"It's Real, Damn You!" Man Allegedly Fires Squirrel at Hardees Drive-Thru Gal After Ordering "Extra Nuts" Instead of Thickburger for His Furry Friend.

America's drive-thrus are out of control! Last week (as detailed in this space) it was some teenager in Cali allegedly tossing a scalding plate of food back through a drive-thru window, and this week it's 26-year-old Chris Thompson (pictured on left) allegedly heaving a dead squirrel at an Illinois Hardees drive-thru employee who questioned whether the rodent was real (link to full story at bottom). I guess some people really take it personally if you question the reality of their favorite pet.

In a case that cops have labeled as "Male Threw Dead Animal Through Drive Thru Window," cops say that Thompson was introduced to his little deceased pal when a friend put the squirrel on the dash of Thompson's car as a "prank." Apparently taking a real liking to the creature, Thompson took to driving around with it.

Then he hit the Hardees drive-thru for some "grub" and tried to introduce the animal to drive-thru gal Deborah Roberts. She says that Thompson "began to pet the squirrel and make it talk to the female employees" inside the Hardees. How Thompson "made it talk" is not revealed in the story, but my assumption (absent some buddy in the backseat throwing his voice) is that Thompson was working some sort of lame-ass ventriloquist act.

Next Thompson reportedly tried to place an order of "extra nuts for his squirrel" while continuing to pet the deceased critter. And that's when all hell broke loose! The drive-thru lady -- not believing that everything in this picture was on the up and up (squirrels typically don't speak English, after all) -- starting giving a Thompson a big hassle over whether the squirrel was real.

At that, Thompson apparently flipped his lid. "Yes it is real!", he barked at the drive-thru lady and then proceeded to fire the animal's corpse through the drive-thru window right at the woman. Thompson's now been charged with disorderly conduct. The local police chief is quoted as saying that his department takes "incidents like this seriously" and that "such behavior would not be condoned" in his town.

However, Thompson is not without a defense (of course!). He says he thought the drive-thru window would automatically close if something was thrown at it and would "not allow the squirrel to enter the business." Put another, I guess, he's saying he only intended the dead animal to bounce off the drive-thru window and land on the pavement below (where it would welcome subsequent drive-thru patrons). Nothing "disorderly" about that!

As for the squirrel, a customer inside the restaurant (why not an employee?!?) reportedly went "beyond the call of duty, removed the animal and placed it in the snow outside the eatery" (as pictured above). That's where cops found it and snapped some photos for evidence. No word on whether or not cops bothered to give the animal a proper Christian burial after taking their pictures. Poor squirrel.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/dead-squirrel-tossed-drive-thru-window