"He Don't Have Any Clothes On!" Sausage in Hand, Nude Hobo Caught on Tape & Nabbed for Burglary at a Florida Old Folks Home…

The 34-year-old tramp (pictured on left) would "hang around in the woods" behind the Mariner's Cove old folks home near Fort Myers. And being a hobo, Joshua Abernathy had just the sort of needs you might expect: An occasional shower; some grub to eat; some napkins to wrap up the eats; and some first aid supplies in case a varmint bit him out in those woods.

And what better place to fill that little shopping list than the neighboring old folks home? But apparently this bum didn't considering clothing to be a big enough "bare" necessity to include on his list! (Links to the full story at bottom).

Cops say Abernathy recently entered the home's clubhouse "in the dead of the night" through an unlocked sliding glass door. He reportedly came in wearing nothing but shorts, and he quickly ditched his britches and hit the building's "slop room" for a quick shower.

Then the vagrant allegedly streaked through the clubhouse, buck naked, looking to get his grub on! He came upon the building's refrigerator, and Bingo! Breakfast sausage! And before making his "cheeky getaway" with said sausage, cops say this "brazen burglar" also snagged some napkins and a first-aid kit for good measure.

But unfortunately for this "naked sausage stealer," he "flashed more than just a smile" to the joint's security camera, which caught Abernathy on tape "prancing around in his birthday suit" as he pulled off the "sausage heist" (allegedly). "He walked around in here like it was his own living room," said one resident afterward.

When the hungry old folks discovered the sausage swipe the next morning, they immediately went to the video and "discovered the naked truth." Exclaimed one resident: "He don't have any clothes on!"

But reportedly, "residents at the retirement community turned the other cheek": According to one, "when you get to 55-plus you don't get a whole of excitement, so this is great!"

Now Abernathy is probably going to have to do his naked sausage prancing inside of a cell at the local freezer: "Abernathy was arrested and will appear in court – fully clothed – charged with two counts of burglary and one of petty theft."

And this wasn't the hobo's first incident inside of an old folks home. He was charged with burglary and grand theft at another home last year. That time, cops say, he boosted some beer and a bicycle. Maybe he used that to ride to his new digs in the forest? Regardless, "it's unknown whether he was nude for that earlier break-in as well."

Finally, the Mariner's Cove is looking into preventative measures to stop anything like this from ever occurring again. Said one resident, "We don't have a rule against streaking in the clubhouse, and we might have to add that."

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpps/news/weird/021811-naked-senior-caught-stealing-sausage_11946850#
http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/national/man-seen-on-camera-taking-sausages-in-the-nude-kshb1298052661977
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local-beat/Naked-Sausage-Stealer-Caught-on-Tape-116468018.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1358477/The-Naked-Theft-cheeky-sausage-burglar-caught-CCTV-streaking-retirement-home.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

CBS Reporter Brutally Raped by Egyptian Thugs on the Streets of Cairo, and Left-Leaning CBS News Ignores the Story For Days to Help the Obama Agenda?

CBS News and the leftist 20-percenters can deny it until the cows come home, but don't pi$$ on my back and tell me it's raining. (Link to full story at bottom).

In the build up to and aftermath of Hosni Mubarak's abdication of his dictatorship in Egypt, all we heard from the left-leaning "mainstream" media was (1) how the protests in Egypt were some great and wonderful democratic movement and (2) how Obama should be praised for his incredible "handling" of the situation and his support for the protesters.

And when CBS reporter Lara Logan was brutally and repeatedly raped by a gang of Egyptian slimes on the streets of Cairo in the "celebration" following Mubarak's ouster, such an occurrence didn't fit too well with the ol' agenda, apparently. Because what did CBS do with this highly newsworthy story? Ignore it, of course! What else?! Just like propaganda outfit Al Jazeera ignored it (nice company there, CBS). Just hope it goes away, right?

As the linked Boston Herald column by Michael Graham states: "They sat on their own story. For five days, as reporters reveled amid giddy celebrations in Tahrir Square, and as President Obama praised President Obama's handling of the Egyptian crisis, CBS reported nothing. Only when other media had the story did CBS break the news that its own foreign correspondent was the victim of 'a brutal and sustained sexual assault.' "

What's more, the additional fact that these Egyptian sleazebuckets were yelling "Jew! Jew!" while they attacked Logan has been suppressed altogether by CBS News, appearing only in a story in one of my favorite publications, the New York Post. And only the Wall Street Journal reported that "the separation and assault lasted roughly 20 to 30 minutes."

Asks Michael Graham: "How is that not news?" Indeed. Of course it's very much news, but it just didn't jive with the "mainstream" media's near-euphoria over the Egyptian situation and Obama's "handling" of it. And it really didn't jive with the Obama's administration's agenda of downplaying or ignoring anything that might portray an Islamic person in a bad or radical light.

So it would seem that CBS simply ignored the story for as long as it could, and then only acknowledged the bare minimum in terms of the facts surrounding the story. I'm sure it also didn't hurt that the American far left already disdains Logan over her past statements defending Gen. Stanley McChrystal in the wake of the Rolling Stone story regarding him.

I would proclaim that CBS News should be ashamed of itself for trying to ignore this story, but what would be new in that? Helping out the leftist agenda is the staple of such "mainstream" media outlets as CBS, NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CNN, New York Times, etc., etc. (and yes, it's just like propping up the right-wing agenda is the purview of such outlets as Fox News).

Put another way, just another instance demonstrating that these news outlets are so incessantly and completely biased to one political side or the other is pretty old news to me. So much so, that I questioned even using this as a blog post topic today. Railing against media bias is so old.

But I guess the awful thought of what Logan went through at the hands of those peaceful and wonderfully democratic Egyptian protesters -- who were only encouraged to take to the streets by Obama rhetoric -- was just a little too much for me to ignore. But not for CBS News.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/op_ed/view.bg?articleid=1317384

Anarchy in the USA. Count Me Out.

I don't care what you think about the Wisconsin bill (link to full story at bottom). Don't care if you think it's an overbearing and unwarranted intrusion upon the rights of Wisconsin public employees. Don't care if you support the bill as a necessary move aimed at improving the state's terrible fiscal situation. Your opinion on the bill is irrelevant to me because that's not the real issue today.

In this country, when we disagree with a piece of proposed legislation, we don't flock into and shut down statehouses. And our elected representatives don't flee the state in order to avoid any vote occurring on that legisation. Yet, those acts are precisely what's occurred today in Wisconsin when it comes to democrat party lawmakers and protesters of the legislation (many of whom I have little doubt have been trucked in from out of state by democrat party interests).

It's the sort of thing they might do in Europe. Or the Middle East. But not here. In America, elected lawmakers vote on controversial legislation all the time. If you oppose the legislation, then protest outside the statehouse or Congress to your little heart's content. Write letters. Call your elected representative.

And if unpopular legislation passes into law despite protests and objections, then those whose rights are allegedly violated by the law can challenge it in a court of law on constitutional grounds. Others opponents can push lawmakers in the future to repeal or change the law.

It's called the way we do things in a civilized society. It's the American way. But if you want to live like a wild animal, and if you want to live in anarchy, then head up to Wisconsin, apparently.

Today's events would be akin to the tea partiers rolling into the chambers of the U.S. House and Senate in order to prevent a vote on Obama & The Dems' unpopular and highly controversial health care law [Wasserman Schultz Edit: "ObamaCare"]. Today would also be akin to all of the republican lawmakers in DC fleeing the country so that no quorum could be present allowing the health care bill [ObamaCare] to be voted upon.

I was a hugely vocal opponent of the health care monstrosity [ObamaCare], but if right-winger tea partiers and GOP lawmakers had pulled the same shenanigans that the democrat party and their protesters are pulling today in Wisconsin, I would have denounced them just as harshly as I denounce today's participants. Such participants should not be heroes of anyone. Not in America.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/2011/02/wisconsin-protests.html#

A Firm Grasp of the Obvious: Sick Slimeball Allegedly Murders Four During Slashing Rampage in New York, Then Says "Sometimes, My Mind Isn't Right."

The "slash beast" is named Maksim Gelman (first picture at the top), and cops say the 23-year-old went on a 28-hour street and subway slashing and stabbing spree in recent days that left four people dead and five wounded in the Big Apple.

Now "the deranged Brooklyn man" has opened up to the media, and it's hard to believe some of the things that poured out of his mouth as he reportedly ranted and "raved" at reporters (link to full story at bottom).

During a jailhouse interview dubbed "the psycho babbles on and on" -- and marked by "fragmented, disjointed sentences" and a healthy dose of "paranoia" -- the scuzbucket Gelman first took a rather dim view of himself, "declaring that he has mental issues" and observing that "sometimes, my mind isn't right." NO! What is he, a shrink? How could he ever possibly come to that particular conclusion?!

Next up, the sleazewad starts blaming his rampage on a big government "conspiracy" faster than you can say loony left-winger or deranged right-winger. "The DEA set me up," spouted the demented scumjob. "They were there the whole time. They let this happen, they're going to kill me! It's a conspiracy!"

He apparently also thought that the reporters interviewing him might be in on the big conspiracy. Said scuzjam: "How do I know you're who say you are? If you are who you say you are, you have to look into this."

And of course, this slippery sleazejacket had to play the victim card, claiming that he's just a patsy in a big "set-up" and a "sacrificial lamb." A regular Lee Harvey Oswald!

On the victim front, he's also charging police brutality: "I'm in a lot of pain. I've been hurting. I've been beaten. They choked me. They tied me at the precinct. I was in the dark. They didn't let me see a lawyer." So he's in "a lot of pain," uh? Really "hurting"? My heart bleeds. It really does.

When asked what he thinks about his alleged grisly crimes, this creep resorted to jailhouse clichés: "The proof is in the pudding. I'm trying to make my peace with God!"

Then this madman really started to work himself up into a twisted frenzy: The Post reports that "after one outburst, the wild-eyed, drug-addled psycho demanded that guards take him away, prompting a female guard to warn, 'You got to be careful, you don’t want to get him agitated, he might hit you.' "

BTW, a boyfriend of one of the victims questioned the whole "set-up" charge: "It's obviously not a set-up. He did this of his own free will." Oh, C'mon victim's boyfriend! Can't you do any better than that? Let's at least work Sarah Palin or some radio talking heads into the mix!

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/the_psycho_babbles_on_on_JxVNijJtKsuTKtXuevFs3H

Making Charlie Sheen Look Like the Pope: Italian Prime Minister Indicted For Allegedly Paying a 17-Year-Old Hooker For Sex, Then Covering It Up!

At least the young porn stars that Charlie Sheen likes to bang are over 18 and only half his age. Contrast that with 74-year-old Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who stands accused of having sex with 17-year-old hooker Ruby Rubacuori (pictured variously above) – a dame one-fourth his age! (Link to full story at bottom).

Over the past day, an Italian judge handed down an indictment under which Berlusconi is charged on prostitution and abuse of power charges. Under the Italian legal system, accused criminals are typically bound over for trial following a preliminary hearing, and the quicker indictment procedure is only used in cases of "overwhelming evidence."

Translation: Berlusconi is up the Rubicon River without a paddle. Not only that -- he's actually facing some serious time in the hoosegow: Four to twelve years on the abuse of power charge and six months to three years on the prostitution charge.

The more serious abuse of power charge alleges that the PM (at some point after allegedly having sex with the Moroccan-born Ruby) used his influence to get her out of the can after she was arrested in an unrelated incident for allegedly heisting over $4,000 from someone.

Prosecutors say Berlusconi made the call to the cops because he was afraid that Ruby would spill the beans about gettin' busy with the PM. Berlusconi admits making the phone call, but he (rather outlandishly) claims he only made it because he thought Ruby was the daughter of former Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak.

Therefore, Berlusconi actually claims, the call was necessary to avoid an "international incident"! R-i-g-h-t! Tell it to the judge and jury, pal. For good measure, the accused john dismisses the charges against him as "groundless" and just a huge "farce."

If the charges are true, then Berlusconi is one hell of a perv – especially given the fact that banging a hooker is perfectly legal under Italian law just so long as the prostitute is at least 18 years old!

So the old man could have easily gotten his Sheen on with an 18 or 19-year-old, but NO! He had to have someone under 18! Slimeball (allegedly).

Well, the ladies of Italy are none too happy with this alleged scuzbucket. Recently "tens of thousands of women have staged rallies across Italy to denounce Berlusconi's conduct with young women, which they say degrades female dignity."

Contrast that with the United States, where virtually every democrat party partisan (women and men alike, including my own family members) to this day defends Bill Clinton's infamous hummer at the "hands" of the very young Monica Lewinsky (not to mention his subsequent blatant lying about it) as being no big deal. [BTW, I could have gotten past it too if he hadn't had the gall to look the American people in the eye and outright lie about the affair].

Final factoids: Berlusconi is also a billionaire and media tycoon who has previously faced a number of criminal charges connected to his business, but he's always beaten the rap. Sort of Italy's version of deceased New York City mob boss "Teflon Don" John Gotti.

But now Berlusconi not only faces the charges connected to Ruby, but also three separate (and unrelated) criminal proceedings on charges of bribery and tax fraud. And as we ultimately learned with Gotti, every Teflon Don – or Teflon john, as the case may be – eventually has his day. Methinks the sun's rising on Berlusconi's.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/02/15/501364/main20031943.shtml?tag=stack

Did 45-Year-Old Charlie Sheen Knock Up His 22-Year-Old Porn Pal Princess, Kacey Jordan???

Kacey says that Charlie's not the daddy, but how weird is it that the porn star Jordan is now "preggers" immediately following Sheen's now-notorious 36-hour "sex, drugs and booze" bender in which Jordan admits to having sex with Sheen? (Link to full story at bottom).

So it's just a big coincidence that she happened to have sex with Sheen last month? OK, I guess, if you say so. But methinks something may be rotten in Denmark.

The only thing uglier about this story than the completely unplanned pregnancy of this very young lady is the fact that Jordan is receiving death threats from anti-abortion radicals "since hinting that she might abort the pregnancy."

"I'm getting a lot of anti-abortion people who are saying they want to kill me," said Jordan. "I’m getting threats, people calling me a murderer."

How nice. People who (whether rightly or wrongly) think abortion is murder turning around and threatening to murder someone who may have an abortion. Twisted, sick, fanatical stuff.

Jordan also says that "people are saying, 'her and Charlie would create the worst child ever.' " Well, let's see:

The seed of (1) a drug-addicted, has-been big screen actor obsessed with banging porn babes less than half his age and (2) a dame who broke into the porn world just as quickly as she legally could upon turning 18. The worst set of parents ever – THAT I could agree with.

Jordan's quotes also seem to indicate that the same people threatening to murder her if she has an abortion are also the ones hanging "the worst child ever" label. Now that really makes a lot of sense! But if you're looking for logic and reason in 2011 America and Planet Earth, you better look elsewhere.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/charlie_porn_pal_preggers_iozZYhPMr7Fsu0oieafz3L

Happy Valentine's Day, Indeed: A Rather Harsh Indictment in Texas as Beauty Pageant Winner Is Stripped of Her Crown For "Eating One Too Many Tacos"!

I first noticed this story on an "O'Reilly Factor" segment late last week involving Gretchen Carlson (a former Miss America, VERY ironically) and another woman (I believe named Margaret Hoover). The rather testy segment had the two women largely refusing to answer the following hypothetical question from O'Reilly: If 17-year-old Domonique Ramirez (the previously crowned Miss San Antonio) was in fact stripped of her crown for eating too much, then would that be wrong?

The two women basically refused to accept the premise of the question, arguing that there was no way that Ramirez's post-pageant weight gain had played any part whatsoever in the Brexar County Pageant Board's recent decision to strip Ramirez of her crown. Rather, they maintained, she was stripped of the crown only because she was late and/or had failed to appear at a few of the required post-pageant events.

Well, the linked story from KTLA.com would seem to suggest that Carlson and Hoover – like O'Reilly himself so much of the time – were completely full of uniformed hot air. KTLA's story makes very clear to me that Ramirez's dietary choices and weight gain were most certainly very large factors – if not the overriding factor – in the Board's decision to give Ramirez her ouster.

KTLA reports that two factors contributing to the Board's decision were the fact that Ramirez "ate one too many tacos" and "was late." Specifically, in defense of its decision, the Board "is charging Ramirez with 'gaining excessive weight,' showing up late to official events, and insubordination."

Heck, a spokesperson for the pageant even admits to complaining to Ramirez about her post-pageant diet and weight gain! Said pageant spokesperson Linda Woods: "I said you know, 'Get off the tacos, get off the chips and the soda.' Because she's 17, and that’s what these kids eat." So her weight played no factor? Please.

Ramirez for her part says that the allegations of lateness and insubordination are false, and she's filed a lawsuit to keep her crown and she's already secured a temporary restraining order pending a hearing later this week.

And as to the alleged weight gain, it's not as if Ramirez has suddenly ballooned into Fat Albert or something. She says she's currently 5'8, weighs 129 pounds, and is a size 2.

Finally, unlike Carlson and Hoover, I have no problem speaking on the issue of whether canning a beauty pageant winner for post-pageant weight gain is wrong. It is not only wrong, it's despicable. These pageants are supposed to be about a whole lot more than just physical appearance and beauty. They are supposed to entail heavy components of talent, intelligence, ability to speak on one's feet, and academic achievement.

To the extent that weight gain played any part in the Board's decision here (and it definitely appears that it did), the Board should be ashamed of itself. And if you don't like that opinion, go watch the "O'Reilly Factor," where they would apparently rather mealy-mouth the whole issue.

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-beauty-queen-too-many-tacos,0,4239653.story

Just Look at This Monstrosity. But I Think I Can Eat It in One Sitting. And If So, I’ll Be Famous!

They call it the "Stellanator Challenge," and although many have accepted, no one has ever beaten it. You have to eat the above-pictured mastodon of a cheeseburger – plus a basket of fries for good measure – within 45 minutes. And no crapper breaks allowed! (Links to full story at bottom).

The Challenge

More than 60 people have previously taken the Stellanator Challenge at Stella's Bar and Grill in Bellevue, Nebraska (just outside of Omaha). All have failed, according to the hottie owner of the joint, Stephanie Francois (also pictured above). And if you fail, they splash your picture on a giant "Wall of Shame" just to rub it in. Check out the list of ingredients on this foot-high heart attack waiting to happen – this Leaning Tower of Lard:

-6 hamburger patties (and big ones)
-6 fried eggs
-12 pieces of bacon
-6 slices of cheese
-Fried onions (and lots of 'em)
-Lettuce
-Tomatoes
-Pickles

But that ain't it! Not by a longshot. They also bury within the burger a couple of spoiler ingredients just to try to throw you off and slow you down: Jalapenos and peanut butter! Why don't they just toss some castor oil into the mix why they're at it?

Those two rotten toppings are apparently emphasized towards the very bottom of the "burger" so that they are one of the last things you would have to endure on your way to the finish line. Kind of like the Village of the Crazies from Gymkata.

And they've got some special rules for this crazy culinary event that also make this one tough challenge. Not only are you limited to 45 minutes, and not only are bathroom breaks forbidden: If you get done with the challenge early, you have to sit there and wait until the full 45 minutes have expired before you can hit the $hithouse.

Otherwise, you lose. And oh yeah – don't forget to sign that liability waiver before you get started, either. It's required (as pictured above). After all, what burger joint wants to be financially responsible for customers dropping dead during regular business hours right there in the dining room?

People who have taken the Stellanator Challenge reportedly tend to be very gung-ho when they first walk in the establishment's front door. But that usually changes before the damn challenge even gets underway. According to the linked story, upon seeing the gigantic burger, contestants "almost immediately realize they had bit off more than they could chew."

The Acceptance

But here it is: I think I could eat that thing in 45 minutes (and maybe even have 10 or 15 minutes to spare). I really do. I mean, just take a gander at all of those onions draping off the thing like tinsel on a Christmas tree. That so reminds me of my own Slimeball Sandwiches that I’ve been shoving into my piehole by the half dozen ever since college.

Just give me a day or so to fast before I get started, and maybe a few days before that to practice with a few bags full of Wendy’s Triples. I might even try smoking the first Doobie of my life right before the job, just to work up a full-on case of the Munchies.

Not only is the Stellanator not overly intimidating to me – as a matter of fact, I wish I had one in front of me right now so that I could start chowing down just for the heck of it. All of this talk about that burger has rendered me famished, and that thing looks delicious!

I could be up there to Bellevue in less than three hours' drive. But should I only order one, or maybe two or three? I want to be full when I’m done, after all.

BTW, I love jalapenos and peanut butter too. So bring it on, baby! No one, and I do mean no one, is going to stick my pretty mug on some damn Wall of Shame. Mark it down. Make book on it. Take it to the bank. And while you're at it, Stephie, stick all of that in little your Wall of Shame and smoke it.

And not only that -- I'm also going to go W Bush on your little contest: Before I even start eating, I'm going to tack up a big banner behind me that reads, "Mission Accomplished!" When I sign that waiver, I'm going to use a different pen for every letter of my name – just like Obama signing a health care bill. Then when things get rolling, I may even self-impose a 30-minute time limit.

I'm even going to bring along a little midget to sell hats and T-Shirts while I'm doing this piece of work. Bottom line: I'm going to be primpin' and posing like Lindsay Lohan after a jewel heist. And I may need some entrance music.

Yep, I'm going to be famous. Bigger than U.S. Steel. The Ayatollah of Stellanollah. The very first person to beat the Stellanator Challenge. I'm going to be like Charlie Sheen – they're gonna put me in the movies. The task is simple: Eat a bunch of food very quickly. For me, that means "all I gotta do is, act naturally," as they say.

http://www.ketv.com/r/26736841/detail.html
http://www.ketv.com/r/26759691/detail.html

Pop Culture Dementia: I Want to Dress Just Like a Drug-Addicted Train Wreck & Accused Jewel Thief!

It's cool to laugh at and make fun of pop culture freaks, but if you obsess on trying to be like one of them, then you are truly demented. Especially if the "star" that you're trying to emulate is a drug addict who was just accused of pulling a felony jewel heist.

And so it is that the white minidress that Lindsay Lohan wore to court this week has become the new "must get" fashion garment for female fools (errr, "fashionistas") everywhere. (Links to full story at bottom).

Lohan wore the tight minidress this week as she pleaded not guilty to the jewel heist charges in an L.A. courtroom. Lohan's eye-popping duds retail for $575 – a Kimberly Ovitz-designed "Glavis Albino" minidress. And deranged Lohan wannabes, in a few short days, have reportedly snapped up every last one of these dresses from the Internet and stores nationwide. Sick.

What's more, the sicko pretenders who weren't so lucky to get one of the dresses have being creating a "frenzy" around the Ovitz sales office, flooding the office with phone calls seeking one of the dresses. Only about 1,000 of these dresses were made, but Ovitz is now reportedly considering a "second manufacturing" of the style. Gee, ya think?

Regardless, I do readily admit that Lohan looks great in the minidress (even if it was certainly an inappropriate piece of attire to sport at a felony arraignment). As a matter of fact, that's the best I've seen her look since, well, maybe ever. Nice rack. I guess if she's bound and determined to go down in flames, she might as well be on fire during the process.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41531239/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/#
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/02/lindsay-lohan-case-authorities-looking-at-earlier-incident-at-jewelry-store-possible-motive.html

A Snowball's Trip Through Hell: "Three Stooges" Allegedly Go "Postal" on Mailman, Ambushing Him with a Blizzard of Snowballs & Fists!

It's enough that the mailman has to deal with icy sidewalks and driveways in the winter, but then pile on top of that three "ice-cold punks" who "pummel him senseless" under an ice storm of fisticuffs and snowballs (allegedly).

Cops in the Big Apple say that was the recent fate of mailman Russell Bumpurs at the snowball-chucking hands of three teenagers (one pictured immediately above; link to full story at bottom).

The mailman was just going about his usual business in the middle of the afternoon when he says "the kids started zinging him with the snowballs as he delivered the mail." Although he yelled at the "three stooges" to "cease fire," they only upped their glacial and facial attack (allegedly) by "pounding him with lefts and rights to the body and head."

Witnesses who saw the meltdown called 911, which resulted in the cops reportedly catching these alleged cold-hearted hoodlums right in the middle of their little cold war on the mailman.

They've been charged with criminal possession of a weapon – the said snowballs – as well as with assault, harassment and menacing. "Maybe these punks will be getting their mail in jail," one of the cops actually spouted to the New York Post!

In addition to the "ice-ball weapon rap," a judge has slapped a restraining order on the alleged ringleader of this frigid threesome. So if the icy little punk gets within so much as a snowball's throw of mailman Bumpurs, he'll be riding a one-way avalanche straight to the ice house.

But since this wintry whippersnapper is apparently an arctic menace to postmen everywhere, I'm curious why the TRO doesn't apply to any and all mailmen – if you get my drift?

Indeed, postal veterans now seem worried that this incident might put a real cold sore on the postal delivery business. "That's terrible," said one three-decade postal vet of the snowy incident.

Reading between the snowballs, it seems to me that they're afraid of copycat ice clowns now that a chilly precedent has been set: "I've been with the postal service for 26 years, and I've never heard of such a snowball attack," said the same vet.

As for mailman Bumpurs, he was treated by EMS for bruises and swelling and has since been able to return to his mail route. No word yet whether body armor and a ballistic shield are now accompanying him on his sub-zero route.

http://www.newyorkpost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/snow_kids_in_arms_yFb9z7e5iz4lMfS3uN5DIK