Ouch-O-Bama! Ultra-Boring Mitt Romney Polls Ahead of Obama for 2012 & Columnist Calls Obama "The New W." The White House Must Be Fumin' Like a Feech!

I was rather shocked at new polling data showing that Boring White Male Retread Republican Mitt Romney would beat Obama in New Hampshire by a fairly hefty margin if the 2012 presidential election were held this weekend (link at bottom). Romney is currently thought of as sort of a quasi-favorite to win the GOP nomination for "Election Day" (video at bottom) 2012, with Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump as his strongest potential challengers.

The new poll from Ivy League Dartmouth College's Nelson A. Rockefeller Center shows Romney whipping Obama's ass by eight percentage points (47% to 39%) in New Hampshire if the election was held this weekend. These can't be considered bright numbers for the president seeing as that he kicked McCain's Tired Old Ass by nine percentage points (54% to 45%) in New Hampshire in 2008.

Not to mention, Mitt Freakin' Romney?!? I literally "Laughed Out Loud" when I saw this story. I mean, just look above at this goof (pictured above beside right-wing nut job Sharron Angle), this stiff, this bore, this dupe, this cadaver, this completely uninspiring oaf of a deranged right-winger!

It's why I've been saying for months that sitting president Obama probably wins reelection in 2012: The likely GOP field of challengers -- including Romney -- is about as exciting as swatting flies in a Mississippi Shithouse.

And what, pray tell, might you guess that the linked article from Politico.com attributes Romney's surprising numbers to (sorry to end sentence on a preposition, Jeeves)? BINGO! Damn Pesky Independents!

Romney leads Obama by eight percentage points -- not coincidentally the very same spread (44% to 36%) by which New Hampshire Independents currently favor Romney over Obama. I don't often say that We Independents Decide Your Election Outcomes for nothing, after all.

Additionally, whatever minions at the White House whom Obama assigns to monitor his weekend news coverage can't be too happy at the linked column from the Arizona Republic, which brands Obama as "The New W."

The column is an interesting read, but hardly original. Hell, I've been comparing and equating Obama and W Bush for at least a year now in this space. Those two fools remain, hands down, the two worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime (and I've lived through Jimmy Carter and part of Nixon).

Put another way in Rock Legend: "Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss." (Here's hoping that America Won't Get Fooled Again. Watch the video at bottom, and in particular The Madman -- the Greatest Rock'n'Roll Drummer of All-Time, Keith Moon, in what must have been not too far in advance of his 1978 death. Hey, he Died Before He Got Old -- wasn't that the Plan? But I digress).

Indeed, some of this Obama news from this weekend must have the White House fumin' like a Feech, as noted at the top. Specifically, I'm referring to one Michele "Feech" La Manna -- the hilarious foul-mouthed and extremely hot-tempered gangster from Season 5 of "The Sopranos."

The only thing that ever disappointed with Feech was the fact that his run on "The Sopranos" was so damn short. He had such a penchant for constantly blowing his stack at anyone and everyone around him, that even huge-tempered boss Tony Soprano quickly arranged for Feech -- who'd just been paroled out the joint -- to get nailed with a trumped up parole violation in order to send Feech's hot-headed old ass right back to the hoosegow.

Watch Feech's greatest "hits" and highlights from his short run on that show here (my personal favorite is when Feech beats the holy hell out of a lawn & garden man who rubs Feech the wrong way):



Feech vs. Paulie Walnuts YARD WARS:


Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Feech was played by Robert Loggia -- a truly badass actor who has just as much of a temper as Feech himself. In short, Loggia's like a Disturbed "Animal."

Loggia got into a physical altercation with Al Pacino while auditioning for Scarface after Pacino was late and "half asleep" for the audition (Loggia says he "shook Pacino's cage"). Following the run-in, Pacino reportedly told the casting director, "I want Bob" in Scarface (in which he did appear as Drug Kingpin Frank Lopez).

Loggia also once threw famed director David Lynch into a wall ("I rattled his cage") when Lynch showed up late for Loggia's audition for the 1986 film Blue Velvet (one of my favorite old films). Lynch, like Pacino, was actually impressed by Loggia's temper and cast Loggia in 1997's Lost Highway (even though Loggia didn't get a role in Blue Velvet). (Check the Comments section below for an article detailing these various Loggia anecdotes).

But more important than any of that, Loggia is also a fellow journalism grad from the University of Missouri (Class of '51), which means that he's well-educated. In contrast, Obama (just like "W" of course) is an Ivy League graduate, meaning he's a condescending, elitist snob.

Give me a fellow hot-headed, ill-tempered Mizzou grad and "Mizzou mafia" member (i.e. MU J grad) any day of the week over your prototypical 20 percenter leftist. Shit, forget Trump. Loggia For President; ROCK AND ROLL!

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0411/53570.html
http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/viewpoints/articles/2011/04/23/20110423obama-thomma.html

Would Any of the Best Dads in History -- Ward, Cliff, Charlie, Don Vito, Archie -- Ever Whack Out Their Own Son Like This Piece of Work (Allegedly)?

[Preface: Don Vito Corleone's son did whack out his own brother, but that's a different matter. The hits carried out by an adult son should not be extrapolated to the father -- especially after the old man had long since keeled over dead out in the vegetable garden.]

The Greatest Old Mans in History

Would Ward Cleaver ever push a button on The Beaver? Or on Wally for that matter?



Would Cliff Huxtable ever take out a contract on Theo's head?



Would Archie Bunker ever go dingbat and order a rub out of his beloved Little Girl Gloria?



Heck, even Charlie Sheen by all accounts is a decent father apart from the awful example he sets for his little shits.

[Note: I purposefully excluded from my list of best historical Old Mans both (1) Homer Simpson (whom I seem to recall trying to strangle and/or kill son Bart at various junctures during the ongoing 63-year run of "The Simpsons")...



...and (2) Tony Soprano (who may have largely left son A.J. alone but neverthesless whacked out both his own nephew Christopher and his own cousin Tony B -- recall the whole Joey Peeps fiasco referenced earlier this week).]



The "Vinny Gorgeous" Trial

Which brings us to the other Old Man pictured at the top: Dominick "Quiet Dom" Cirillo -- a former acting boss and high-ranking member of the Genovese organized crime family in New York. A videotape recording introduced in a New York courtroom this week indicates that Quiet Dom actually gave the order to whack out his own boy!

[They called him "Quiet Dom," BTW, because he tended to keep rather quiet -- it wasn't one of those Bizarro World nicknames, like calling a big fat tub of goo, "Tiny," or anything like that].

The locals in the Big Apple call it the "Vinny Gorgeous trial." In a Brooklyn federal court, former acting boss of one of the other New York crime families (the Bonannos) -- Vincent "Vinny Gorgeous" Basciano -- is on trial for his life on a murder charge. (The Bonannos, BTW, were the crime family depicted in the motion picture Donnie Brasco).

This week, the jury in the case watched a videotape recording in which Vinny Gorgeous was talking to another former Bonanno acting boss -- Joseph Massino. What Vinny Gorgeous didn't realize at the time (2005) was that Massino was working with the feds and had arranged for the secret recording to take place. (It seems that Massino was willing to turn rat to avoid the death penalty on a murder rap of his own).

During the recorded conversation, Vinny Gorgeous and the rat fink Massino started talking about Quiet Dom's son, Nicholas Cirillo (whom I'll call Nicky, since there's no way he wasn't called that (sorry for the double negative)). Nicky was a lower-level gangster associate in 2004 and not yet a "made" member of La Cosa Nostra (an important fact -- read on...).

Nicky Gets Whacked Out

During that time frame, the 41-year-old Nicky reportedly got into a physical and verbal altercation with Vinny Gorgeous' son Junior (close to being "made" at the time) and Bonanno Capo Dominick Cicale (obviously a made man given his caporegime position).

Nicky vanished in 2004 and his body was never found. Suffice it to say he's either with Luka Brassi sleeping with the fishes or he's with Jimmy Hoffa trying to push up daisies through the concrete foundation of the Meadowlands stadium (allegedly).

It's widely thought that Nicky got whacked out because he had assaulted a made man (Cicale), not to mention a near-made man and son of Vinny Gorgeous (Junior). You can't do that shit. Ever seen Goodfellas?

[In that film, Joe Pesci's Tommy DeVito character (not yet made) whacks out Billy Batts (a made man played by Frank Vincent) over a shoe shine boy slight, but ultimately Tommy gets whacked too for breaking the rules: Until they open the books and make you, you can't kill or even lay your hands on a "Friend of Ours."]

So we have Nicky gettin' whacked over the Cicale/Junior "row," with the only question being who gave the order? You might think it was probably Junior's daddy Vinny Gorgeous, wouldn't you?

Rats, Revelations & Videotape with Vinny Gorgeous

But not so fast! And now back to that videotape: Vinny Gorgeous and that rat Massino are talking about this very issue of who ordered Nicky's killing, and Vinny Gorgeous says to the rat (he says, he says), "That came from Dom, that came from Dom."

While it seems fairly obvious that it "came from Dom" means the order to whack Nicky came from Nicky's old man, Quiet Dom (since "is" still means "is" even after Bill Clinton), that point was only confirmed and hammered home by Massino's trial testimony this week.

When asked what Vinny Gorgeous meant by "that came from Dom," Massino testified: "I understand that he's telling me Quiet Dom killed his son." Ouch. Methinks even Slick Willie himself couldn't talk his way out of this one.

But It Wasn't Just That Damn Pesky Videotape!

There seems to be plenty of other corroborating evidence as well. First, Quiet Dom and son Nicky were reportedly "estranged." Second, Quiet Dom refused to cooperate with the cops investigating Nicky's disappearance and was reportedly "evasive" when cops questioned him about it.

Third, there's another rule in the mafia that whacking out a made man's son means that you'll get whacked -- even if you're a made man yourself. So it would have been some real serious slimeball shit between the Bonannos and Genoveses if the Bonannos' Vinny Gorgeous -- rather than the Genoveses' Quiet Dom -- had ordered Nicky to be massacred.

So what we're left with is a very strong case that Quiet Dom actually ordered the murder of his own son, as if the boy was some kind of "Bad Girlfriend." The whole thing even went down on Mother's Day 2004! I mean, Homer Simpson and Tony Soprano would have waited a month for Father's Day to roll around, at least!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/the_mob/2011/04/22/2011-04-22_tape_in_vinny_gorgeous_trial_reveals_mob_king_dominick_quiet_dom_cirillo_oked_hi.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379590/Quiet-Dom-mob-king-Dominick-Cirillo-OKed-murder-gangster-son-Mothers-Day.html?ITO=1490#

420 to the Extreme: Third Grader "Gives Teacher Some of Her Mom's Weed"! What Ever Happened to Apples? And Who Was the Teacher, Dr. Johnny Fever?

This one's from W-K-R-G in Pen-Sa-Co-La (among other sources):

I've heard of celebrating St. Fatty's Day, but this is a little rash, even by the typical standards of 420 observance:

Cops in Pensacola, Florida have launched a full-scale investigation into the whereabouts of a wayward mother after her 8-year-old daughter brought some of mama's marijuana to school this week and gave it to her teacher -- apparently as a damn gift!

Holy Smokes! Just a few days ago, we had that kindergartener packin' heat at a grade school in Houston, and now we've got a third grader packin' paca lolo! What's getting into these rotten little punks? And who the hell is raising them, anyway? Herb Tarlek and Jennifer Marlowe? I gotta say, I'm growing kinda tired of all this packing, town to town, up and down the dial.

At any rate: Cops say this tree-totin' tike whipped the weed right out of her pocket around 2 p.m. Tuesday and gave it to her third grade teacher at Lincoln Park Elementary School.

And that act wasn't without a little color commentary from this La La-lovin' lad: "This is some of my mom's weed," crowed the girl to her teacher!

This Reggie-carrying rug rat just couldn't keep her big Venus Flytrap shut and even offered a little third grade edumacation of her own to the teacher by explaining what the Hog Leg was for: "It's what my mother puts in blunts," said the little punk (in reference to the practice of hollowing out a cigar and cramming combustible herbage inside).

Now, how would you expect ol' teach to react? "Get your ass to the principal's office," maybe? (And I don't care if that office had real walls or not). But not here. The teacher reportedly waited until later in the afternoon "until the child was on the school bus" to report her little "gift" to the principal.

My first question: Did teach head to the Shithouse at any point during those intervening moments between (1) the gift and (2) school bus time? Just sayin'. Kub Coda (and Michael Lutz) wrote "Smokin' in the Boys Room" for a reason, after all. The time sequence here stinks worse than a Silver Sow award on a newsman's mantle.

Regardless, teach's little delay permitted that schwag-schleppin' stripling to make a successful getaway. Nice one, teach! If she'd just reported this thing to the Big Guy right from the Gordon Jump, then Phil the Dog wouldn't be barking. Well -- actually -- cops say the kid isn't facing any charges, so forgetaboutit.

But the Mom! Cops are all over her case like a bandage on Les Nessman. Only problem? They can't find the old lady. They went to her listed Bailey Quarters and found no mom. Apparently mama's lamming it, and cops so far have been unable to get a make on where that jib-jobbing Jackyl (allegedly) is holed up.

Now, neither the punk's nor the mom's name is being released by cops. But if we later learn that the kid's called "Pippi" and that mama goes by the name of Mary Jane Longstocking, let's just say that I ain't gonna be shocked over here.

Finally, I'm not big on lecturing people (other than slimeball partisans and politicians), so I'll let the cops do it for me. Said local sheriff's deputy Chril Welborn:

"A good many societal problems are a result of irresponsible parenting. Children are being raised in an atmosphere that drugs and violence are normal. It's sad that this child had access to the stuff and was actually able to bring it to school."

What he said. Hell Yeah, says Rev Theory. Couldn't have said it better if he was Andy Travis.

http://www.wkrg.com/education/article/third-grader-brings-marijuana-to-school/1206332/Apr-20-2011_3-34-pm/
http://www.pnj.com/article/20110420/NEWS01/110420034/Girl-8-brings-mom-s-marijuana-school?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE%7Cp
http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/21/2178854/student-gives-teacher-some-of.html

He Was a Nicotine Fiend, Literally: Subway Hobo Allegedly Goes Joe Pesci, Slashes Up Woman's Face w/ a Pen, After She Asks Him Not to Smoke on Train!

This was like something out of the '90s motion picture Casino (video at the top). In that scene, Joe Pesci takes exception to a few choice words uttered by another guy at a bar and then proceeds to stab the guy about the head, neck and breast with a pen. (Amusingly, that scene was not even close to being the most violent scene in that film, but I digress).

That scene showed that it's never a good idea to insult a "Friend of Mine" of a Made Man, just like (apparently) it's a not good idea on the subway to try to stop a homeless bum from lighting up a cigarette. And I betcha 45-year-old Evelyn Seeger won't ever try that one again.

Cops in the Big Apple say it all started earlier this week when 35-year-old vagrant Caroberto Cordero tried to fire up a fag right there on the train. Mind you, smoking's not allowed on NYC subways, as you might've guessed.

Evelyn got wind of what this tobacco-tokin' tramp was trying to pull off and asked him not to smoke on the train. But all that accomplished was to get the ciggy-lovin' vagabond all riled up, turning him into one "All-American Nightmare" (allegedly)!

First he reportedly "produced a huge lighter" and "began waving a high flame in front of [Evelyn's] face." Said one eyewitness: "I saw the flame from the lighter - it was a few inches high. It was pretty hardcore."

This little cat-and-mouse flame game apparently went on for a spell, as one witness says "he was lighting the flame in her face, taunting her with the flame, and she was yelling 'stop it!'"

The next thing you know, Evelyn was reportedly all up in this flaming floater's grill and trying to snatch the huge cigarette lighter from his hands -- an effort that witnesses say was ultimately successful. But that's when all hell broke loose!

His lovable lighter now confiscated, witnesses say Coroberto proceeded to "throw a nicotine fit," "whipped out a pen, and plunged it into the woman's head." Witnesses say the "crazed homeless man" used the pen to slash Evelyn's face "right from her temple to her nose." This homeless hack the ripper also allegedly stabbed Evelyn in the eye just for good measure.

[The linked account from Britain's Daily Mail actually makes a joke about this deranged gypsy not having access to a Blackberry like the ordinary subway commuter, which forced the gasper-puffing gasher to "resort to more old-fashioned technology" when it came to his weapon of choice (allegedly). That's sick.]

With "blood gushing" from Evelyn's face, "pandemonium broke out as passengers desperately tried to get out of the way." Some of the passengers also ran to tell the conductor what had happened.

While I'd think that getting the quickest medical attention for Evelyn would have been the top priority, the conductor reportedly slowed down the train because he wanted to make sure the cops had time to get to the station before the train arrived there.

Meantime, Evelyn was still bleeding. Passengers reportedly ran from car to car shouting the proverbial "is there a doctor in the house," which apparently yielded no takers.

Ultimately, about the only medical attention Evelyn received on the train came in the form of some paltry napkins from fellow passengers "to staunch her wounds." She was finally taken to a hospital, where the latest reports list her in stable condition. "It was the craziest train ride I've ever had," spouted one passenger.

As for that coffin nailin' crazy, Cordero -- cops busted his homeless hide on charges of felony assault and criminal possession of a weapon. So it looks like this face-hacking hobo (allegedly) will be inhaling his cancer sticks inside a different kind of "pen" for quite some time to come. Maybe he can try his "big flame" trick on some of the cons and bulls when they inevitably order him to cease his little smoke job?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1378744/Homeless-man-stabbed-woman-face-pen-New-York-subway.html#

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/crazed_homeless_man_allegedly_stabs_XnjbUDikIFMML96HaC9XlK

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/woman-stabbed-in-head-with-pen-during-fight-over-smoking-on-new-york-subway/story-e6frf7jx-1226042055851

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/04/20/national/main20055637.shtml

Civility School in Obama's America: 6-Year-Old Tools Up For School; TV Star Schools Rival in Fistfight; & Pizza Man Goes Old School in Knife Fight!

School's out. Just like the jury's out on the sanity of so many American parents and adults these days. It takes only a minute to scan the frontpage of Google News to see plenty of examples.

Tuesday the news included (1) a Houston kindergartener allegedly rolling like something out of "The Wire" (the HBO series pictured at the top) and trucking a fully loaded pistol to school (ultimately injuring three); (2) TV actress Paz de la Huerta allegedly pounding the hell out of a rival TV star; and (3) a Big Apple pizza mogul allegedly taking to the street for a knife fight over a dame. Oh my. Where to start?

Gunplay Amongst the Child's Play

I've heard of the oft-stated teacher phrase, "Young man it's time to polish the apple" (6th grade, Mrs. Clark), but I've never heard of it being "time to brandish the handgun" in the schoolhouse. But that's reportedly what happened Tuesday at a Houston elementary school. (Conjured up images for me of Badass Omar Little's death in "The Wire" -- picture at top; video at bottom).

School officials say a six-year-old kindergartener showed up to the school with more than just a crayon in his hands. Yep, this pint-sized pistolero was packin' more heat than an Alabama Shithouse in the middle of August.

When it came time for this grade school gunslinger to get his grub on, school officials say the loaded pistol fell out of his pocket in the cafeteria and (hitting the floor) fired off a damn round! Fragments from the bullet injured three -- two fellow students (one pictured on a gurney above) and the pre-adolescent desperado himself.

So this could have been a very dire situation, even though all three injuries ended up being reportedly "minor." I'm left to wonder what kind of parents would allow this babyfaced bandido to have access to a loaded pistol in the first place? Please give them some Rope -- they are coming loose.

She Never Acted Like This When She Was Banging Steve Buscemi!

Cops in Manhattan say "Boardwalk Empire" star Paz de la Huerta (pictured three times above on the show) went ape and all N.I.B. (here, meaning Nasty Intimidating Bitch) on former reality TV star Samantha Swetra of MTV's "The City." The brawl reportedly started after Swetra tossed the proverbial "a few snide remarks" in de la Huerta's direction.

De la Huerta allegedly clocked Swetra one right in the kisser. For good measure, she also heaved a glass in her fellow TV star's direction (allegedly). Swetra says she received a bloody nose and bruised mouth as a result of the alleged beatdown.

In an apparent take-off on the old busted celebrity line, "Do you know who I am?", de la Huerta reportedly spouted at cops, "I'm a real actress on HBO!" (As opposed to all the fake ones running around town).

But nothin' doing: Cops busted de la Huerta on charges of criminal possession of a weapon, attempted assault and harassment. Methinks even Nucky Thompson couldn't get her out of this one.

"They Got Sliced More Times Than a Large Pepperoni Pie"

That was the description in Tuesday's New York Post (you have to love the Post). Or, put another way: "This one's messier than a slice with extra cheese."

It reportedly all started when ex-con bagel slinger Benny Geritano (pictured above in police custody) accused "hot-shot pizzeria owner" Mark Iacono (pictured above holding the pie) of "trying to steal his girl." The end result was reportedly a wild-ass knife fight out in the street that left both men sliced up, one in the hospital, and one in the can.

The broad at issue is one 37-year-old Annette Angeloni, who reportedly starting "shacking up" with Geritano recently. Geritano, while most recently working at his family's bagel shop, is a parolee who spent hard time in the joint for his role in a nationwide bank job spree.

He's also been reported to have links to New York's Genovese crime family. In short -- not the kind of dude you probably want to be messing around with if you're a pizza man.

Iacono owns Lucali's Pizza -- "a restaurant that attracts celebrity customers like Jay-Z and Beyonce." According to Geritano, Iacono wanted to go messin' with his dame (Angeloni), setting off the "bloody brawl" out in the street.

Sure enough, the pizza man "got the worst of the blade battle" and is now recovering from surgery after suffering "wounds to the throat, back and legs." Meantime, the bagel man was not injured as seriously, as his moll, Angeloni, reportedly whisked him up off the street and to the hospital in her Lexus.

And these bloody street brawlers may have to start tossing their pizza and bagels inside the local freezer, since cops are now ready to throw the book at both of them. Each man is facing identical charges that include attempted murder.

Iacono's "mob-connected family," BTW, is reportedly none too happy about his arrest. In addition to the incident bringing the family unwanted "attention," the family is also upset that the ex-con may have to head back to the hoosegow just when the bagel-slingin' business was really starting to slice the right way.

As one family member said -- the family is "making more money selling bagels than they ever would have in the mob." Have things really gotten that bad for La Cosa Nostra? Looks like the aforementioned Buscemi picked the wrong week to earn his stripes by whacking out Joey Peeps.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/19/us-houston-shooting-idUSTRE73I5E920110419

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/041911-5-Year-Old-Fires-Gun-at-Houston-School-3-Hurt

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/boardwalk_empire_star_paz_hotel_7tnQcrws8zcAuaoP2k4twM

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/fighting_over_hot_tomato_JGYWlpVWQHoXvpvdFuolzN

Bad News on the Doorstep: For the First Time Since Pearl Harbor, "S&P Cuts U.S. Credit Ratings Outlook From Stable to Negative."

Even Obama can't so easily just laugh this one off. On Monday, the credit ratings agency Standard & Poor ("S&P") downgraded the United States' credit outlook from "stable" and issued a "negative" outlook on the U.S. government as a debtor for the first time since the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor 70 years ago (as famously described by Bluto Blutarsky in 1962).

This means that S&P is expressing very serious doubt that the U.S. government will ever be able to "get its fiscal house in order." While this move is not (yet) an outright cut in the United States' top AAA credit rating, it raises the very real possibility that such a cut will occur in the next two years.

S&P's reasoning: Politicians not being serious about cutting U.S. debt. Said S&P: "More than two years after the beginning of the recent crisis, U.S. policymakers have still not agreed on how to reverse recent fiscal deterioration or address long-term fiscal pressure."

My question: What frankly took S&P so long to come to this conclusion, which to me seems as obvious as a surface full of floaters in a Mississippi Shithouse.

The downgrade is significant and bodes grimly upon the future ahead. Right after S&P's announcement, the Dow plunged more than 200 points and closed down more than 140 points.

The reaction of the Obama administration on Monday? To act like a Twisted Transistor making Hawaiian Noises. They tried to spin it, downplay it, and accuse S&P -- a credit ratings agency and not a political organization -- of being "political." How nice.

Couldn't Obama do any better than that? Why not throw into the mix an accusation of S&P being racist for good measure? Or, why not just blame it all on Bush, Palin, global warming and S&P's lack of civility? Yep, I was most disappointed in the lack of creativity in Obama's response. Maybe he's getting as tired as the rest of us?

http://www.cnbc.com/id/42645647

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42643641/ns/business-eye_on_the_economy/

http://www.newyorkpost.com/p/news/business/cuts_us_ratings_outlook_to_negative_JpC4N6lfWYReVCH22wPnhO

"Yeah, Give Me a Package a' That There Pot Roast with the August 11 Expiration Date ... WAIT A DAMN MINUTE, Sam -- August 11, 2004?!?"

I definitely wouldn't want this Sam the Butcher bringing Alice Brady the meat. If you "Shake Your Rump" after this butcher sells it to you, something's liable to crawl right out of it. As the Old Man (Ed Wilson) on Natural Born Killers might say, "That meatman really cuts it!"

Cops in Naples, Italy have arrested a local butcher for not being totally forthcoming when it comes to his meat. And I'm only talking 'bout the Meat He Sells! To be precise, this Neopolitan nimrod was allegedy selling hocks, jowls and loins (and a lot of other things) that were 10 years past their expiration date!

They're calling this joint "the store of horrors," and the Year 2000-something meat being sold there was reportedly worm-infested and positively putrid. So why would anyone in their right mind buy meat with a 10-year-old expiration date?

Well, this mentally ill meat carver had that one covered, it seems (allegedly). Cops say he tampered with the meat labels and changed their expiration dates so that no one would get wise to his crazy cutlet caper. This demented meat dresser sounds like a real cut up, no?

And just to add insult to injury, this deranged sirloin sire allegedly had his meat hooks into a lot more than just fillet and foreshank. Cops say he was also trying to pass off really old non-meat products too.

Specifically, "shocked food safety inspectors discovered pasta and biscuits crawling with parasites, rotting meats and dairy products, and olives covered in mold in the store of horrors."

But now this chumpchops may have to trade in his butcherblock in the meathouse for a cell block in the ice house. Cops busted the rotten meatman (allegedly) for suspicion of endangering the public health.

Too bad "the public health" typically doesn't account for the welfare of maggots, worms and other parasitic creatures, since this meat-dressing moron was their biggest benefactor (allegedly).

Better watch that rump roast in the can, meatman -- no "Cryin' Like a Bitch" permitted there.

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpps/news/offbeat/italian-butcher-arrested-for-selling-decade-old-meat-dpgonc-20110415-to_12775721