The Key to Happiness & Success in Life, Courtesy of Big Apple's Nanny, Mayor Bloomberg: Cut Down on Them Damn Wasteful Shithouse Visits, Among Other Useful Suggestions!

Spewed Bloomberg in an interview this week:  "Work hard. Really hard. I always tried to be the first one in in the morning and the last one to leave at night, take the fewest vacations and the least time away from the desk to go the bathroom or have lunch."

There you have it. Deep. Profound. Want happiness and success? Don't eat, thereby reducing the amount of time you need to spend on the can. And avoid vacations, which are overrated. And be sure to log 80-hour work weeks, since you don't have anything important to do anywhere else anyway.

And as for everything else in life away from work, just let Big Brother Bloomberg and the government do your thinking for you. They know what's best. You need them to take care of you, and that's what they're there for. Lord knows you can't do it on your own. You're too tired and weak from those 16-hour days and 2-minute lunches, after all.

http://politicker.com/2013/08/mayor-bloomberg-take-fewer-bathroom-breaks-to-succeed/