It's Official: No Zombie Apocalypse. The CDC Over the Weekend Spouts, "We Do Not Know of a Virus or Condition That Would Reanimate the Dead." What a Load Off the Mind...

...what with the recent rash of cannibal attacks in several states.  The same statement by the CDC also assures all of us that the organization is not aware of any virus or condition "that would present zombie-like symptoms" (link to full story at bottom).   Many nationwide apparently had been worried... 

So rest easy tonight.  I'm just glad the CDC is around to tell us these kinds of things.  Your federal tax dollars hard at rest.

Now, if the CDC could also only put our mind at ease these days about the spread of other prevalent physical and mental disorders such as vampirism, wolfman's cough and Mr. Hyde's fever, not to mention loony left-winger lout's syndrome and deranged right-winger rat's ass. [Although maybe I shouldn't speak so lightly about those last two, since they are very real.]

http://dailycaller.com/2012/06/01/cdc-no-zombies-despite-cannibal-attacks/