Custard Caper: Cheap Ice Cream Parlor Customer Allegedly Swipes Cone, Then Takes a Swipe at Female Store Worker for Good Measure!

I think this dude had brain freeze before he even went in the joint. Cops in Long Island say 59-year-old William Hotz had the hots for some free cold eats last week down at the Carvel ice cream parlor. But when a female worker gave Hotz a chilly reception, a 21st Century cold war broke out right there in the damn store (allegedly)!

It seems Hotz (pictured above/link below) was looking to use an old coupon to get his cone for free. But nothin' doing on that frosty front! One of the broads who worked there reportedly told Hotz no dice since the coupon was expired. This soft serve lovin' Hotz suddenly owed $3.50, and he apparently was none too happy about the sorbet situation...

Cops say the alleged pistachio poacher grabbed the cone without paying and made a stone cold scurry for the exits. When the broad confronted the ice cream creep outside, he allegedly clocked her one right in the kisser. But Hotz was just getting warmed up at that point (allegedly)...

Cops say this rocky road rogue Hotz next took to punching the female dessert dish several more times in the mush, resulting in a swollen face and a pie hole that looked something like a banana split.

And when cops showed up, it wasn't like this Hotz was gonna melt like so many fudge sundaes. The neopolitan numskull allegedly resisted arrest, "flailing his arms about and twisting his body" out of cops' reach.

Cops were finally able to put Hotz on ice and scoop his vanilla ass down to the local freezer. And that free cone may turn out to be one of the most expensive ice creams in history, as Hotz faces robbery charges and an extended stay in the icehouse. Wonder if he at least got his coupon back?

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Ice-Cream-Store-Theft-Valley-Stream-Holtz-Arrest-205741841.html?gg

Shitter Scandal: Air Passenger Faces Shitstorm, Gets Detained After Allegedly Raising a Stink By Not Flushing the Plane Toilet! But Now HE'S Suing...

It seems like a rather foul way to get back at some stewardesses who diss you (allegedly): I mean, literally stinking up the joint?!?  52-year-old passenger Salvatore Bevivino was on a Virgin America flight from Philly to San Fran when he says the stewardesses gave him a hassle and treated him like a stinkbug for simply wanting a refreshing soft drink...

But the airline says the parched passenger's reaction really stunk. Bevivino allegedly headed straight for the plane's shithouse -- and not to take a powder.

Instead, he allegedly emerged a little later "with a smile on his face," an unflushed mess in the crapper, and an open door behind him. Only adding to the stench, claims the airline, the pissed pooper (allegedly) went potty mouth and started tossing around some obscenities at the stewardesses.

On the ground in San Fran, this alleged stinkpot Bevivino was detained by federal cops as a "person of suspicion" for the ill-smelling incident and his other alleged ass-stink antics -- although he was eventually released.

And now Bevivino has turned the tepidarium tables on the airline, suing it for $500,000 for its "vindictive" stewardesses and for alleged false imprisonment and discrimination. Sounds to me like that smile never left his face (allegedly).

http://mobile.philly.com/news/?wss=/philly/news&id=205261751&viewAll=y#more

Brain Dead: Disgusting New Poll Finds 42% of Americans Are UNAWARE That Obamacare Monstrosity Is the Law of the Land! BUT Is This Really Very Surprising?

It remains a continuing disheartening fact that such a huge swath of the American populace is wholly ignorant of even the most basic of political facts. Ignorance is bliss!, said that bald slimeball from The Matrix.

But note therein one of the myriad differences between me and the leftist 20 percenters. The leftist believes most of the population is downright stupid. Regular idiots. Not capable of thinking for themselves. Not capable of taking care of themselves. So it's up to the great leftist 20 percenter braintrusts to handle that job for everyone. Bleh!

You see, I don't think these political ignoramuses nationwide need a nanny nor a big brother. What they could use, in contrast, is a good swift kick in the ass. Or at least a good talking to, as that Limey Caretaker/Butler dude from The Shining might say.

There is more to life, my fellow Americans, than Entertainment Tonight and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Better look around once in awhile, or you might just miss it (to paraphrase the famous John Hughes character a few years back).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgd46QiHz4I
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/04/obamacare-poll-finds-42-of-americans-unaware-its-law/

CNN to Bring Back Old Dinosaur Leftist vs. Right-Winger Debate Show "Crossfire," Possibly w/ Pathological Liar Stephanie Cutter & Slimeball Newt Gingrich as Hosts: Don't Do It, CNN, Without Better Talent than THAT...

I grew up watching Crossfire on CNN. But that was before the dark times of the past 13 years. Crossfire's original time period was an era in which even leftist 20 percenters and deranged right-wingers could speak to each other and debate issues in an intelligent fashion and without all the hate and third-grade style ad hominem attacks of today. But 9-11 and the 2000 election seemed to send all of these people off the deep end, and things have never been the same since...

Some of my favorite political pundits are old former Crossfire hosts, even if I don't hold with their group-thinking, totem-pole-style, extremist views of the world. I'm thinking of names such as Bob Novak, Juan Williams, Pat Buchanan, Bob Beckel, Michael Kingsley, and Fred Barnes, among others.

I still recall living in the ol' trailer court in the early 90's ("Walnut Hills" on Old 63, baby!) during my sophomore and junior years at the University of Missouri, when my roommate and I would typically catch Crossfire most nights at 6 p.m. as we ate our supper (BTW, I was more of a Hamburger Helper man for my typical eats, while Justin was a much better cook in terms of his grub -- an Aristocrat, you might say! But I digress...)

Which brings me to the current state of affairs: Great that CNN is trying to bring back the old show -- but with the sleazy likes of Stephanie Cutter and Newt Gingrich as hosts!?!?! Why not just turn over the show to a Pinocchio doll and a Georgia shithouse?

IF the show comes back, I want to see hosts on the right and left who can speak like reasonable human beings to each other. Which, alas, brings me to a tandem that I would recommend for CNN to go after: Fox News' Sean Hannity (deranged right-winger) and former Obama cabinet member Austan Goolsbee (loony leftist 20 percenter). Their debates on Hannity's show are always lively and entertaining, and they don't even have to call vile names! Such a novel concept over there.

http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2013/04/cnn-in-talks-with-newt-gingrich-stephanie-cutter-for-162439.html

New "Research": "Parents Who Tell Children to Finish Everything on Their Plates Are Fueling Obesity." Rager to Researcher: G-F-Y!

Keep your nanny state advice to yourself, University of Minnesota. It's real simple what you tell these rotten little punks when they don't feel like cleaning their plate:  "YOU TOOK IT, NOW YOU EAT IT!"

And if the little shit gives ya any lip from there (e.g., "boo hoo, I took too much!"), then tell him that "this'll teach ya next time not to be such a damn glutton!"  Issue resolved.

See, we don't need Universities or Mayor Bloomberg or Michelle Obama to tell parents (or local school districts, for that matter) how to best raise kids, or how to parent them, or how to police their diets.  It ain't your job, leftist 20 percenters.  Buzz the hell off, already.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WT-fxBNKs8
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2313581/Parents-tell-children-finish-plates-fuelling-obesity.html

Dong So Wrong: A Warning to Ladies Everywhere, as Disgraced Former democrat party Congressman Anthony's Weiner Whips Out a New Twitter Account This Week!

Anthony's Weiner, of course, was forced to pull out of Congress a few years back after Tweeting various scantily clad pics of himself and his Congressional member to young ladies (who were not his wife, Huma's Weiner), then lying about it, and finally getting caught in the lie.

In New York, apparently, these sorts of shaft shenanigans qualify one to become mayor of the Big Apple, as "it's widely believed he's running to be the next mayor of the city" (link below).

But run or no run, I would've thought that the prickly Anthony's Weiner might've learned his lesson the last time about allowing his John Thomas within 10 miles of Twitter. You can't lead a baloney pony to water without expecting the results to stink.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/04/22/178476916/anthony-weiner-makes-twitter-comeback
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/anthony-weiner-creates-new-twitter-account_718205.html

"Gabe the Dog Rescued After Falling into Uncovered MANHOLE," Reports Local Kansas City News Outlets. Let's Clean Up the Language, People!

According to the linked report from 41 Action News late last week, "a black lab trapped inside an Olathe sewer was rescued Thursday night . . . after he fell into an uncovered manhole full of rushing water while being walked by his owner." The very same type of crass language was used on this story by other KC media outlets as well. Just awful...

As I've explained previously, this isn't 1985. The correct term is "person-hole" (or "sewer hole" if you prefer). What, only a dude can toil down inside a hole?

What gets my goat is the fact that these midget-minded media outlets still keep making this mistake. This kind of jive is worse than that stewardess broad in the old "Airplane" picture. I mean, I don't know why a good illegal immigrant would even want to come to this country when we've got a press that acts like this.

And while I've never fully understood why radical Islamic terrorists hate America so much, might just this sort of media behavior be a contributing factor? I'm as dumbfounded as a drunken hobo in a Georgia shithouse over here. 

http://www.kshb.com/dpp/news/region_kansas/johnson_county/search-underway-after-dog-falls-in-olathe-manhole

Gallup: Only 4% of Americans See Gun Control As a Top Problem in the Nation, Despite DC's Complete Infatuation with the Issue Recently...

Must suck to be a leftist 20 percenter (or should I now call them leftist 4 percenters?) or a right-winger ideologue slug in the gop-er or democrat party: Always completely out of touch, them, with the issues that actually mean something to average Americans...

What unemployment rate? What economy? What national debt? Especially when we've got all these partisan sleazes around to focus on the real issues of the day for us.

Maybe next week they can turn their attention back to birth control, gay marriage, and the preferred race of someone who commits an act of terrorism. Only the important stuff!

http://www.gallup.com/poll/161813/few-guns-immigration-nation-top-problems.aspx

Now That Was Cool: Episode 1 of SyFy Network's New Series "Defiance" Kicks Ass, But I Would Caution That It Was ONLY the Pilot...

"Defiance" (first episode Monday night) tells the science fiction story of a world (in particular, a rundown futuristic St. Louis, Missouri) some three decades in the future following a world war between invading aliens of various and highly diverse species against the humans. An armistice was declared some 15 years earlier, but the humans can only co-exist so well with the aliens, and the various alien species/races are even worse at co-existing amongst each other!, it seems...

But what made the show very entertaining for me was the writing, acting and characters: It reminded me a lot of some swashbuckling 80's (or earlier) action adventure film or series, full of larger-than-life heroes and heroines who enjoy needling each other and being self-deprecating almost as much as they love whipping some slimeball's ass...

Not to mention, (1) the obvious Han Solo angle when the anti-hero pursues self-interest and declines participating in the big battle, only to change his mind and return (as does his badass daughter), and (2) the fact that you can never go wrong casting the likes of Graham Greene and Jaime Murray in the same piece of work!

In short, it was a ton of fun. But alas, I've been taken in before. I've watched many an outstanding pilot for a new series, only to observe how much things went way downhill once the regular episodes began. For now, I'll be looking forward to and watching the next "Defiance." But I've come to hate vouching for anything or anyone. So don't disappoint me, lest you wish to garner some of my real Rager defiance, "Defiance"!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maureen-ryan/defiance-review_b_3082390.html

Mammary Monday: It Certainly Wasn't a Slow Weekend for Breasts...

To wit, and from the top:

-Good Gazongas! Salma Hayek struts around Beverly Hills with an unbuttoned, "skin-tight cardigan accenting her assets."  Frankly, I never knew she had 'em (not quite like THOSE, Leastways)!

-Bap in Black: Socialite Tamara Ecclestone busts out a "tight black frock" in London. The world could use more of these socialites.

-Balcony Open:  I saw a story this weekend that it's actually good for a broad's bazooms to go bra-less. But trust me, ladies, any reason will due.  That's model and actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley above, sans the bra in West Hollywood last week.

-"Rise and Shine":  A shapely shoeshine dame on Wall Street focuses on the feet while you focus on the meat puppets. If she starts tossing in a lap dance on top of that shine, then I'm headin' straight for south Manhattan, baby!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2308133/Busty-Salma-Hayek-draws-attention-voluptuous-figure-bright-yellow-skin-tight-cardigan.html
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/rise_and_shine_tEtMZKROW0sqDDibxG552O
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2307707/Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley-shows-sensational-figure-tight-halterneck-sweater-sheer-skirt.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2307903/Tamara-Ecclestone-shows-tattoos-tight-little-black-dress-My-Beautiful-Ball.html

[Postscript: Obviously, this post was written over the weekend and posted some 15 hours before the Boston Marathon Bombing occurred.  And you terrorists can G-F-Y if you think I'll yank down MY POST just because you went and murdered people like the sub-human slugs that you are.  Frankly, I'm inclined not to give you slimes even the time of day beyond this quick mention.  I've already written my Wednesday post, and you sleazes are mentioned nary once within it. Ha Ha!] 

"Drink Till You Drop: California Bill Allows 4:00 a.m. Last Call"! Contrary to Prior Statements, Maybe I Do Need to Ponder a Move to the Land of Freaks & Nuts...

I'm tempted to take back every rotten thing I've ever said about Cali.  Sure, it might be the most far leftist state in the country (although New York would whack me out for that assertion). And yes, Cali treats its taxpayers as if they're lucky to be taking home even one red cent from their damn paychecks. Of course also, Cali heaps more regulations on individuals and businesses than a Fidel Castro wet dream...

However, what's a little incursion into personal freedoms between friends, no? Especially when we're talking about one of the first states that might keep the booze flowing statewide until 4:00 a.m. or a little after every night (link below)!?!

But oh yeah, I almost forget that I don't do that shit no more. If only this new California law had come around a bit earlier -- the loony leftist 20 percenter state of California might've just had me at hello!  Damn pesky intervening years.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_LAST_CALL?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-04-09-05-26-01

"As For the Action, I Liked It!" Russian Pres Putin Praises Topless Protesters Who Put on a Show for Him & German Chancellor Merkel This Week. Why Can't These Broads Ever Show Up for Obama?

All of we get from Obama are the endless campaign speeches (even after the campaign is over) in which he says the same vaguely and not-so-vaguely disguised leftist talking points over and over again (see my State of the Union coverage). Boring!...

Obama's minions should recruit some of these hot little European numbers from this "women's rights group Femen" to spruce up Obama's typically sleep- inducing public appearances...



These cute little dishes apparently dislike Putin's penchant for acting like a "dictator" (including his jailing of the punk group "Pussy Riot" last year), and I'm sure they'd also be willing to take off them tops for the likes of Obama -- who's never met an executive order or other generally overbearing executive action that he doesn't like.

Obama could even ready up a few quick one-liners to say in response to the boob show, ala Putin. I'd personally suggest: "See your rack? You didn't build that."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/vladimir-putin/9978447/Bemused-Vladimir-Putin-and-Angela-Merkel-confronted-by-topless-Femen-protester-in-Hanover.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2305706/That-s-eye-opener-Putin-

SHOCK: Georgia High School Reportedly Still Holds Separate Proms for Black and White Students! Is This 1913?

I had to look at the date on this story from late last week (link below) just to make sure it wasn't an April Fools item. It reports that Wilcox County High School in rural Georgia still holds (and apparently only allows students to attend) segregated proms and homecoming dances, meaning separate dances for whites and blacks...

On the bright side of this sad state of affairs, a group of students of both races is rebelling against the disgusting dance policy and is organizing an "integrated" prom where people of both races will have the freedom to attend together. Such a progressive concept over there! (Whoops, I just used the P-Word. Sorry.)

This sick story also got me thinking: Maybe I've been a bit too hard on such places as Alabama and Mississippi, always singling them out and what not as bastions of racism and outdoor shitter use...

So going forward, I'll be sure to sprinkle some "Georgia shithouse" references into the blog. Although, that leaves me with a bit of a quandary: Do I need to specify the race of said shithouse (since I can only assume the public shitters down in Wilcox County remain "separate but equal" to this day)?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2303732/Segregated-prom-Students-fight-integrated-prom-Georgia-county-minorities-banned-white-school-dance.html

She Ain't Shorty, She's My Lover: "Nashville" Hottie Hayden Panettiere, All of 5'1", Appears Set to Tie the Knot with Boxing Giant Wladimir Klitschko! Got Me Thinking...

Oftentimes the short stuff can be the hot stuff. Hot is hot, no matter if you're a damn Amazon or near a midget. And the reported Hayden-Klitschko engagement left me pondering the question of who are some of hottest little tiny celebrities walking the planet today? To wit, here's 10 (and in no particular order):



-Carmen Electra: 5 feet and 2 inches of absolute glamour model, Baywatch love!



-Elisha Cuthbert: There's plenty north of the border on the smallish 5'2" Canadian actress.



-Lacey Chabert: Why in the hell is the 5'3" Chabert known as much for her voice acting as her on-screen work? Get this hot little number on camera for cryin' out loud!



-Lucy Liu: When is Sherlock Holmes finally going to get it on with the 5'2" "Elementary" star? The sexual tension on that show rings louder than a Geiger counter in an Alabama shithouse.



-Sarah Michelle Gellar: Don't ever call Buffy stumpy, even if she is only 5'2".



-Ashanti: This extremely hot shorty singer is actually the giant of my list, measuring in at a robust 5'3"-and-a-half plus.  OH MY!



-Tila Tequila: At only 4'11", how in the hell does she lug those big things around?



-Jessica Simpson: Some (including likely her) claim Jessica is 5'3" or taller, but I have it on good authority (i.e. an unsubstantiated anonymous comment on an obscure website) that this blonde broad is really only 5'1".



-Eva Longoria: This 5'1" Latin firebrand (ass pictured above) could be 7'1" or 4'1" for all I care. Good Grief.



-Charlene Tilton: Sure she doesn't look quite the same anymore (who does?), but those of us who grew up in the 80's all had the teenage hots for the tiny (4'11") "Dallas" star who played the "sly, vixenish" Lucy Ewing. The Barbie Doll-esque Charlene will ALWAYS stand tallest on my shorty hot list bench!

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-hayden-panettiere-wladimir-klitschko-glamour-20130402,0,5900835.story