"Obama to Explore Irish Roots": My 1st Thought as a Mick Yank Was That He's About as Irish as He's Mainstream American. But When You Think About It...

On tap for Obama today is a visit to Ireland, and the itinerary doesn't just include official business. Obama will reportedly spend some time today looking into his purported "Irish roots." And when you get past the initial huge laugh of such a notion, there really are numerous ways in which Obama might justifiably claim to have some green blood flowing through his veins. I say we start calling this Irishman, "O'Bama" -- what do you think?

In short, Obama actually has a lot in common with the Irish people. So much so, in fact, that I could probably reel off 100 or more examples if I wanted. But for the sake of brevity (as well as to spare you), I'll limit myself to the first 10 examples that spring to mind (in no particular order):

1. The Irish like to drink beer.

Obama likes to spread fear.

2. The Irish look for four-leaf clovers for luck.

Obama's wife would like all of us to subsist on clovers and tree bark (see pics above).

3. A minority of the Irish population speaks a rather strange tongue to the ear known as native "Irish" or "Gaelic."

Obama belongs to a small minority of Americans who speak the equally odd language of "leftist 20 percenter."

4. The Irish preserve their ancient castles and are quite harsh with those who would deface them.

Obama expects to be treated like a castle monarch and goes Nixonian on the ass of anyone in the White House press corp who treats him otherwise.

5. Many Irish tend to look down upon their hobo population (known as "tinkers") that travels around and beds down in makeshift huts.

Obama the multi-millionaire offers not one red (or green) cent of financial support to his Kenyan brother who likewise lives in a hut.

6. The Irish are known for their explosive tempers.

Obama is known for pushing a button on a guy or getting us involved in a new foreign military incursion or escalation anytime he thinks he could use a bump in the polls.

7. The glass jar-fare at Ireland's Waterford Crystal factory is truly something to behold.

The class war-fare that Obama incessantly uses in his rhetoric is truly something to bemoan.

8. The Irish say there's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.

Obama says there's a racist lurking under every American bed.

9. The Irish wish they lived on a unified island having no border with Northern Ireland.

Obama is no fan himself of the concept of U.S. borders and makes jokes about building a moat around the U.S. and stocking it with alligators.

10. The Irish are quite fond of wee little men known as leprechauns.

Obama purportedly gets a real kick out of that little midget on HBO's Game of Thrones.


(OK, that last one -- made it up. BTW, I like that little guy Tyrion myself: To me, he's the most interesting and multidimensional character on the entire Thrones show).

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Barack-Obama-Moneygall-Visit-US-President-To-Visit-Ireland-Ahead-Of-State-Visit-To-UK/Article/201105315996322?lpos=World_News_Right_Promo_Region_1&lid=ARTICLE_15996322_Barack_Obama_Moneygall_Visit%3A_US_President_To_Visit_Ireland_Ahead_Of_State_Visit_To_UK

Maybe the World IS Ending, As Hobos Wreak Havoc: Bums Allegedly Blow Up House, Commit Stabbings and Murders, and Disrupt Traffic By Hijacking Roof!

These Tramps Be Tearin' It Up (allegedly)! Try telling them the world ain't coming to an end this weekend!

"Piping Hot" Panhandlers Really Burn Down the House

It's typically a big moneymaker for so many of these bums: Strip the pipes and copper out of a joint and then go sell it for cold hard moolah. But typically they stick to abandoned structures, and with good reason -- as evidenced this week in the Big Apple.

Cops there say two vagabonds broke into an inhabited apartment (under renovation) this week looking to rip out the pipes and sell them to support a drug habit. But "this plan really backfired," says the New York Post.

And how -- as these "piping hot dopes" allegedly removed an active gas line, fired up a cigarette at the same time, and "blew the front off the Staten Island home"!

The alleged "burned duo" has since been busted and sent up the river to a place where their cancer sticks suddenly got a lot more expensive -- the local pokey.

What Did "Yard Sale" Dyck Ever Do to Satan & Roofless?

A rather sad street urchin story out of Virginia this weekend, where prosecutors have charged two bums actually named Satan and Roofless with going Jungle Buzzard (hobos feeding on their own) and forcing fellow vagabond "Yard Sale" Dick (pictured above with his girlfriend Lucille) to Catch the Westbound (i.e., he's dead and in the bone orchard).

And now "the sad-eyed, cross-country train hopper" Satan has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in the beating death of Yard Sale Dyck. In a court hearing, Satan said "I apologize," as he claims he only meant to "beat up" Dyck. Satan's partner Roofless has also copped a plea to involuntary manslaughter.

The whole thing reportedly went down over Yard Sale Dyck's old lady, Lucille. Satan says that the foursome was "camping out in the rail yard and waiting to catch a southbound train" when Yard Sale Dyck took to beatin' his old lady. Satan claims that he and Roofless were just coming to Lucille's aid when they beat the living f*ck outta Dyck.

And they played it out just like any effort to prevent violence on a female -- by beating the holy hell out of Dyck, dragging Dyck's body to a van, covering the corpse with "pine straw and plywood," and then abandoning the van (according to testimony in the case). Yeah, that little fairytale about just standing up for the lady holds a lot of water -- as shown by the tramps' two guilty pleas in the case.

The Jungle Buzzards ARE Really Circlin' Over This Corner Spot

More unfortunate Jungle Buzzarding in Ohio this week, where a hobo allegedly shanked a fellow bum over the right to stand on a damn street corner.

Did these two turnpikers tussle over panhandlin' position? Nope -- rather up for grabs was prime newspaper peddling turf. Cop says the bum fight broke out during the morning rush hour just outside downtown Columbus.

Cops say 46-year-old gypsy Jeffrey Armstrong got it on with 61-year-old tinker Howard J. Ingram ("J"? A Ragman Aristocrat!), with the old timer getting the better of his younger Rum Dum. Armstrong's up in the sawbones' symphony (a phrase I just coined) in critical condition.

Alleged assailant Ingram, meantime, is livin' the loafer lockup in the cage, charged with felonious assault. You really telling me this tramp couldn't have just hoofed it over to the next downtown exit and sold his California Blankets (hobo newspapers) there? Mindless violence (allegedly).

"He MAY Have Mental Issues"

We end this sorry nomad parade in the Lone Star State this week, where cops say a hobo (pictured seated above) took over a motel roof and caused a real ruckus and distraction for passing cars down on the street (maybe he was just looking for prominent hitchhiking position?).

Cops says the bum made the rooftop his temporary home, "causing quite the traffic jam out there." They say they're not sure how he got up there and say he's not suicidal, although they say "he may have mental issues." Frankly, how they'd leap to such rash conclusions is beyond me.

At last report, this tramp was refusing to come down and cops were in no hurry to foist him down -- traffic jams be damned and regardless. But at least this layabout ain't blowing anything up, pulling any Jungle Buzzard, nor slicing any hobos into minced mudlark.

So I support the cops on this one: Just leave this bindle stiff up there 'til he's ready to come down. Besides, on this Rapture weekend, I can't see any God that I know bringin' down any Wrath with a ragpicker still up on a roof.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/piping_hot_dopes_s6YyXPAgUV4RSO1bgDVFqO

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2011/may/20/tdmet02-homeless-man-pleads-guilty-in-beating-deat-ar-1051669/
http://www2.nbc4i.com/news/2011/may/20/5/stabbing-victim-critical-grant-officers-questionin-ar-497114/
http://www.krgv.com/news/local/story/Homeless-Man-On-Top-of-Pharr-Motel-Causing/1H4WCKxt10CKxO3FDEaSrw.cspx

Stick a Sword in 'Em -- They're Done! As the Economy in Obama's America Recedes Towards the Middle Ages, People Embrace the Theme By Wielding Swords!

Oh, for the Old Days, when scumjob creeps would simply yank out a knife or a gun when they wanted to put a hole in somebody. But those were simpler times. Before the recession. Before Obama. (And W). [Wink to Star Wars]. Now -- in a country gone mad -- they're pulling out damn Samurai swords!



"Louisville Woman Pulls Sword at Pizza Hut"

That's a "woman"? Pictured above left is the mugshot of 29-year-old Wynika Mason. And I don't know if the joint was out of anchovies or what, but cops say something set Mason off to arguing with employees at a Louisville Pizza Hut on Thursday.

But it was reportedly just a routine argument, as arguments go, until Mason allegedly "raised the sakes considerably" by trying to pull a sword. That'll do it! Employees say that Mason "began to raise it out of the sheath" when her brother snatched the big blade and scurried off towards their car.

[Good to know, BTW, that Mason practiced proper sword safety (allegedly) by having the weapon properly sheathed out in public.]

About that time, cops got the call that Mason was "causing trouble" (one way of putting it) down at the Pizza Hut. When they arrived, Mason reportedly admitted owning the sword, telling cops that it was out in her car.

Now Mason may have to take her pizza and sword-play to the local Chill Factory, as she faces charges of disorderly conduct and menacing. I wonder if she'll try to avoid can time by claiming that she just wanted to use the sword to slice up her Meat Lovers' Pie?

The Double-Edged Sword of Fence-Play: Watch Out You Don't Get Killed

Also from last week, cops in Michigan responded to a 911 call saying that a man was administering a good beatin' to a woman in an apartment complex parking lot -- although apparently, no swords were at play at that particular juncture.

When cops showed up, they say 49-year-old Leon Roy Jones ran from the parking lot to this apartment. And this guy really didn't care too much for the cops crashing his little beatdown party uninvited (allegedly). Cops say Jones quickly came out of the apartment wielding a "16-inch double-edge sword"!

And the weapon reportedly wasn't just for show. Cops say Jones came at them with the sword and ignored their warnings to stop. "This was definitely a lethal situation," said one cop -- literally. One of the cops then shot and killed Jones, with an eyewitness backing up the cops' account. The shooting's currently under investigation.

This Was No Way to Honor Thy Father

It doesn't get much more cowardly than this: A 24-year-old man in New York named Zachary Gibian has been sentence to 25 years in the freezer after he admitted slicing up his stepfather to death with a samurai sword while the old man (a retired cop) was sleeping.

This slimeball Gibian freely admits that he nearly beheaded Stepdaddy during the couch attack, although he previously tried to blame his mama for the crime -- the sleazejacket. He also at one point claimed the old man sexually abused him, but he later recanted that one too. How he was only charged with manslaughter and only sentenced to 25 years is beyond me.

Regardless, all of these stories have only served to remind me that my skills as a swordsman have significantly diminished since my college days. I'm rusty and need to sweep the dust off my sword and sheath down in the basement -- lest I wish to become mincemeat at some parking lot or pizza parlor in Obama's Crazy America.

http://www.fox41.com/story/14683962/police-louisville-woman-pulls-sword-at-pizza-hut
http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20110518/NEWS01/105180321/Bath-Township-police-officer-kills-man-49-wielding-sword?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/ny-man-sentenced-to-25-years-in-prison-after-admitting-he-killed-stepfather-with-samurai-sword/2011/05/16/AFNTw14G_story.html

Workplace WOW: Salesmen Get Prostitute Bonus, While Bossman Allegedly (Among Other Vile Things) Beats His Barmaids with a Riding Crop!

I need to get into sales. But I'd probably have to learn German. This after a German insurance company provided free prostitutes to its top salesmen. (But only the very top earners got the real pick of the litter -- read on...)

Contrast that with Workplace Hell here in the States: A bar owner in Virginia faces a bevy of criminal charges for allegedly (and repeatedly) attacking his barmaids with a horse riding crop! And that wasn't even the close to being the worst of it...

Working on Commission Never Seemed So Appealing

It's a bit like living in the mob. There, you either earn or you get whacked out or something. Similar principle in sales: Either you sell or you don't eat. And think how much extra motivation you'd have if, on top of your commission, there was a free hooker waiting for you at the end of the year. Sort of a Hoe Bonus, you might say. And there was nothing hobo about it.

And that's exactly what German insurance company "Munich Re" reportedly added to its little package of salesmen benefits in the late 2000's (link to full story at bottom). Specifically, the company threw a big hooker "orgy" party for its 100 top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary.

The only problem? Sloppy seconds (and thirds, etc.), as the company only sprung for 20 whores. C'mon! If you're going to add this new benefit, then at least go all the way! Cheapskate company.

But at least the salesmen could tell how many of their fellow employees had been with each hoe. That's because "after each encounter the women were stamped on the lower arm in order to keep track of how often each woman was frequented."

There was also the matter of the men being able to tell the difference between the 20 ladies who were "available for service" to do "whatever [the men] liked" and the other ladies who were on hand as eye candy only. But the company apparently wasn't interested in doing the tired old name tag thing that you typically see at business events.

The solution? Color-coded wrist bands, of course! "The women wore red and yellow wrist bands. One lot were hostesses, and the others would fulfill your every wish."

And then there were the white wrist bands. Those were worn by the hottest harlots in the harem, who were reserved only for the very top salesmen in the company (plus the pesky company board members).

My reaction to all of this: An event like this would never fly in the States since it was so completely discriminatory. This thing was like a walking employment discrimination lawsuit. What about the company's lady salespeople? No gigolos for them? Please.

And let's not forget the gay dudes. You mean to tell me that out of a group of 100 salesmen, there weren't at least a few gay guys? And all 20 prostitutes were women. Just what in the holy hell were the gay guys supposed to do at this orgy, anyway? Twiddle their thumbs?

This Bossman Was One Brutal Slimeball (Allegedly)

This bossman was a real piece of work and then some (allegedly). Five barmaids in Virginia have written and submitted criminal complaints against their boss, alleging that he gave them a good beating (and a whole lot more), and that he did so over and over in recent months.

He's 54-year-old Henry Fitzsimmons, and he owns the Envy Bar and Grill in Virginia Beach. His barmaids say that the beatings included repeated spankings and that their sleazebucket bossman (allegedly) would often come after them with a damn riding crop! (Apparently he didn't have any buggy whips on hand, and had to settle for the riding crop as a makeshift replacement).

And Fitzsimmons allegedly gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "when I get done with you, you won't sit down for a week." As one barmaid said, "the welts and bruises were so severe that she sometimes couldn't sit down."

But none of that was even the worst of it! At least one of the barmaids is alleging sexual assault by "penetration with an inanimate object." There's also an allegation that the slimejob Fitzsimmons (allegedly) threatened the safety of one barmaid's family "if she didn't commit sexual acts."

Now this scumwad (allegedly) may have to practice with his riding crop in a different kind of joint having neither horses nor barmaids, as he's facing eleven felony counts for sexual battery, assault and battery, and abduction.

But might this creep have some sort of half-ass defense to the charges? Of course! The linked story indicates that the barmaids may have signed some sort of ridiculous employment agreement in which they agreed to "be spanked if certain rules are broken."

If so, and if Fitzsimmons tries to use that as a defense, I think that would be a brand new one in the annals of criminal justice history: Consent to have a felony committed upon your person. While we're at it, why don't we go ahead and add Kill Clauses to every employment contract in the country: "I agree that the bossman can spank, rape or even kill me, but only insofar as I break some of his chickenshit rules."

Sorry, but I don't think that defense is going to play in Peoria, or even on the east coast, as the case may be. Maybe instead, Fitzsimmons can sue the barmaids for breach of contract for "breaking the rules," not to mention ratting him out on the alleged spankings. He's got to get his girls in line, after all, and that riding crop just ain't cutting the mustard anymore.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13454160
http://www.wtkr.com/news/wtkr-man-spanks-employees,0,4838383.story

What Was He Serving, Piss-Sicles & Split Pee Pistachio? "Ice Cream Creep" Allegedly Drives Ice Cream Truck Drunk & Stores His Urine in the Freezer!

This crazy story actually makes a certain degree of sense up to a point, and that's where it all breaks down and goes horribly wrong. I'm talkin' Big Bowl of Frozen Wrong -- and all of the sprinkles and gummy worms in the ice cream parlor ain't gonna sweeten this rotten deal.

The Cops Were Interested in More Than Just the Neopolitan

It all started late last week when cops in suburban Philly received a report of Jack & Jill ice cream truck (similar to the one pictured above) "merrily weaving in and out of traffic" on southbound Route 1. The erratic ice cream truck's rocky road came to a screeching halt minutes later when the cops pulled it over.

From the jump, cops knew there was something amiss in the ice cream vehicle, as "the truck smelled like a giant carton of rum raisin." Cops say the driver -- 46-year-old Yassir Hassan (pictured above in his mugshot) -- looked "bleary" and was completely wasted. Happier than a collie eating a frozen fudge bar.

And he wasn't just headin' home from the bars. Nope, cops say this demented dessert dealer was driving around and guzzling down wine on the job as if vino was goin' outta style. Cops say they found several wine boxes inside the truck.

That Wine's Gotta Go Somewhere

So the picture the cops are alleging shapes up like this: The wine-pounding ice cream peddler was tooling around in the ol' ice cream truck and gettin' his drink on right there on the causeway. And what happens when you binge drink like that? A neverending supply of piss in the bladder, of course.

Which logically explains why cops also found several water bottles "brimming with urine" on Yassir's magical ice cream party van. After all, why bother pulling over at White Castle to use the shithouse when you can just relieve yourself right there on the turnpike? No stop involved, you save a bit of gas and time, and you also put those empty water bottles to constructive use -- sort of like recycling, in a way.

What's that Yellow Stuff Next to the Drumsticks?

But that's where the logic ends faster than Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry crashing into the side of a Dairy Queen. In perhaps "the bust's most chilling detail," cops say that Yassir was storing some of the piss in the truck's freezer next to the ice cream products! Like "yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye." That definitely does not cut the custard with me.

While the linked stories are silent on the issue, unless Yassir was preserving the piss for later use as a crab grass killer or something, there's only one possible reason he'd be freezing urine along with the Dilly Bars: Dude must have been adding the piss in some form to his frozen offerings to the public!

The possibilities here may have been endless. He could have added the bitter liquid to his shaved ice slushes. Or he could have included it as an ice cream topping along with the M&M's and nuts. And don't discount the possibility of the aforementioned piss-sickles and split pee pistachio. And can you say: Banana piss split?

The Rig Had Less Running Water than a Mississippi Shithouse

Now that may not even be the worst part of this whole story: Here you've got this guy allegedly motoring around yanking out Mr. Johnson over and over again to whizz in the water bottles (allegedly), and cops say he had no way of washing his hands on the truck!

And this guy's selling ice cream to little kids! Talk about Poppy gettin' Sloppy.

Put This Knucklehead on Ice in the Freezer -- But Not So Fast...

But now Yassir will probably have to take his little frozen water bottle act to the sort of icehouse where the only things cold are the showers, the concrete and the inhabitants. Cops busted Yassir's chilly ass for DUI.

However, even that might not stop this frozen freak for the time being. Some trusty "officials" from the impound yard where the truck was taken say that since Yassir works as an independent contractor, he "has a legal right to reclaim the truck and go back to selling ice cream" in the area.

And you can't have a situation like that without a good "you might think twice" line. Leave it to the local ABC affiliate to deliver the goods faster than a piss-garnished soft serve out the side of Yassir's truck. Said WPVI-TV: "The next time you see this ice cream man, police say you might want to think twice before you buy that sundae." (Cheesy, but effective.)

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/crime&id=8136953
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/05/18/2011-05-18_ice_cream_man_busted_for_drunk_driving_cops_find_boxes_of_wine_bottles_of_urine_.html?r=news/national

Wife from HELL: Her Old Man Off Serving in the Military Overseas, Texas High School Teacher Allegedly Holds an "Orgy" with Five of Her Male Students!

She didn't just have an affair like so many Bill Clintons, John Edwards and Arnold Schwarzeneggers. Not being a public figure, a mere affair wouldn't have even made the papers. But when you're a teacher and hold a sex romp at your house in which you allegedly bang five different high school students -- well, H-e-l-l-o Publicity!

And it's not that this type of story is even all that unique in this day and age: We see these teachers being charged with having sex with students all the time. My ladies panel in the right sidebar column still has a link to the broad who allegedly banged half the high school football team in some town somewhere.

Nope, what made this Texas teacher's story unique to me was the fact that her hubby is off serving overseas in the military. And again, I note that the old lady didn't just have an affair. Thinking of the old man, I'm immediately reminded of Ray Liotta's line from Goodfellas: "All the shit I have to deal with out on the street, and I gotta come home to THIS!"

Yep, cops in Texas says there were five of them, alright. But first things first. A memo to horny female school teachers everywhere: If you must break the law and let half your male students gangbang you, then for Pete's Sake don't let them record video evidence of the event on their cell phones!

I have this mental image of the lads waiting on line to take a crack at their 27-year-old teacher (and married mother of three), Brittni Colleps, over at her joint. And bored by the wait in line, they would need something to occupy their time. So while waiting their turn to whip something different out, they whipped out their cell phones to record Mrs. Colleps banging the dude(s) ahead of them in line (allegedly).

Who knows if it (and Mrs. Colleps) went down quite that way, but cops say the five teens did record their "sex romp" with Teach on their cell phones. The boys were reportedly at Teach's house by her invitation. Mrs. Colleps teaches at Kennedale High School in Arlington, Texas, where she's an English instructor and girls basketball coach.

Which gets me wondering: Could there have possibly been any English instruction as a part of the other "lessons" she was imparting (allegedly) to the boys at her home that day? If so, I can only imagine some of the things she might have been shouting during the course of the alleged "orgy." For example, the Top Ten utterances could have been:

10. "Come on over here and cross this T, boy!"

9. "You know the rules: No glove, no gerund."

8. "You down there diagramming a sentence? Get to work already!"

7. "Stop talking to me in the passive voice!"

6. "Enough with the abbreviation: Give me the long form!"

5. "Stick that big long adjective right between these two proper nouns."

4. "What are you, a run-on sentence? Get going, 'cause I still gots four boys to bang!"

3. "Don't call me 'baby.' It's Mrs. Colleps -- or 'Teacher' if you're Nasty."

2. "That's right -- End this short story with a bang, babe!"

1. "I've already banged A, E, I and O. Now I want U!"

And I hope it all was worth it, because now Teach may have to schedule her orgies (allegedly) in a different kind of sex palace known as the state hoosegow. She faces five felony counts of "inappropriate relationships between a student and teacher."

That's because even though all five students were 18 at the time, Texas has this pesky little law making it a felony for a teacher to have sex with any student. Damn party poopers, those Texas lawmakers!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388017/Teacher-arrested-sex-FIVE-students-orgy-home.html

Wisconsin Democrat Party Members Call Congressman Paul Ryan a "COWARD" for Choosing to Stay in the House & Not to Run for the Open Senate Seat. Nice!

This is just a quick political topic on which I felt compelled to speak a few words tonight (and to break my general rule of only one main blog post per day). The decision of Ryan (of course, a very powerful GOP representative in the U.S. House) whether or not to run for Wisconsin's newly open U.S. Senate seat in 2012 was something I actually considered blogging about last week, although ultimately I hesitated just because it was such a purely political matter not of general interest to many.

But that changed when I saw tonight that Ryan's ultimate decision this week not to give up his House seat or to run for the Senate in 2012 has been met with cries of "COWARD" from members of the democrat party in Wisconsin (link at bottom/statement above). Several quick observations here:

First, when I first read about Ryan's pending decision last week, it struck me that there was a good chance he would decline to run for the Senate. This dude has risen to an incredibly powerful position in the House just by the age of 40. He would be running a huge risk by tossing his hat into the Senate race, because he could well lose in a statewide race in the extremely leftist state of Wisconsin.

And if that happened, he'd be out in the cold (I presume). No Senate seat, no House seat. Not to mention, if he gets elected to the Senate, he starts all over again in terms of seniority and rising up the ranks. He's already pretty high up in the House, even at his very young age. So no huge surprise to me that he's not running for the Senate.

Second, the democrat party's reaction of "COWARD" immediately reveals their true feelings and shows that Ryan made the right political judgment. Such a completely over-the-top reaction by the democrat party betrays that they really wanted Ryan to run for the Senate because they saw a great opportunity to knock him off, whereas he presumably continues to re-win his House district over and over again every two years for quite awhile to come.

The democrat party saw a golden opportunity to run Ryan's pesky hide out of politics, and Ryan closed the door on them. Frankly, it's rather hilarious, and it resulted in the democrat party acting like immature second graders. I mean -- "Coward"? WTF? What is this, some really bad 1950's TV western? "Yer Yella, Boy!" HA HA leftists!

Third, how about the gall of the leftist 20 percenters in Wisconsin using such crazy rhetoric as calling Ryan a "COWARD"?!? This truly is an age of no common human decency whatsoever between these two parties.

But don't worry, I plan to hang around awhile and point out every single instance I witness of pathetic, mindless, grade school-style indecent behavior by both of these two parties. And I'm the only one out here who has absolutely no hesitation to call out either side. Who else does it?

Fourth, I think Ryan made the correct political decision, and I'm glad to see he'll be staying around. He's one of the very few politicians on the national stage who has impressed me in recent years. Is he way to the right of me? Most def. But he's so completely unlike most politicians because he actually has the courage and conviction to propose real, concrete plans for reducing our stifling $14.3 trillion national debt.

And as noted before in this space, all of the incessant leftist 20 percenter catcalls that Ryan's plan is "draconian," "extreme" and "radical" fall on completely deaf ears with this Independent since the democrat party has no alternative plan of its own. Until they get one, their anti-Ryan rhetoric sounds to me like one of those adults on the Charlie Brown cartoon series: Whaw-Whaw-Whaw, Whaw-Whaw, Whaw-Whaw-Whaw-Whaw...

http://gretawire.blogs.foxnews.com/are-the-wisconsin-democrats-right-about-rep-paul-ryan-or-are-they-just-nasty-and-petty/

THIS Is What I Call Standing Up Against a Slimeball: Healthy Dallas Soccer Mom Whips the Hell Out of Would-Be Mugger! "Turn the Other Cheek" My Ass!

[Preface: This post first appeared briefly last Thursday before Blogger.com crashed for 24 hours and this post disappeared. Today I realized that the post was back as a "draft" on my "Edit Posts" page, and so I thought I'd just re-post it today...]

They'd like us to shut up and "turn the other cheek." We live in a depressing world of slime. Just today, I was having a hard time finding something to write about. I was seeing just more of the same routine sliminess that I see every day. BOR-ING, until...

Just Another Day in Paradise (apologies to Phil Collins)

Same old tired stuff. I see slimy, flip-flopping and/or corrupt politicians named Mitt & Newt running for president. I see a slimy individual named Common participating in events at the White House. I see a slimeball named Osama continuing to be thrust into the headlines for obvious reasons. I see a dangerous leftist billionaire slime named Palpatine (errr, Soros) with his tenacles all into the media. I see the typical rapes, bullyings and murders of people with no protection. I see a slimy pop culture that entices most into paying no attention.

But then I see something different! I see a Dallas mom stickin' up to the slime! Way to go, mama, because make no mistake: They don't want us acting like that. So here we go:

This Would-Be Mugger Picked the Wrong Mama to F*ck With!

Her name is Juliette Sweda (pictured at top). The unassuming Dallas soccer mom was just finishing up a round of grocery shopping as she headed towards her SUV (what else would she drive?!) to unload. Or as the Brits say, "she loaded her groceries into the boot of her people carrier" (link at bottom).

What Juliette didn't know was that a "beady-eyed purse-snatcher was lurking nearby." But more importantly, what the beady-eyed purse-snatcher (reportedly a female herself) didn't know was that Juliette is a trained boxer and "boot-camp leader." [BTW, I'm not precisely sure what it means to be a "boot-camp leader," but it sounds pretty badass and nevertheless much more intimidating than being something like a "band camp leader"].

Apparently thinking that she had spotted some easy prey, the female mugger swiped Juliette's purse from inside the SUV and tried to make a quick beeline to a getaway vehicle. Said Juliette: "I'm shutting the door, and I turn around and here's a woman -- probably around 5'7" with long dreadlocks -- opening my door, reaching in and grabbing my bag."

And the badass boot camper was having none of that. Juliette reportedly gave chase, caught up with the mugger, and grabbed those long dreadlocks. When the slimeball struggled and tried to actually put the damn getaway car in gear, Juliette went Muhammad Ali on her ass and clocked her one right in the kisser with her best "power punch":

"I'm trying to stop her, I'm on top of her, from putting the car in gear, so she tries to put it in reverse and I'm like, 'No, No, I'm getting my bag back' . . . It was a natural reaction. I just threw my power punch, yes, I did."

Juliette also went into further explanation of her boxing technique, which (truth be told) for me conjured up the lyrics to The Hokey Pokey:

"If you're left foot is forward you're jabbing with your left, whereas if your right foot is forward you're jabbing with your right."

As for that sleazejam mugger, Juliette says the cowardly crook "soon realized the fight was lost and promptly handed back the bag." Scumjob.

And any final thoughts from the healthy and heroic soccer mom? "I'm in shape," Juliette proclaimed. Damn right -- "H-e-a-l-t-h-y" just like Madonna in '85!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1386291/Mugger-attacks-boxing-instructor-Juliette-Sweda-loads-car-shopping.html#

"Fend For Yourselves"? It's a Home Alone Nightmare as Slimeball Fla. Parents Allegedly Leave Little Kids Outside in a Tent While Mom & Dad Go to Rehab

It's proof positive that some people who live in trailers are, in fact, "trailer park trash." And when you make the trailer park the setting for a Home Alone story, then you just know it's going to turn into a horror picture, just as it did over the past week in Union County, Florida (allegedly).

Cops there say Daddy (25-year-old Mark Tucker) and Mommy (26-year-old Kathy Tucker) (both pictured above) had a little dilemma on their hands last week. It seems the happy couple needed to head to the local methadone clinic for a little rehab. Only problem? Who was going to take care of the little shits (two daughters aged three and four)?

Granny (who also lives in the couple's trailer home) couldn't do it, since there's apparently something not quite right with Granny (cops say Granny "was not capable of caring for the girls and may not have even known who they were"). [BTW, what gives with Granny, who's probably only in her 50's?] So strike Granny off the list.

But wait! There's Spot the family dog! They don't allow pets in rehab, so Mommy and Daddy reportedly figured they'd task Spot with looking after the girls while the couple was away. ("They did say the children were protected because of the family dog," said the sheriff's office).

And that's how cops say it went down: Mommy & Daddy left the two little girls to "fend for themselves" outside the trailer home in a tent (pictured above), although they did make sure to leave behind the family dog to "protect" the girls. Gee -- good to know Mommy & Daddy were only thinking of the kids!

When someone finally reported to cops that two little girls had been abandoned outside in a tent, the cops showed up to a veritable horror show. "It was just a terrible sight, terrible scene," said one deputy.

Mommy & Daddy reportedly had left no food or water for the girls (when they said "fend for yourselves," they really meant it, damn it). The girls were found filthy and wandering about aimlessly in the woods behind their tent, clad only in pajamas. One had lost a shoe.

They were also reportedly "starving" and "desperate for food and water," which "was the first thing the children asked for." No word on the absent parents' reaction to this situation, but something tells me they'd probably try to point the finger at Spot for his bad parenting skills.

Mommy and Daddy, meantime, were reportedly in no real hurry to get home after they completed their rehab session. Instead, they were allegedly more worried about making some dough in town by selling their blood plasma at a donation station. After all, you can't feed those little shits on good intentions alone, no?

Regardless, Mommy and Daddy's "we left the dog to look out for them" defense apparently didn't carry much weight with the cops, who threw the couple in the clink on child neglect charges late last week.

If these sleazebuckets ultimately have to spend some real hard time in the hoosegow, here's hoping they don't get the comfort of a cell but instead are forced to live in a tent out in the prison yard like they made their little girls do (allegedly). And as for their water and grub, let them "fend for themselves" out there. An eye for an eye, as they say.

For now, the girls have been placed with other relatives. The sheriff's office and local juvy department say they're now working to help the girls and find "a safer environment" than the one that Mommy and Daddy offered. "Safer" than that? Methinks an Afghanistan war zone might be the only place in the world less safe than livin' with the Tuckers.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1387408/Young-girls-desperate-food-water-parents-forced-live-outside-tent.html#
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/05/15/2011-05-15_two_kids_left_to_fend_for_selves_in_tent_outside_mobile_home_by_parents_cops.html?r=news
http://www.gainesville.com/article/20110511/ARTICLES/110519920/-1/entertainment?Title=Lake-Butler-couple-accused-of-leaving-preschoolers-alone-in-tent&tc=ar