Your Money Hard at Work! Check Out Some of These Dogs From Obama & The Dems' Earmark-Laiden Stimulus Bill.

Very much in the news this week has been the compilation put together by republican Senators John McCain and Tom Coburn detailing 100 awful examples of wasteful expenditures under Obama & The Dems' huge stimulus bill from last year (link to the full compilation at bottom). Figuring the media and most folks will naturally focus more on the items appearing closer to the top of the McCain/Coburn list, I went straight to the bottom, focusing on Item Nos. 79-100.

And sure enough, it didn't take me too long to come up with this list of 10 apparently needless, mindless and completely wasteful expenditures of your money during a time period when the federal government is threatening to spend the country right into bankruptcy (these items appear in no particular order):

1. Let's Go Tailgating! (#97): $400,000 to help a private bus company in Pennsylvania buy a $500,000 luxury bus, with all the amenities, to add the company's fleet of buses, which is used for luxury tours and fan trips to college football games, such as Penn State games.

2. I Smell a Rat? (#95): Actually, I think that stench may be republican Sen. Kit "Porky" Bond, who never met a wasteful earmark he didn't like. $180,935 goes to my alma mater (the University of Missouri-Columbia) to fulfill what the school calls an "urgent need," i.e. to find improved ways of freezing rat sperm for "optimal sperm handling" in the ol' science lab!

3. They Should Fire the P.R. Manager (#93): $363,760 in stimulus spending in Maryland for the express purpose of promoting and providing public relations for other stimulus spending. Pssst: Whatever P.R. gimmicks this money was spent on, it hasn't worked!

4. Feed the Starving Artists! (#98): $184,650 spent in Connecticut for the National Park Service to turn an old garage into an art studio for the "personal and professional work" of "artists" involved in an "Artist-in-Residence program." Hey, I'm a Starving Blogger. Does that mean I can have $200K to build my own little place where I can blog, hang out, sleep, furnish with a new computer and other conveniences, and maybe even hire a couple of paid staffers? I'm an Artist! I deserve it, Damn It!

5. These Traffic Lights Are Killing Me! (#89): It seems they have a little problem in Sebring, Florida. Their traffic light system has this pesky tendency to catch residents in too damn many red lights! So it's the federal government to the rescue! $1.1 million to install a new system to "better coordinate" the city traffic signals.

6. To Retire or Not Retire, That Is the Question (#87): This'll get the old economy hummin'! $174,661 to study whether retiring earlier leads to happier married couples in retirement. Talk about your cutting edge research!

7. Polka Party!!! (#85): While I was sure an item like this would have come out of a Nebraska wedding reception or barnyard dance, it's actually out of San Antonio: $25,000 to fund a big polka dance and accordion festival.

8. My Mutt's Ancestors Ran with the Roman Legions! (#84): If you've ever wanted to piece together your dog's family tree, the stimulus bill is helping out! $296,385 to research the genetic missing links in the evolution of wild wolves into domesticated dogs!

9. The Convention Hall for No One (#80): North Dakota's Audubon National Wildlife Refuge is 15,000 acres and receives fewer than 80 visitors a day. Therefore, a $6.1 million brand-spanking new administration and visitor center was a must! It includes a 1,038 square foot multipurpose room, and an 884 square foot exhibit hall. What are those for, you ask? I have no earthly idea. Maybe to serve as a garage for the RV's of the park's scant number of visitors.

10. When Demand's Low, Increase the Supply! (#79): Buffalo, New York's downtown hotel industry is really struggling these days. The obvious solution? Build another hotel down there on the federal government's dime ($6 million), of course. And make sure it's a high-end boutique hotel while you're at it!

Man. And I didn't even read the first 78 items on the McCain/Coburn compilation! And thanks again, Obama & The Dems, for my daily reminder of why I'm so excited about November. Just three months and counting now!

http://coburn.senate.gov/public//index.cfm?a=Files.Serve&File_id=e1e0624e-d02a-42d4-9dbb-f5b9f21b3572