"Yeah, Give Me a Package a' That There Pot Roast with the August 11 Expiration Date ... WAIT A DAMN MINUTE, Sam -- August 11, 2004?!?"

I definitely wouldn't want this Sam the Butcher bringing Alice Brady the meat. If you "Shake Your Rump" after this butcher sells it to you, something's liable to crawl right out of it. As the Old Man (Ed Wilson) on Natural Born Killers might say, "That meatman really cuts it!"

Cops in Naples, Italy have arrested a local butcher for not being totally forthcoming when it comes to his meat. And I'm only talking 'bout the Meat He Sells! To be precise, this Neopolitan nimrod was allegedy selling hocks, jowls and loins (and a lot of other things) that were 10 years past their expiration date!

They're calling this joint "the store of horrors," and the Year 2000-something meat being sold there was reportedly worm-infested and positively putrid. So why would anyone in their right mind buy meat with a 10-year-old expiration date?

Well, this mentally ill meat carver had that one covered, it seems (allegedly). Cops say he tampered with the meat labels and changed their expiration dates so that no one would get wise to his crazy cutlet caper. This demented meat dresser sounds like a real cut up, no?

And just to add insult to injury, this deranged sirloin sire allegedly had his meat hooks into a lot more than just fillet and foreshank. Cops say he was also trying to pass off really old non-meat products too.

Specifically, "shocked food safety inspectors discovered pasta and biscuits crawling with parasites, rotting meats and dairy products, and olives covered in mold in the store of horrors."

But now this chumpchops may have to trade in his butcherblock in the meathouse for a cell block in the ice house. Cops busted the rotten meatman (allegedly) for suspicion of endangering the public health.

Too bad "the public health" typically doesn't account for the welfare of maggots, worms and other parasitic creatures, since this meat-dressing moron was their biggest benefactor (allegedly).

Better watch that rump roast in the can, meatman -- no "Cryin' Like a Bitch" permitted there.

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpps/news/offbeat/italian-butcher-arrested-for-selling-decade-old-meat-dpgonc-20110415-to_12775721