Episode 1 Synopsis: In the debut episode this week of this hot new Bravo series, the very unique and contrasting personalities and background of the 5 Ladies are revealed, along with plenty of friction and conflict! (What else, right!!!).Segment 1: The show starts by introducing its 5 lady stars one by one:
Mary Amons: Mary is driving her son Ryan in an SUV. They live in McLean VA, and are surrounded by the CIA. Dick Cheney and Colin Powell are neighbors. She’s lived in this area her whole life. Her family is going to its yearly photo shoot to have a holiday card taken. “DC is a political city and it never hurts to stay connected,” says Mary (insinuating that such is the main motivation for shooting the holiday card).
Mary has been married to husband Rich for 24 years and they have 5 kids (3 daughters and 2 sons ranging in age from 11 to 23). They’ve brought wine for the older ones to drink so that they don’t get too stressed out during the shoot (apparently based on past experience, they say). Mary's family goes way back in DC, she says. Her grandfather was legendary radio and TV personality Arthur Godfrey, who was very good friends with LBJ (as Mary notes). Mary's old man was a DC lobbyist and became friends with Ethel Kennedy, and as a girl they’d get invited for pool parties over at the Kennedy’s, which is a very fond memory for Mary.
Lynda Erkiletian: She claims to run the top modeling agency in DC (and that it’s been that way for 25 years) – T.H.E. Artist Agency. She's divorced twice and has four kids (two of whom are 16 and 24). Lynda says she’s not interested in getting married again. She has a much younger (half her age) 6’5” muscle-bound boyfriend named Ebong. BTW, the media and plenty of viewers have already noticed Lynda’s seemingly uncanny resemblance to Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Michaele Salahi (pronounced “Mi-CAL-uh” by Cat and “Mi-CAY-luh” by Mary and Lynda): Of course, Michaele became (in)famous when she and her husband Tareq crashed a state dinner at the White House in November 2009 and had their picture taken with Obama. Right off the bat, she’s shown having a professional do her makeup for her and says that clothing and fashion are extremely important in DC: “I spend a lot of time just trying to look good. I love just to make an entrance!” [But don't we all?!?]
Next Michaele's getting her hair done and brags about meeting Obama at a “Rock the Vote” event. “He really loves people,” she tells those around her. “When people first meet me, they think I have no substance . . . but then they see that there’s a whole lot of substance here,” she says. She’s then heard referring to the Oval Office in the White House as the “oval room.” She then talks about husband Tareq (which she pronounces, “Tark”). She brags about how he’ll sometimes fly her over off to Paris just for dinner. She says he makes her feel like Cinderella, and that he’s her “fantasy prince.” It’s clear that Michaele just loves to receive expensive jewelry from him! OOOOW!
At first blush, frankly, Michaele reminds me of Sharon Stone’s “Ginger” character from the movie Casino, except likely not nearly as intelligent. She explains that she and Tareq live in Virginia wine country, own a vineyard and winery called Oasis, and (for good measure) Tareq is captain of the United States horse polo team. She says they travel into DC every day and spend a lot of time in hotels in the city. “We spend a fortune in hotels.”
Catherine (“Cat”): She grew up in Great Britain in the London area and moved to the States in the past few years. She has 2 young daughters, and they are rather hilarious in that one seems to speak with a distinctly British accent while the other with more of an American accent. She moved to DC to join up with and marry her childhood sweetheart Charles (also British), who’s been a White House photographer for 12 years (including working closely with both the Bush and Obama families). Cat has a book coming out later this year called “Inbox Full,” which details her life experiences and travels. OFF THE RECORD (not discussed on the show): Cat once allegedly (despite being like 25 years older than him) MADE OUT with Prince Harry of Britain! It Was Quite the Scandal for the Ole Brits!
Segment 2: There’s an event going on near the DC monuments called America’s Polo Cup – an event founded by Michaele and husband Tareq. The event draws a lot of DC political and diplomatic types. Polo players on their horses are then shown (including Tareq) galloping around one of the large fields around the Washington monument (Doesn't that really tear up the grass on that public park field?). Michaele explains that her role at the event is to work the crowd, and she goes around hugging people and telling them she loves them. She says that if more of us would just go around hugging people, it would “save the world.”
Off camera, Lynda explains that she’s worked with this event in the past, but that no one would ever get paid, which was bad for her business. So she no longer sponsors the event, and Michaele explains that Lynda therefore has not been invited (the two do claim to be friends, however). Lynda: “I have no desire to go back or ever be associated again with that little goat rodeo.” But Cat does show up at the event, along with her friend Andrea. Predictably, it takes Michaele about 2 seconds before she’s up huggin’ on Cat. [You know, I should have crashed this event like Michaele crashed the White House, because I guarantee you that Michaele would have given me a big hug!] Cat and Michaele resolve to go horse riding together sometime.
Then in the polo match, Tareq scores a goal, prompting Michaele to start braggin’ that fact up to everyone around her! Cat: “Michaele is 5000 miles an hour, the attention span of a gnat, she’s pretty crazy.” Edwina Rogers, described as a prominent republican lobbyist, then shows up. And Michaele is over hugging her just as fast as she can, but then quickly running off and leaving Edwina alone. So Edwina introduces herself to Cat. They seem to hit it off decently. Off camera, Cat says she was expecting something bigger of this event and says she “wasn’t very impressed.”
Meantime, Mary is looking fine in a red dress and is strutting into The Madison, where she meets up for drinks with Lynda and her boyfriend Ebong. It’s revealed that Mary is about to have a birthday and has a party planned the next night. Lynda and Ebong apparently helped plan the event. Cat is invited, and Mary and Lynda say they are excited at the prospect of Cat possibly joining their “little circle” if things work out well. Stacie is also coming, but Michaele is not coming. Mary explains that she and Michaele go way back, but Mary thinks it would just be too strange to have her at the party (although no explanation is given).
However, Mary says that Tareq (Michaele’s husband) wants Mary and Lynda to come to the winery to help stomp grapes. Lynda: “Only the white grapes, I’m not about the dark grapes.” This line catches Ebong’s attention (he’s African-American), but it’s pretty clear to me (and to him) that whatever Lynda meant, it had nothing to with racial issues. Ebong quips, “I’m not a grape, I’m a prune.”
Segment 3: It’s revealed that Mary has a biometric lock on her wardrobe at home that can only be opened with her fingerprint. Apparently this is to keep her daughters out of her clothes. Mainly, she seems to fear oldest daughter Lolly (23), who is the same dress size as Mary and who recently moved back home after “going broke.” Mary reveals to Lolly that Mary is thinking maybe she should invite Michaele to the birthday party. Mary then calls Michaele, tells her the whole party is very last minute, and invites her. Michaele says she’ll be there.
The party then goes down at Todd Gray’s Equinox. When Michaele shows up, Lynda divulges that she believes the Salahis are on the “second tier level” as compared with the other stars of the show, which she explains seems so “unnatural” in terms of having the Salahis attend a party with the rest of them. Of course, Michaele has hugs aplenty for all of the attendees!
Off camera, Lynda says that she met Michaele 15 years ago before Michaele met Tareq. Lynda says Michaele has changed a lot over the years. Lynda notes that Michaele just seems to keep getting thinner and thinner (truth be told, Michaele is skin and bones, although is Lynda just covering up since Lynda is rail-thin as well?).
Meantime, birthday girl Mary is SAUCED! She starts spewing some drivel to Stacie and a prominent local celebrity hair stylist named Ted Gibson (who happens to be African-American) about how “salons need to integrate” and she says, “we have different hair and different needs, but why do we need to be in a different salon?” She continues: “The wave has arrived here with our new administration, and the beautiful couple that we have leading our country.” Stacie and Ted seem somewhat (to say the least) taken aback by Mary’s rant. Off camera, Stacie sums up Mary’s little speech as “Ridiculous!”, but Stacie also realizes that Mary’s fairly drunk at this point.
Next day at Stacie’s house: Erika (a friend of Mary and Stacie) arrives. They’re planning a little cooking get together at Stacie’s house, and Mary, Cat and Michaele are all to be invited. Stacie calls Cat and says that Cheo, Janet Jackson’s chef, is going to head up this get together, giving a cooking class to the ladies. Cat says she’ll come, noting that her husband will be shooting photos of VP Joe Biden all that day (leaving Cat free to attend).
At Cat’s house: Charles and the two daughters are there with Cat. Charles tells the girls how he just had to drive back from North Carolina and that he swears he could constantly saw someone “playing a banjo” every time he looked in the rear-view mirror. The ladies then break into the banjo theme from the movie Deliverance. Charles remarks, “It was just like Deliverance.”
Personal Point: Geez Brits!: Got a few hangups over there!? Maybe I could drive through the British countryside and claim to have flashbacks to the Revolutionary War!? Jeezal Peezal! But I digress.
So then Cat starts talking about the other ladies to her husband, and generally gives them good reviews, but says that the “jury’s still out on Michaele.”
At Mary’s house: Husband Rich has received an e-mail from Washingtonian Magazine saying that he’s one of their Style Setters for the year. So Rich starts modeling some of his clothes for wifey Mary. [Not unnoticed by me: It’s the middle of the day, and Mary is boozin’ again. The booze seem to flow like the Missouri River in 1993 around Mary’s Abode!] It’s strongly insinuated that this award has come Rich’s way only because Mary knows the publisher of the magazine very well. And Rich is clearly suspicious. BTW, Rich is fairly entertaining. He has this whole “OOOOH-Kayyyyyy” sort of delivery to everything he says, kind of like the Boss Bill Lumbergh (Gary Cole) character in Office Space, only that Rich isn’t a jerkwad like Lumbergh was.
At The Liaison: It’s the Washingtonian Magazine Style Setter Party. Rich is announced for his award, but they mispronounce his last name, as Mary notes! Lynda is there to receive a Style Setter award of her own. She hobnobs with Paul Wharton, celebrity stylist. Lynda starts running down Michaele to Paul, including more blasts about Michaele being too skinny. “I can count her bones – She’s losing weight to a degree that she needs to be spoken to – She’s a zero, she’s in a danger zone,” says Lynda.
Segment 4: It just so happens, Michaele is meeting up with Paul Wharton in the next segment! Darn the luck! Paul shows Michaele several gowns and dresses that she might consider wearing. They then take a break, and Paul tells Michaele that Lynda is very concerned about Michaele’s weight. Michaele is very taken aback that Lynda is talking about her behind her back.
At Stacie’s House for the big cooking get together with Cheo! Mary arrives. Then Cat. Cat shows off some of Charles’ pics from that day of Joe Biden (on Cat’s cell phone). Stacie is impressed. The ladies ask Cat about her back story with her husband Charles. She says they met at age 18, and then saw each other again in the past few years (talk about a “Yadda, Yadda, Yadda” Seinfeld-type blow off!).
Then Cat and Stacie have a SLIGHT disagreement over Tyra Banks. Cat doesn’t like her (“she’s hideous”), but Stacie does (“she’s beautiful”). Then Cat tries to do a Tyra impersonation, and Stacie is obviously offended (and likely for good reason) by a Brit trying to pull off an impersonation of an angered African-American lady. The coolest person in this whole equation is Cheo, who has consistently laughed off all the sheer bull$hit being blasted by all these ladies around him! I like that dude!
Then all Hell breaks loose! Cat indicates that she didn’t receive an RSVP from Obama with respect to her wedding to White House photographer Charles, but DID apparently receive an RSVP from George W Bush! Stacie is ALL THE WAY OFFENDED by the insinuation that W is somehow superior to Obama!
Two points here: First, it’s clear that Cat is not any type of partisan – she’s just a socialite. This wasn’t anything partisan with her, but just what she perceived (for right or wrong) as a social slight. Second, and this is direct to Stacie: Obama and W are complete equals, and neither is above or below the other: Equal in the sense of being the two worst presidents of my almost 40-year lifetime, but I digress yet again.
Segment 5: The ladies continue to bicker about George W Bush. And I will give one of Stacie’s observations some credit: She noted how the 2 people that Cat went off on the most were Obama and Tyra Banks. I thought the Obama blast was mostly based on socialite silliness, but I’m onboard with seeing the offense in the Banks impersonation. I do suspect Cat has some racial issues, but I’m also hopeful that Stacie can remain above the fray and try to help Cat work through those. I really do. But AGAIN I digress (which I what I do when cover these long-ass hour-long reality series!).
Upcoming Episodes: Bravo ran like 2-3 minutes of highlights from upcoming episodes. Suffice it to say, this is going to be a wild-ass series with plenty of fireworks!
Final Comments: I love the political angle and connection of this series. I've previously covered What Chilli Wants and You're Cut Off, but this series has a bit more intriguing to me, because it revolves around ladies with connections in the powerful and slimey world of DC politics. So be sure to check back each and every Thursday night/Friday morning for my weekly Episode Recaps of this fascinating new series!
Posts
