing "hanging" such news "around the neck" of Obama. Maybe he was taken out of context. Hung verdict.
-Similarly, why would I bother to mention the story on RealClearPolitics.com that the president of the National Black Chamber of Commerce blasted Obama and his administration as being "anti-business," "Marxist," "fanatical"; moreover,"they might as well put on the brownshirts and swastikas," ranted this obvious braintrust, Harry Alford. Who's he calling anti-business, anyway? (Joking).
Judge Won't Allow John Edwards to Hide Again in the $hithouse
-I am so ignorning a Reuters report on a North Carolina judge's ruling that former democrat party vice presidential candidate John Edwards won't be allowed to hunker down again in a hotel bathroom, but will instead be forced to testify about his "sexcapades" in an ongoing lawsuit brought by the woman (Rielle Hunter) with whom Edwards cheated while his wife battled cancer. What's so sexy about that story?
Crazy Crimescene: Charitable Hobos, Porno Cops, Famished Drunks, and Prickly Prosecutors
-I won't be discussing the story out of Tampa about a local homeless tramp who allegedly pulled a bank job and then went Robin Hood, boarding a bus and handing out most of his take to passengers. I never write about hobos, tramps and bums, after all. "YOU WANNA GROW UP TO BE A BUM!?!":
-I'm also burying an item from NBC 4 in L.A. about two local traffic cops who allegedly pulled it over long enough to star in a porn film while on duty. Porn stories have no place on this family friendly blog -- Gil Bang aside.
-You also won't see me giving any space to a story this weekend out of North Royalton, Ohio, about a hungry drunk driver who allegedly ignored cops' orders to pull over and instead proceeded to head through a Taco Bell drive-thru in order to get her greasy grub on. I never give a moment's notice to crazy happenings at fast food joints.
-Finally, I couldn't care less about a report from CBSNews.com about a prosecutor in Washington state who actually prosecuted (for theft) a grocery store shopper who ate a 99-cent deli hot dog while shopping and then forgot to pay for it at check out (the jury took five minutes to acquit). The prosecutor was right to throw the book at that badass!
So that's everything you won't be hearing from me this weekend. Blame in on general battle fatigue in Obama's America. Bush and global warming aren't helping matters either.
[Postscript: Actually, I'm not So Tired -- just having fun with this post. I lacked a single great compelling topic today, so I just used like a dozen or whatever it added up to!]
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