Dudes don't much care for it when the Girlfriend receives texts from an Ex. Some dudes might break it off with the broad. Others might take Girlfriend's phone away. Still others may simply lay down a "no more" ultimatum. But there are also alternative approaches, such as breaking out the wasabi sauce and using it to declare a small war on Girlfriend...
According to The Smoking Gun (link below), last Friday night started off romantically enough between the above pictured 22-year-old Massachusetts college student John McGuinness and his Girlfriend, as the two got their drink on while they watched the Celtics game down at the local Barnstable bar.
But later, somewhere between the bar and home, John says he got wind of Girlfriend receiving texts from "some guy who she slept with in school." And that's when an otherwise pleasant evening got real saucy real fast...
Girlfriend says she dropped John off at his joint but was summoned back by a text from John saying that he was gonna toss her "$200 pair of jeans" out in the yard. When Girlfriend arrived back at the home, she says John came out the pad brandishing said jeans -- but with a spicy twist: He had allegedly caked the britches in a nice thick coat of wasabi sauce!
John was allegedly whipped up into a sick sort of fire sauce frenzy at that point, as Girlfriend says he took the sauce-drenched jeans and "whipped me right in the face with them." It apparently didn't take too long for the sauce's horseradish to do its magic on Girlfriend's eyes, since she says she was temporarily blinded by the attack.
For good measure, Girlfriend says John also threw her to the ground and then proceeded to soak the inside of her car with an avalanche of still more wasabi sauce! But after cops arrested this alleged hot sauce hothead, he reportedly told them that the car attack was just sauce for the gander: "She's done worse to my car in the past," reasoned John.
He also wants to make it clear for the record that although he had been at a bar that night, it wasn't HIM who was on the sauce: "I want it known that I am not drunk and she is," John reportedly clarified to the cops.
For his alleged horseradish hijinks, John faces three criminal charges, including misdemeanor assault and battery "by dangerous weapon/sauce." I'm just glad he stuck with the wasabi and didn't trot out any of that super-hot mustard they serve at the Chinese joints. Damn felony, that might've been.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/wasabi-sauce-attack-748301
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