Nutshell Synopsis of Episode 5: With this week's lesson being "inner beauty," the ladies are forced to participate in photo shoots with and without makeup, leading to some major league meltdowns. Plus, for the first time, one of the bad girls of the house gets her pink slip and gets sent packing for home!Segment 1: The episode picks up where the last one left off, with Gia out on the street crying, having ran out of the house in disgust at fellow bad girl Erica being named last week's VIP (Very Improved Princess). Noticeably, no one goes out to console her. She resolves not to quit and heads back inside the house.
The next morning, Erica (as VIP) is enjoying being able to dole out the household chores. She assigns Pam yardwork and gives her some friendly advice: "Have you ever used a lawnmower before? It's pretty complicated. Anyway, let me know if you need me to show you how to mow because it took me awhile to figure it out too." Meantime, ultimate bad girl Chrissy (who really hasn't done any work or anything positive to speak of since this series' inception) is sleeping in as usual, while Jackie works on mopping the kitchen. Jackie asks Erica, "do you think I should mop the refrigerator?" "Yeah," responds Erica and Jackies starts in wiping the mop all over the sides of the appliance. "That was a good idea; you're really going above and beyond your chores," comments Erica. Pam's out in the yard, raking leaves and debris into the neighbor's yard and trying to clean the fish pool with a mop (what's with these ladies and their mops this week?). Chrissy finally gets out of bed but refuses to do any work, telling Erica: "You're on my stage right now and I ain't entertaining you because you're just a prop."
Moderator Laura Baron then informs the ladies that his week's lesson has to do with "beauty" (not yet revealing to them that it's actually about "inner beauty"). They head off to have a photo shoot at Siren Studios in LA with a celebrity photographer. Says Erica, "I definitely consider myself an expert in the beauty industry, having growed up with a father who's a plastic surgeon." [No typo in that prior quote. And Erica's in law school!] Chrissy is excited about the shoot: "That's why I take my time doing my makeup -- We're about to do a photo shoot and these other girls look half-assin'. Oh I'm ready!" The ladies then head off to work with professional hair and makeup teams. Erica comments that it takes a few hundred thousand dollars a year for her to look as good as she looks, and Gia notes: "If this is a modeling competition, ladies be aware, I photograph very well."
The shoot begins with Jackie going first. Jackie says she thinks she looks very good, but off stage Jessica comments that "Jackie should be on the cover of Mad Magazine." Says Jessica, "looking at Jackie is like watching two dogs hump -- you don't wanna look but you have to." "Watch out bitches, here I come," proclaims bad girl Gia, as she's next up. Says Gia, "The only thing going through my mind right now is that this guy [the photographer] is definitely going to give me a call and is going to want to be putting me somewhere in his magazines because he's just loving my look."
Erica goes next, but Chrissy criticizes her for not having anything more than "one frozen look" on camera (as it does appear difficult for Erica to flash a large smile). Leanne says she "feels amazing" in front of the camera "because I was Little Miss America when I was 1, 2 and 3." Pam's also pompous, saying that "of course the other girls are jealous of me; I mean, I'm hotter than them." Amber, Jessica and Courtnee get their turns, followed by Chrissy, who doesn't care for the fan blowing in the studio: "Whew! You think we have to have it that strong, because my weave is gonna be off!" During her shoot, Chrissy comments: "I love having my picture taken because it captures my beautiful features, and it's something I can keep looking at over and over again, and I won't ever get tired of looking at it." She also tells the other ladies, "The Star is taking a picture. Please relax."
After the shoot, Laura Baron informs the ladies that the full description of this week's lesson is actually "inner beauty" -- "The real lesson starts now." Chrissy is not happy, spouting: "What the hell we gonna do now? I've learned my lesson [for the week]. I know I'm beautiful. Oh, it's time to go home, NOW!"
Segment 2: The girls are taken to the Chua Viet Nam Buddhist Temple, which has very much a temple look to it, complete with myriad Buddha statues. Pam notes: "I see little Buddhas everywhere when I get my nails done, and so I'm thinking, is this like a really big spa?" Chrissy says she has a "bad vibe" about this joint from the beginning. The ladies are then sent to an upstairs room in the temple to put on robes and sandals, which they hate. "I'm as hot as a Tijuana slut," barks Jessica, while Gia crows: "I'm not wearing no $1 sandals; I'm going to go out in my heals!"
Laura Baron then informs the girls that they are there to learn something from the Buddhist monks about valuing their inner beauty. Chrissy is just not feeling it: "Maybe some of these other girls are ugly on the inside, but not me, I'm beautiful on the inside. I don't need no lesson on damn inner beauty." The lovely, mild-mannered and leggy supermodel-type Courtnee is also skeptical: "Who cares if I have an attachment to materialistic things. Because my shoes and clothes look good. Who cares, as long as they make me look good." One of the monks talks to the ladies about Buddha and his life (with glazed-over eyes aplenty among the ladies). But Erica has trouble focusing on the substance of his message: "All I can think about is the monk's robe is cuter than my robe, and I wish I could be wearing his right now."
The ladies are then led to a room for some meditation with the monks. Jessica and Chrissy are not comfortable with the meditation room, with Chrissy stating: "I don't care if I piss off these monks. Going in that room -- I don't think that has nothing to do with inner beauty, and so I'm not gonna do it." As the monks start chanting, Chrissy is fed up. "This just don't feel right," she says as she stomps out of the room. Jessica does the same. The other 7 ladies participate in the meditation session. Afterward, bad girl Gia expresses her disappointment that Jessica and Chrissy refused to participate, but they really couldn't care less. In the car and on the way back to Siren Studios, Pam divulges that she is very close to totally blowing her stack with the "negative" ladies such as Jessica and Chrissy.
Arriving back at Siren Studios, Laura Baron breaks the shocking news to the ladies that the next part of this week's lesson will involve posing for another photo shoot, but this time without any makeup, any jewelry and any designer clothing. Chrissy immediately reacts negatively, saying: "No makeup! I'm supposed to be a Barbi and glamorous at all times, and polished. Oh, this is not gonna work for me!"
Segment 3: Laura Baron talks more about the purpose of this week's "inner beauty" lesson, saying that it's intended to get the ladies to more like whom they are on the inside so that they don't feel the need to spend so much time and money on pursuing material things. The ladies head to the makeup room and start working on removing their makeup. Gia and Chrissy start bickering. Chrissy wants Gia to take off her fake eyelashes as Chrissy did. Gia responds: "Then take off your fake ass hair!" Says Chrissy: "Bitch, that's my hair, not my face. I can take off my hair and still be as hot!" Pam is becoming irritated with this bickering, and buxom nice girl and southern belle Amber is visibly getting stressed out by the bickering. Finally, Pam can't take it any longer: "I have had enough! All you ever girls ever do is complain!" Chrissy stands up for her "right to complain," and Jessica joins in and starts shouting back at Pam as well. Jessica: "I know why you're all hot and bothered, because you like a 5o-year-old woman without your makeup!" Pam: "Really? I look better than you!"
Amber has also reached her limit with the bickering and is starting to have a panic attack. She walks out of the makeup room and explains to Laura Baron that she has a panic disorder, and that a panic attack was triggered by all the fighting by the other ladies. Laura encourages Amber to relax and breathe for awhile, which helps. Laura then stands in front of a full-length mirror with Amber -- something each of the ladies will have to do as a part of their second photo shoot. Laura wants each lady to look in the mirror and say what it is that each girl likes about herself as a person. Amber's first response to that question is, "my boobs." But then she offers a more thoughtful response, saying she prides herself in being strong and confident (and typically as a result being able to avoid panic attacks like the one today).
Back in the makeup room, the bickering continues, primarily between Pam and Jessica, with Jessica having an absolutely enraged, evil look on her face such that I thought she might actually go clinically insane right then and there. Erica is next up to look in the mirror with Laura. Erica confides that she feels very vulnerable without her makeup. Laura encourages her to try to just let go of her preoccupation with makeup, botox and jewelry, and to let others love her for her. Pam, Leanne, Jessica, Courtnee and Jackie all have their turns in front of the mirror, with each saying something positive about their inner-selves.
Gia is up next, and has big difficulties bringing herself to even look in the mirror without her makeup. But alas, the problem only seems to be partially due to the lack of makeup, as Gia says that "there's a lot of things I'm not proud about." She laments that she tends to pay her way through life and pay her way out of having to do things. She says she wants to change and says that he's proud of herself for accepting that she needs to change. Laura tells Gia that she thinks Gia's made some amazing progress this week (Hear Hear!).
And then it's Chrissy time in front of the mirror! But first a personal aside: I have never been that overly attracted to Chrissy's wild-ass, exotic look in makeup, but I was amazed to actually find her much more attractive without makeup! But I digress. In front of the mirror: "What's beautiful about you," asks Laura. "Everything," proclaims Chrissy. Things only go downhill from there. Chrissy says she's not "getting" this whole "inner beauty" concept, and she repeatedly expresses that she has a huge hangup with the fact that Laura (the moderator of the show and NOT a participant) has not also taken off her makeup! Laura sees right through this tactic and starts to become very annoyed with Chrissy, telling her that she's trying to use Laura as an excuse to avoid seriously embracing the lesson and reflecting upon what she thinks is the most beautiful thing about her as a person. (Personally, I'm a bit suspicious that Chrissy's real problem might have been that she couldn't think of a single thing that's redeemable about her personality -- I mean, the lady's just rotten). Off camera, Laura says that she can't help Chrissy if she doesn't first want to help herself.
Segment 4: The next morning at the house, Chrissy is still mad at Laura for making Chrissy take off her makeup without taking off her own. Laura shows up and tells Chrissy (through the bathroom door), "I'd like to see you in my office in 15 minutes, OK?" Says Chrissy: "I'll be ready in about 40 minutes, OK?" Laura storms off. And Chrissy is being serious: "I don't rush this beauty regimen for anyone, including Laura. She needs to wait for me. I need all the time I can get to get beautified." Gia warns Chrissy that she had better get a move on, but Chrissy starts yelling at Gia about not giving her advice.
Chrissy shows up very late to the meeting with Laura. Asks Laura: "How do you feel about your participation in this program?" Responds Chrissy: "Uh, I'm participating." And things just get worse from there, with Chrissy flashing her bad attitude, complete arrogance, and lack of respect for anyone around her as Laura confronts her about not participating in lessons and giving constant pushback to everything and everyone on this program. When Laura tells Chrissy that she needs to want to help herself, Chrissy responds: "I believe this program is low key bullshit for me." Laura has finally had it: "I will not allow one woman to take down a program that I am seeing improve all of the other girls. It's not fair to the girls or the program, and quite frankly I am disappointed." Chrissy's only response: "OK, you have have anything else to say?" Then Laura lowers the ol' boom: "Yes, pack up and be gone within an hour." Chrissy says thank you and leaves.
While I had thought that Chrissy's awful behavior throughout the series might have been intended to garner getting sent home, that apparently was not the case, as she is upset and crying back at the house concerning the fact that she must leave. Put another way, she really was so arrogant so as to think that she could get away with anything and still progress to the end of the show. As Chrissy packs her bags, the very well-endowed Erica, wearing only her bra, seems to almost gloat over Chrissy's departure, telling Chrissy: "At least your luggage is cute." The other ladies do not really seem angered or outraged by Chrissy's departure, although they do seem very shocked that this has occurred (since the goal of this reality show is for all the ladies to survive until the end).
Segment 5: Chrissy is shown taking her luggage to a care for her departure. The other ladies come out to wave goodbye. And then there were eight. Jessica confides that this event is a real eye-opener for her, since she definitely does not want to get booted from the show like Chrissy was. Then the ladies begin their regular end-of-the-week meeting with Laura Baron. They first talk about Chrissy getting the hook. Laura says that she asked Chrissy to leave because she unwilling to work on helping herself. Amber asks why Laura gave up on Chrissy. Laura says it was because Chrissy simply wasn't open to being helped: "If you are committed to yourself, then I promise you that I'll be committed to you."
Final Segment: Now it's time for Laura to reveal which ladies passed and failed this week's lesson. Not surprisingly, all 8 remaining ladies pass this week since all were willing to look in the mirror and reveal what they think about their inner-selves. The Very Improved Princess (VIP) title for this week goes to Gia, who certainly came a long way in this episode after almost leaving the show at the end of last week.
But all is not well in Spoiled Brat-Ville! Pam and Jackie are irrate that Gia won VIP. Says Pam: "Gia gets away with murder!" And then it's revealed that Pam and Jackie apparently have some sort of nefarious plan up their sleeves for radically changing the dynamics in the house: "We're about to take over this house. They'll never know what hit them!" End of episode.
Preview of Next Episode: Next week the ladies must go camping! Let the bickering begin around the ol' campfire!!!
Final Comments: While it was hilarious to see Chrissy get the boot, I'm actually very sorry to see her go. Simply put, her whole rotten personality, which incessantly put herself first before the needs and interests of everyone around her, was extremely entertaining each week! Of the show's "bad girls," she was the Ultimate Bad Girl, and I'm afraid the show won't be quite the same without her. BUT, we still have bad girls Erica, Gia and Jessica to screw stuff up (plus the mysterious above-referenced plan of Pam and Jackie), and so I think the remaining three episodes should continue to be high entertainment!
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