Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I've Heard of "Say Hello to My Little Friend,"
But "Take Care of THIS"!?


The National Enquirer is reporting today that police have investigated charges by two additional female masseuses that they were abused by our esteemed inventor of the Internet and Nobel Prize-winning Climate God, Al Gore. Fresh off the recent publicity over the similar charges of another masseuse, 2010 is certainly shaping up as a very Inconvenient Year for Big Al.

According to the Enquirer, the new allegations pertain to Gore's stays in luxury hotels in Tokyo and Beverly Hills (where Gore stayed when he was attending the Oscars in 2007). The Enquirer claims to have a source at the Beverly Hills Hotel who said:

"The therapist claimed that when they were alone, Gore shrugged off a towel and stood naked in front of her. He pointed at his erect penis and ordered her, 'Take care of THIS.' "

What's next in the allegations department for this guy? I'm fully expecting the next masseuse that comes forward will say something like Gore donned a Zorro mask and started doing naked pirouettes to the sound of the old song, "Whip It," by Devo. And if it's ever alleged that he lapsed into full-on Tony Montana Scarface-speak during one of these incidents, then we're really going to have something to talk about!

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/exclusive_al_gore_sex_scandal_two_new_female_accusers_assault/celebrity/69024